Hi Everyone,So sorry I have not been on to update.
In all honesty I did not know what to write as am still having bad moments and wanted when I did post for it too be all happy news.
But am coming to realise that this is the next part of the journey and just because I left all the bad stuff was still there whether that be in my head or ongoing from my ex.
Firstly thank you for the scales kettlechip.They did arrive and everyone comments how unusual they are,they have been put to use and am very gratful,thank you.
Queenrollo-thank you for the voucher,the children will have fun spending it,that was really nice of you.
School nurse story-
OK I completly forgot the new school nurse whom I had'nt met yet was calling round.
I had had a stressful morning and was (ermmm) having a cigerette in the garden when the doorbell rang.
I peeked out of the window and saw 2 ladies who I mistook for maybe jehovah witnesses and croutched down under the window to hide.
I waited a couple of minutes and peeked up again to see the school nurse peering in the window at me.
I just opened the door and she introduced herself.
Nothing was said but she must have thought I was hiding from her not knowing I had forgotton our appointment.
Not a great start,god knows what she thought of me.
Right where to begin-brief summary.
The children are in Ireland at the moment on holiday with ex and they arrived yesterday.
Spoke to them this morning and judging from the background ex is stressed already!!!!
No change there then.
He is gone from being amicable to awkward to full of self pity.
Only last week because I said he could not stay over night before they went on holiday he left numerous messages in my e mail and on my mobile and landline.
Words to the effect that he had had enough
and this was goodbye and to look after the children.Then one was for my children saying he loved them and goodbye.
He was drunk of course.
I did not call him back as I knew it was a ploy to get me to talk to him.
Low and behold he was alive and well the next morning and did not mention it all all.
I have only had one incident where he took the children out ,got the train back so I thought but had had been to the pub and returned about 10.30pm asking to talk to me.
I told him I did not want any upset at this house and it was my space and not to taint this house for me.
He left but left a nasty message on my phone on the way back home and e sent e mails when he returned home.
He has yet to give me any money at all and in fact complains all the time how much it costs to have the children at weekends and train fare costs etc.
He still manages to find money for his drinking though it seems.
I still get phone calls asking if I don't answer the phone straight away wanting to know where I was ,was I seeing anyone etc.
He has this idea that we live seperatly and he stays over sometimes and we remain friends and lovers and see how it goes.
Yeh right!!!!
As if I am going to agree to that one.
I left for a reason.
I am having lots of visitors and still see DP and am really pleased she wanted to stick around and be my friend.
My family visit often which the ex hates and hates me having people round.
I am obviously meant to be stuck in the house all the time with no company.
The lady from WA has kept in touch and we have chats still on the phone and it is good to get her on going support.
As is all the support on here and am only sorry I have not been on sooner.
Time hasd just passed so quickly and meant to get in touch then life got in the way.
Thank you everyone and will try to update more often.
Will also post on other threads as feel ready now ,will carry on using my damnright name.
Who knows I may be in the relationships thread or the lone parents.
I have had an offer (between you and me) of a "date" ,he is only 39, a toyboy at last ,but it is way way too soon for me.
Maybe a friend for the moment.
The children have settled in really really well at school and made friends and are both very popular which is great.
DS went to the school disco last week and stayed out till 9pm coming home covered in tattoos.
DD also has some good friends and went to a party and has no problems going into school now.
They have adapted so well ,much to ex's disgust.
School meeting was a bit traumatic.
Confronted with 12 professionals sitting round a table and DS's old 1:1 from the school whom I had not been told would be there.
She did'nt talk to me at all and got the feeling she disapproved of my actions.
She went on to say how the children at the old school missed DS and wanted to know when he was coming back.
All a bit awkward and made me feel so guilty for leaving.
Highly inappropriate I thought to bring that up but there you go.
LEA woman insisting I had seen the minutes from the last meeting that ex attended without me .
But I had'nt as they went to the old address and ex would not give me a copy.
She basically said
"Mrs M........ ,you were still living at the marital home when these were sent you would have seen them."
No, they arrived after I left and could not be bothered to argue,she made me out to be a liar.
Expect there is more stuff I have forgotton about and WILL update when I can.
These last few weeks have been exciting,exhausting,stressful,exhilarating,life changing,happy,sad,scary etc etc.
But ultimatly I made the right decision in leaving,no doubts there.