Best friend turned nasty & aggressive

[Shoes19]

At drinks yday with my best friend - we've been friends for 10 years - the conversation somehow turned to politics. I said I was pleased we at least got a majority Gov. as it brings stability (which others I know have voted differently to me agree with).

My BF said in an angry voice "did you vote tory? i have lost all respect for you" . i didnt say i had but was so taken aback by her sudden nasty & angry attitude my silence revealed it. I said i guess you voted labour (her response "YES!)". I tried to explain my reasons, incl. it took me until election day to decide as i was so undecided, & i live in a really safe tory seat & doubt one vote would make a difference to the eventual result.

She wouldn't let me even say one word about why i voted the way i did to explain my position, incl. i voted tory reluctantly. I tried to explain that I didn't agree with Labour or Corbyn (the socialist policies etc. and that the IFS said Labour will bankrupt this country) and I really did not want Corybn to be PM; nor did I agree with Lib dem position on brexit (i voted remain but as a democratic accept & respect the result and want brexit done).

I remained calm (never raised my voice or got angry or nasty) & said i didn't want to fall out with her over this as she is my closest friend and she said "you're my best friend but i have lost all respect for you"in an angry voice. I said it was ridiculous that this was happening i.e. she was turning nasty on me her friend and seemed to be falling out with me, her response was in a passive aggressive tone 'it's ridiculous is it?". I said i respect the way she voted and clearly we were equal in that we didn't agree with the other's vote, and let's not ruin a good day over this.

She sat with a face like thunder & was really nasty & aggressive. Even when i said let's change the subject, she just sat there and stared straight at me, making me feel uncomfortable. I said this felt really awkward now. And I had to think of random subjects to talk about i.e. anything good you've seen on tv to which she stated a program and then added but BBC will go. Other things she said was when this country goes down & when the NHS is sold and we get a no deal Brexit that is on me. I think she may have called me a nazi (it sounded like it). I've never seen this side to her but she was really angry, nasty and passive aggressive when responding to my questions.

We are supposed to be having xmas drinks with another friend this week but 1) i am not sure i want to go 2) don't know or care how the other friend voted (i suspect labour) & don't want the two of them to become nasty to me, and 3) i don't even know whether i am her friend anymore. I have decided that if i do go & at any point she/they turn on me i will politely say I think i will call it a night and I honestly wish you both a lovely Xmas, and leave.

I am hurt by her stance towards me and some of the things she said to me, esp as she was my closest friend. And i am not sure what i should do, i would like her to apologise for how she made me feel & for turning so nasty....I don't think she will. I know I would apologise if I was her as i would not treat someone like that & would respect people's votes...this country is a democracy & people should vote how they want without receiving abuse etc. I am just taken aback at immature, nasty & aggressive attitude - we're both 36 too so adults. I have and will try and remain civil but am not sure whether this puts a dent in our relationship

I think it is hard to be friends with people who have fundamentally different values to you - I cut contact a while ago with a "friend" who expressed a bunch of pretty awful opinions about lesbians. I think voting patterns some people feel are the same and that's kind of ok. We all get to decide what matters to us.

Buy don’t Labour continually promote the message that you need to talk to your enemy- discuss, listen and find common ground to make peace - isn’t that why they met with the IRA, and with other terrorist organisations, so why aren’t Labour and it’s supporters listening now ?

Corbyn was invited to meet with the Israeli Labour Party - that's the party of Shimon Peres not some little bunch of nohopers. And he was "too busy " . They stopped asking.
Corbyn's idea of dialogue was only with people who made him look "cool". It's called being a "useful idiot" in political terms.

@ReanimatedSGB

Or - just hear me out - Labour made two masive mistakes.

1. They CHOSE to have an extremist leading the party, whose far-Left policies elecrify a minority of the population (esp. 'woke' young activists) but alienate everyone else (because they don't believe they are affordable);
2. They CHOSE to shift from the position of honouring Brexit to the position of contesting it by holding a second referendum - again, thereby electrifying the minority of people who are viscerally hostile to Brexit (again, largely young people and lots of so-called 'progressive' middle-class) but alienating the majority (incl. most voters in the northern Labour heartlands).

They lost in 2016 by doing #1. They lost more heavily last week by doing both #1 and #2.

Simple.

@ArabellaDoreenFig
don’t Labour continually promote the message that you need to talk to your enemy- discuss, listen and find common ground to make peace - isn’t that why they met with the IRA, and with other terrorist organisations...?

No, Corbyn, McDonnell et al got into bed with the IRA bcause they supported the IRA's agenda, i.e. the 'armed struggle' (murdering people) as the route to a United Ireland:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/Jeremy_Corbyn/11924431/Revealed-Jeremy-Corbyn-and-John-McDonnells-close-IRA-links.html

Corbyn is also viscerally hostile to the state of Israel:

metro.co.uk/2019/11/29/jeremy-corbyn-questions-israels-right-exist-resurfaced-interview-11240739/

The reason why Labour lost is quite substantially due to the vicious propaganda of the Right. 88% of Tory adverts were found to be dishonest or misleading; the majority of newspapers (owned by tax-dodging billionaires and promoting visceral hatred of anyone who isn't 'normal' ie white, heterosexual and an aspiring home-owner).
Labour has had problems with anti-semitism, bullying - and the endless faffing about on Brexit rather than coming out solidly for Remain. But it's the Right who are actually killing people for disagreeing.

