Blaming circumstances rather than taking some responsibility?

[Ruskins]

In light of the budget today, do we think that without trying all that much harder, some of these people complaining about their circumstances could do so much better.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmx235r9wr3yo

Take Robert for example. He is 29 and earns £22k a year at Newcastle Airport. Still lives at home with his parents, and is single (no surprises there if he's still living at home). At minimum wage, on average that equates to 33 hours of work per week on average.

He says his getting to work costs for his 32 mile commute are £750 a month including car finance, and he pays his mum £250 for rent and food. His earnings after tax will be £1,613 per month.

Excluding the likely costs for fuel, insurance, tax, and a bit of maintenance, I’d estimate that his car finance is likely costing him around £500 per month. That’s nearly a third of his take home – batshit insane!

He desperately wants wants to move out too, yet seems (judging by the framing of the article) to blame circumstances for his poor predicament.

So what would I do if I was him?

Firstly I'd ditch the car finance and buy a cheap fuel efficient small car for £1,000 (ish), taking a small loan if needed to achieve that (£500 a month saved).

Move out from his parents (£250 month saved).

Rent a luxury 2 bed flat on the side of Newcastle nearer the airport (less commuting distance) and find someone to rent the 2nd room. Cost £750per person including all bills and council tax. Key here is that 2 bed flats are far cheaper per person than a 1 bed flat, and you get much more for your money.

His monthly costs would then be as follows:

Rent, bills, council tax: £750
Car & motoring expenses (assume living nearer airport): £300
Food (learn to cook): £250
Phone/internet: £50

Total of £1,350 so leaving him with £263 a month spare cash.

And after that he’s left living in a lovely flat in a lovely part of town. Much more viable a prospect as a potential partner I’d have thought without his parents cramping his style?

Once the above is established, I would then take on a small part time job, perhaps in a bar so he can socialise and meet people at work. 12 x hours per week, taking his working hours per week to 45 hours per week should be easily achievable and would bring in an additional £500 a month after tax.

This extra cash can be invested in training to further his skills so that he can bring much more value to the workforce and consequentially earn far more than the minimum wage job he currently has. Or he could use his extra money to start a business or invest for a deposit on his own place. Or he could just spend it and be happy.

It's really not that hard is it? Or am I the crazy one for suggesting that people should become more self reliant, and work harder to further themselves rather than sit moaning, blaming circumstance for their current dissatisfaction with life?

Don’t rise to it. Those sorts of people have no shame.

i am disabled since my 30s. I have had these comments from wealthy healthy people my age (50s) for twenty years now. All thinking awful things about me.

Sounds great - why don’t you become a politician given that you appear to know how everyone can improve their lives using tweaks such as, move from your mums and rent a luxury flat and become a live in landlord as a person who earns 22k a year

A politician? No thanks, I'm nowhere near corrupt enough.

It's a fair question given that the country is in a huge financial black hole and still digging hard. Sounds like in this example is fair enough, so sorry for any offence caused (there was none intended). But there are too many spongers out there claiming PIP for things like anxiety. I'm not surprised some of these people have anxiety if they barely leave their houses and can't hold down a job.

So it’s ok for that person to get help when needed?

but I’m seen as a sponger?

Even though I’ve never claimed anything since becoming disabled. I’ve paid in all my NI and made all my state pension contributions as I worked from 13 until 3 years ago so just under 40years.

anyone poorly or disabled is certainly not a sponger.

I never said you were. But many gaming the system are. And that effects us all.

Also btw try having a diagnosed mental health illness. I have agoraphobia and CPTSD (as well as my physical disability one triggered the others). It’s not for the fainthearted.

I also got kicked out at 18. I lived in a bedsit and was on a yts so had £35 a week. I took night work alongside my FT work to feed myself. I then brought a child up alone whilst working 2-3 pt jobs and studying for a degree. So I’m not a failure or a sponger by any stretch of the imagination.

If he rents a single unit he will be responsible for council tax. less 25% when it should be 50%. For a single child free person council tax is an absolute rip off and poor value for money. You are directly subsidising those who have brought children into the world and who are paying NOTHING towards those extras that they use or the waste which they generate.

Completely agree with you, OP.
I don’t get why someone would pay this amount for a nice car instead of saving to move out. And not work FT either.

no you said that to me implying you think I must be?

“Are we, the taxpayer, contributing to you sitting at home due to your ill health?”

anyhow off to sit on my arse all day and watch the budget. I will then come up with a financial plan of how to get us through the next few years of rising costs and a mortgage that’s going up by at least £400 a month. I already have an old banger that’s completely unreliable, basic cheap food only to eat and second hand clothes off of vinted. Bearing in mind stress aggravates my leg, back and feet and I get spasms up and down my legs so can’t walk properly when too stressed. I’m supposed to avoid all stress to live the best life I can. And no before you think it about me as well I was not even a burden on the NHS my surgery was private and I then self funded a year of physio so I could stand again. But people like me must be spongers and have never paid their taxes.

I asked a reasonable question, I didn't imply anything. There will be plenty of ways you can improve your own situation if you do the research and apply yourself accordingly. We all have problems and challenges, some big, some small, but a victim or martyr type mindset rarely does anyone any favours.

I have not stated any opinion on the airport fella. But you have. You called him a failure. And that got my attention, and makes ne interested in how you are defining "failure".

