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Original poster

Would you stay & Fight?

153 replies

ragged · 26/02/2022 15:50

If you lived in Ukraine, I mean.

Pretend you had the basic same home/family/job/skillset you do now, but in Kyiv today.

I think I'd try to figure out how to stay & fight & send the youngest DC away West with DH (who probably wouldn't want to stay & fight).

Your likely choice?

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 26/02/2022 16:50

I think I would be useless in the fighting but hopefully I can do something helpful such as food or first aid. I think if my children were young I would leave or at least get them out

Snog · 26/02/2022 16:53

Is there anywhere to actually go?
I'd stay and fight.

PrimroseTheSmooth · 26/02/2022 16:57

Juno22
Thankfully we're not in the position where we have to decide. Personally I think it's distasteful to even speculate.

Its part of empathising with the horrendous events - imagining the thoughts and feelings of others

I’m with @Juno22 in finding it distasteful- treating other people’s life and death choices as a parlour game. It’s the opposite of empathy.

nuncestanisciuna · 26/02/2022 16:59

There are many ways for a resistance to fight for freedom. Anyone fit enough and without caring responsibilities can contribute. Just look at these brave Ukrainians in the clip from Sky News - they know what is at stake and are doing whatever they can.

GrandRapids · 26/02/2022 17:03

If I didn't have a child, yes I think I would. DH would definitely stay and fight (ex military)

AlexaShutUp · 26/02/2022 17:06

I really admire those who are staying to fight, but I'm not sure that I'd have the courage. I'd probably flee with dd.

DH would want to stay and fight, no question.

Longdistance · 26/02/2022 17:06

I may be 46 with a crumbling arthritic knee, but I’d gladly stay and fight. It may be the Eastern European in me and fire in my belly. Don’t know if my dh would be happy with me.
I have a great shot too Wink

Neurodiversitydoctor · 26/02/2022 17:07

We were musing on this this morning. DS is 18 next month, it is all we could do last night to persuade him not to travel to Poland to join the resistance, so he would stay. I am a medic so leaving wouldn't right. That leaves 47yo DH and 15yo Dd. I suggested he might leave with her, he said he would want to fight (he is not a bad shot) which leaves Dd who is actually the only one who has military training ( cadets). So think we'd all stay TBH.

amylou8 · 26/02/2022 17:07

I was thinking about this earlier. The last 2 years have shown me how unwilling I am to live under even low level dictats that I disagree with. So yes I'm pretty I would prefer to die fighting for something as fundamental as my home and my freedom. But I don't have a gun pointed at my head, and hope I never do. My kids are grown ups now, I think while they were still little I'd probably just have got them as far away as possible.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 26/02/2022 17:08

Leaving wouldn't be right

EvilPea · 26/02/2022 17:09

@ancientgran

I was a bit surprised when I heard that women could leave but men between 18 and 60 had to stay and fight. Are feminists outraged, I mean a healthy woman in her 20s, 30s or 40s leaving and old men and boys fighting, it doesn't sit right with me.

Mind you I'm female and closer to 70 and I'd fight, I could make a molotov cocktail or fire a gun, OK my aim might not be great but I think they'd get the message.

Assuming what I’ve just read is accurate. They have 36,000 women fighting. Including “miss Ukraine”
mellongoose · 26/02/2022 17:12

DH would want to stay and fight. He'd be good at it too.

I have primary aged DC so if I could find a way for her to leave safely with my parents I would stay and fight. I would fight for her.

Lurking9to5 · 26/02/2022 17:12

If I had the same everything, then yes.

I've spent the last 15 years trying to get to safety and security and now finally I have a home, a job. My kids are older (but still teens). I cannot go through it all again. I would stay and fight. But I'd want to survive and live and If I lived, adapt Sad

LauraAshleySofa · 26/02/2022 17:20

My top priority would be getting Dd and PIL to safety. I would need to trust PIL to care for Dd because I would be staying to support the fight.

I would be completely useless in combat. But I could drive around and collect donations of catering supplies, camping equipment and bedding etc from others who were fleeing, I could coordinate shelters for those who stayed to fight, DH and DS would want to stay, I could clear debris from roads and tend to the injured.

So basically I would stay and support the fight, but I know my own limits so I would be doing the boring jobs and I would leave the heroic gestures to the trained soldiers.

That said, I am so grateful that I don't have to make that decision for real, and I hope I never have to.

Squidthing · 26/02/2022 17:20

Pre kid me would definitely have stayed and fought. Now I have small children my aim would be to get the kids to safety. I think if still fit enough when my kids have grown up I would stay and fight again. But it's very easy to say when you aren't in thr middle of it.

Original poster
ragged · 26/02/2022 17:26

Is there anywhere to actually go?

Borders are open, Poland, Hungary, Lithuania, some of the least "immigrant friendly" EU countries have flung open their doors to Ukrainians. Impressive.

i very optimistically hope this megla-maniac maneuver is some kind of start of Putin's very hasty fall from power.

I would try to cooly calculate if maybe I would be better deployed doing cyber warfare against the Russian state. Knocking out their satellite feeds, breaking their bank system, spying on them, poisoning their water supplies (or water in tanks, even). Sabotage, etc. Resistance doesn't have to be about pointing a gun or who lobs a grenade.

OP posts:
Natsku · 26/02/2022 17:30

My priority is my children so if I could escape with them to safety, I would. If I could not then I would do whatever I can to defend, as well, there wouldn't really be any other option. OH would be called back into service, he was a medic during his national service so I assume would be a medic again.
I was thinking about this last night, because of the threat to Finland, and my conclusion was that if that became credible (right now the rational side of me is saying its not) I'd try my best to get us on a flight out (have flights booked for the summer so hope it would be just a case of moving them forward)

misssunshine4040 · 26/02/2022 17:32

@Juno22

Thankfully we're not in the position where we have to decide. Personally I think it's distasteful to even speculate.
Yea it's awful and pointless as it will never be known to us. How privileged we are
EatSleepRantRepeat · 26/02/2022 17:35

Sometimes the best thing civilians can do is get out of the way - the army don't want to have to worry about getting 70-year old Nigel and Betty out of the building the opposition are holed up in before they shell it; if they didn't the person on the button has to live with themselves afterwards.

NeverChange · 26/02/2022 17:41

Is this thread not in very poor taste given so many in the Ukraine don't have a choice?

Conscription or unable to leave for many other reasons.

2022newyearnewname · 26/02/2022 17:44

I've always said I couldn't join the army. The thought of it scares me (huge respect for our armed forces, though)

But I'm currently so mad at Putin and what's happening that, if I didn't have dependants, I'd probably say fuck it and try and get there.

Don't know where it came from. Never thought I would be a stay and fight type, but I can honestly say it's a possibility now. I think Zelensky's behaviour and bravery has given me the push.

Lurking9to5 · 26/02/2022 17:44

I think thread shows support. Not in "bad taste". Jeez.

EezyOozy · 26/02/2022 17:46

Definitely if I didn't have two small children!

Northernlurker · 26/02/2022 17:49

I would send the dds away, dd2 is 21, she'd have to take care of dd3. Dh would have to stay though he's not a fighter, chaplaincy work would be his thing. I would need to go to work, nhs ops manager.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 26/02/2022 17:51

I cannot imagine the terror and horror especially when Putin has told Ukrainian soldiers to use women, children and the sick as human shields.
I would like to think I would stay, use my nursing skills and my not bad shooting abilities but in honesty I think I would be a useless wreck.
For goodness sake something must be done to stop Putin, but what?