Killing people?

They made a fairly good job of killing people off with austerity

But it's the Right who are actually killing people for disagreeing.

Are there any other fantasies you’d like to share with us? Because that one’s batshit crazy.

Jo Cox. Heather Heyer. Their deaths are not 'batshit crazy fantasies'. Darren Osbourne, who drove his van into the crowd outside a mosque. Not a fantasy.

I'm sorry no. That's like saying terrorists represent all Muslims. Or Stalin or Mao represent all socialists (the left). If you refer back to c20th history most of the mass killings have been under the guise of left ideologies. I'm afraid people who are mentally unwell or psycopathic or extremist latch onto an ideology and utilise that as an excuse for horrible vicious actions. The ideology didn't create the deaths, that person did.

The conservatives basically weaponised bigotry and racism in the areas where there are few immigrants and few people who aren't white. It's easier to either actively demonise or just write off as irrelevant huge groups of people if the only thing you know about them is that they are Not Like You

Yet I live in one of the most racially diverse areas and we had probably one of the biggest Conservative majorities.

I think that white British is the minority around here

Same with the area next door.

Labours loss isn’t about Conservative racism it is squarely down to Labour and not just the bonkers policies that would have bankrupted the country that people saw through that were in the manifesto but also those potential policies that never made it into the manifesto that should have been dismissed as childish immediately yet were given oxygen to be discussed.

I think it made people worried that if these were the things that made it to the table to be discussed what other hard brained schemes could they think were great if they did get in.

I'm not surprised this happened OP. The left in this country are extremely intolerant.

I voted Labour but I would 100% bin off someone who spoke to me like this. Who the fuck does she think she is, the cheeky bitch?

Mumsnet logic

You voted Tory so you want the NHS to be scrapped, everyone to be homeless and children to DIE IN THE STREETS!!

Labour voters really are pathetic

It would seem so @Kimbaland .

@Bluntness100 @Shoes19

The sheer level of vitriol coming from the left is appalling. I'm fifty years old and I don't recall ever seeing grown adults behaving like this in my life time. Even some of the responses on here are shocking.

This is so true. I watched an interview with Labour MPs and ex MPs which included a Momentum Corbynite. She literally just kept shouting over the others, refused to stop and let others speak and was insistent their election approach were right as it was the public were swayed by the media

Her approach just demonstrated to me the sheer nastiness of the hard left and why Labour sunk to a historic defeat. But it really saddens me OP that people like your friend as becoming so ignorant of the principals of a liberal democracy of freedom of views and ability to vote for who you want.

I saw a friend of a friend post on Facebook to ... to all my working class friends who voted for Tory scum, thanks for what you have done to us. So this intolerant approach isn't just your friend

I would say to her how hurt you are by her approach and if she thinks that of you then it is better you break contact. She will soon have no friends.

This thread shows very clearly how foul people are. It has got to the stage where politics cannot be discussed. As for falling out with people because they vote differently, what about our tolerant inclusive society? I hear this is also a thing in Europe so we cant even blame the Brit thing. Your vote should be private. I have a mixture of political views in my family and no one has fallen out yet. This Christmas neither Brexit, Labour or the Conservatives will be discussed. Have you noticed that the old fashioned term Tories is back in vogue as an insult?

There was no choice in Austerity, Labour would have had to have done the same, it is the same all over Europe

demonstrated to me the sheer nastiness of the "hard left"

Where did you see 'hard' left?

The only party preaching isolationism, intolerance and putting up bridges is the Tories with their hard 'no deal' brexit, fuck foreigners living here approach. Nasty? You seem confused between the actual reality of what is happening by the party in power which you voted for.

The mental schism is amazing.

Well, it looks like the US are about to impeach the orange wanker, which is something to be encouraged by - self-seeking, dishonest fascists do seem to have a short shelf-life and it's quite likely that Johnson will come unstuck fairly soon.

Please learn a bit more about the impeachment process before you celebrate. The impeachment will be heard in the Senate. And can be rejected there.
But don't let reality get in the way.

Please please can we stop this tribal warfare? We are only damaging each other. Things are difficult, please stop making them worse. Agree to differ. We all have a point of view. I am horrified how the culture in this country has changed. So called king people have turned into viscious snarling creatures. I had hoped it might just be social media but it seems that it has spilled into real life. It was never so before the last 5 years what have we come to ( and please dont say its down to Brexit)

While I totally agree with you, it cuts both ways. I feel horribly "in the middle " and am sick to death of holier than thou bullshit against anyone who dared vote Leave or who dared not to support Corbyn'sLabour.

I have never felt the way I feel over the latest election. I have not fallen out with anyone but I have lost respect for a few people based on their vote. However it's my personal view so I have tried to swallow the feeling and get on with it. But it is hard.