Personally, I would not call anyone a "failure". What I am interested in where it comes to "failures", is in the system itself. Because that affects more people.

But the system this young fella is in is maybe a bit different from the system other young people are in who have parents that buy them a car.

You also said on page 1

".... complaining that you can't find a girlfriend or a boyfriend (probably because you still live at home with your mum)."

Is that contributing to why you say he is a failure ? No GF.

But he has a nice motor. There is that. And I can imagine a scenario where a Woman who had a car bought for her by her DF brings her new BF home. Who works in an airport, lives with his mum, but has a nice motor.

Your suggestion of renting a flat completely glosses over the need for a second person as if finding a person to share a 2-bed flat with is easy. He might not know anybody else who wants to live with him and is willing to look for a flat with him. Yes, he could rent a 2-bedroom flat alone and then sublet then you’re ignoring both the fact that subletting is not always allowed and the costs and risks to that. If he is renting the flat alone then he will have to pay the full deposit himself and likely have at least a month where he hasn’t found a second person where he is paying the full cost, but it could be longer if he struggles to find somebody. If the other person moves out then again he will need to pay the full rent and bills until he can find another tenant. It would be a financial risk which could work in his favour but also could add more financial strain and it’s impossible to predict which way it would go.

Flats often don’t come furnished as well so there is an initial outlay purchasing furniture, white goods often aren’t included so there is an outlay there plus the need to pay maintenance. Including deposit there would probably be a need for him to have at least £3.5k in savings to pay the £1500 deposit, first months rent where he doesn’t have a tenant and to buy basic furniture. Your suggestions ignore these costs and whilst it’s easy to say that he could save money by renting with another person you’ve ignored the actual reality of making that plan happen, you can’t just magic up a housemate!

I think you're missing some of the context here, maybe wilfully. You're taking inflation into account when you talk about salaries (you moved out when you were earning less than this man) but ignoring the far higher increases of rent and other essentials. It's not the same as it was for older generations. My mum was a home owner by the age of 20. I think it's quite disrespectful to refuse to acknowledge that it's harder for young people today.

I agree with you on the car, though. I drive a Fiat Panda I bought 5 years ago for £1000 (even though my partner is a "high earner") and am a big advocate of owning small, ordinary cars rather than renting big, shiny ones that just make the roads more dangerous.

Blame the system rather than take some personal responsibility for your own direction in life. If you think like that then you'll always be a loser.

My crappy old car costs me £350 a month (tax, insurance, maintenance etc) and I don't even need it for work.

If my job relied on a car I think I might get a new reliable one on finance.

I agree with you OP, he has no dependents and should be taking small steps towards independence while he's young even though they are uncomfortable in the short term. Flatshares with your peers are how you grow up and were the normal stepping stone to your own place. This is how everyone used to be raised. He is 29 now and will be mumbling something similar at 35, 40, 50. Failed to launch.

I remember that my rent for a room in a shared house in a nice part of Chester was £250 in 1996. I was paid £7k initially, quickly increasing to £8k after my trial period.

Let's compare that to 2026. Inflation wise, my pay then (£8k) is now equivalent to £16.7k in todays money. An increase of roughly 100%. Nowhere near the £22k this guy earns.

Just checked and rented rooms in the same area of Chester where I used to rent are now in the range of £450 - £550 per month, bills included. So give or take, again an increase of roughly 100%.

But this guys inflation adjusted salary is still 30% more than the equivalent I earned at the time. And you claim that somehow he's worse off?

I don't think he is. I think he's just entitled and lazy.

But the point of politics is to change the system so that people can move up and move on and improve their lives.

individual responsibility isn’t the point of politics.

in this country it is largely agreed that there is free education for all children( you don’t have to use it but most do) because it helps people to get in in their lives and it helps the country.

there are lots of things that are done communally rather than individually as it is better to everyone. You could shut down the London transport system and tell everyone it is their own individual responsibility to get to their work but the country runs a lot better and people’s lives are a lot better easier with communal transport.

that’s the point of politics.

Were you 29 and living in a shared house?

The trick is to buy an old car that's not crappy, one that's been looked after and maintained well. Some older cars are now approaching classic status can even make you a little bit money as they are no longer depreciating, perhaps appreciating. But again, you have to do your research.

Not really.
My car is 10 years old, I bought it on finance. Paid the balloon payment at the end.
I now own an old car, but I have it's entire history because I AM it's entire history.
It's worth more than £3000. It's a boring old ford focus.

You lucked out on the fiat panda. It could have been a dud

I was living in a shared house until I was nearly 30, yes. It was a LOT of fun.

In 1998 I was on a grad scheme with a salary of 25k.

my dc graduated last year. One of her friends is doing a grad scheme (atomic energy) on 35k.

That’s an increase of 40%.

houses in my city have gone up from 56k to 350k
(that’s the house I bought with my then boyfriend).

That’s a 525% increase.

my city now can’t keep teachers and similar because they csn’t afford even a room in a shared hmo.

But it wasn't a dud because we spent a few hours researching what faults and history to look out for with that particular model before we bought. We thoroughly checked the history to make sure that all of the important jobs had been done. And then we got it checked over by a mobile mechanic at the sellers address which cost us £60 to know that everything was in good condition.