Right, I think what is confusing me is your use of the word "discriminatory". I just don't think it is discriminatory when couples are offered the same benefit, and one couple chooses not to have it, while the other doesn't.
Now, sometimes things which can be seen as a choice nevertheless should receive support from the state. Having children is a good example, for lots of reasons I can go into if you like. I don't think it's discriminatory against childless couples for couples with children to have support. But I don't think whether one parent stays at home or not is equivalent. The children need to be supported either way.
However, I get that what's bothering you is that you value parents bringing up their own children more than they would if they both worked.
So: I don't have an in-principle objection to parents receiving the money for childcare from the government whether they use it for that or not. So that would be the option of simply increasing child support to take account of that. If this could be worked out, that would satisfy both of us, at least partially. If you wanted to make more of an incentive for one parent to stay at home than for both to work, then we would just have to disagree. And I've already said why - you would get more women doing this than men, and I don't agree with women being pressured to stay in the home like that.
Now, given that the government is very unlikely to want to give money to parents for child care that doesn't need to be spent on childcare, I do agree that, in certain circumstances, you are going to end up with the both-working couple earning alot more than the one-working couple. It will depend on how generous the benefit is. If it accounts for the full cost of childcare, then both parents working will simply allow them to bank two salaries rather than one (of course, there is a massive variety in what salaries people. Something which just seems like extra money to a middle-class family may be a very important source of money for a working class family, who perhaps are both going to have to work to make ends meet whatever happens). If it only accounts for part of the childcare, depending on how generous it is and how much the person who would be at home earns, it may be that salary basically just pays for the rest of childcare. Either side of this, the salary doesn't cover the childcare so some of the other person's salary is needed as well, or the salary isn't entirely needed to go into the childcare so the couple end up with more money than the couple who simply have one person stay at home.
I think that's enough for now - handing over to you. Does the above make sense, and I don't mean, do you agree, but I am thinking about this clearly?
Furthermore, on Reform being the only party to support this. Fair enough, but what do you think about their other policies? Obviously you can like a party is bring in a certain policy proposal to the table without intending to vote for them. And further, what about the worry that I started this conversation with - that I don't trust them not to undermine the electoral system, as seen in many authoritarian states around the world, both that we are meant to like, and not meant to like?