Continuing Non-Denominational Support for StarnStripes in her new life

[Portofino]

You can be strong!

Stars - I think you are being amazing, and we are all so proud of you. I expect your solicitor and Dread have told you this already, but please keep a record of any contact from exH - it will all count against him as he's clearly demonstrating his unreasonablness.

{{{hugs}}}

Stars,

I can't really add anything to what anyone else has said, I just hope you and the DCs are happy. Stuff EXH and HIS problems, tell him to go cry on someone else's shoulder!

Glad you got the parcel, I'm planning to burn some CDs in the next day or two so watch the post!

Hello

PMSL-will look forward to the new music,thank you so much.

DD was much better this morning and no tears thankfully.
DS is taking it all in his stride.
They have both been amazing.

EX H on the other hand is showing his true colours.
He rang this afternoon and left a message and when I finally got to talk to him he questioned what I had been doing and why I was'nt there to answer his call.
Ironically he said I sounded strange and had I been drinking or something!!
He was being funny about the arrangements to see the children tomorrow and asked if I could bring them to a meeting point out of my way as he said it was too far to come and pick them up.
He also asked for my new e mail address so we could arrange things and he not so as he could pester me.
I told him I would write any arrangements down for him.

I said he should orgainise it better and he got moody and said you are making all the decisions and put the phone down on me.
Damn right I am making all the decisions.
And as for me sounding different it was'nt drink it was probably my confidence coming over to him on the phone and he could'nt handle it.

• thats my girl! .H is a twunt , isnt he? doesnt like it much now your in control! yay for stars!

Ah, didn't last long this 'new leaf' of his, did it?

Well done.

Atta girl stars.

I LOVED reading your post: Damn right I am making all the decisions.

So great to sense that confidence and conviction in you. I just know you're going to be ok you bloody marvellous woman you!

waving pompoms with glee cheering section in full swing you are winning every battle. Go stars Go!!

do like it when your not available to answer the phone it is your phone to chose if to answer or not you are fantastic enjoy the power girl and do let it go to your head you have every right to

Yay! Good for you!

Does he have the kids for the weekend again? If not, do you want to come over Saturday afternoon? Could come and get you all? Am going to have to cancel coffee tomorrow as horrible feeling I'm coming down with a cold, and want to get it out of my system asap.

[oink]

Go Stars! Go Stars!

"....he got moody and said you are making all the decisions and put the phone down on me.
Damn right I am making all the decisions."

You go girl!!!! That is the best thing I have read in weeks!

My face looked like this when I read your "damn right I am making the decisions" - just brilliant!

Go stars, go stars

You are a star!!! Damn right you're making the decisions

Still thinking about you, hope you have a lovely day today.

I'd love to make that sentence - 'Damn right I'm making the decisions' - into a picture/embroidery that stars could put on her wall to show the world how far she's come!!

nice one, that hit him where it hurts!

Just echoing what the others have said about "Damn right I'm making the decisions!" - v.v.v.proud of you Stars!

Oh I was looking for stars n stripes thread but I think I've come on the wrong one by mistake.
I was looking for the downtrodden lady whose husband made all the decisions...

Oh but then so was he

I think you should now change your mumsnet nickname to 'damnright' and we will all know who you are.

Shake off all the old and that includes the nickname that we all knew you by in your 'old life'.

Anything is too much effort for him isn't it - you don't drive and he wants you to meet him somewhere to hand over the children? If you do (which I know you won't!) then make sure you don't accept any offer of a lift back from him - don't get in the car

H can't understand that you actually dare to go out your own front door now, he's had years of you just being in the house all the time and probably liked you being agrophobic (sic?) cos it meant he knew where you are all the time.

When he does get back in touch about the children say that he didn't get back to you and you can't wait around waiting to see what he wants to do, so you've made alternate arrangements.

I second that suggestion, Flibberty - much better than a tapestry on the wall!!

Interesting that he has to assume that there might be a new man on the scene (as in the questions about faithfulness). He clearly doesn't appreciate that you might possibly have left him due to his totally unreasonable behaviour!

Oh, this new found strength of yours just gets better and better.

So proud and pleased that you are coming through this so well.

I wish we could start a country-wide mexican wave thing going. I'll start it off............up......and.......down again.

And up......and down!

And up .... and down (oohh me poor dodgy knees)!

Hi stars glad to hear you are still going strong and have been putting your foot down. You are right to not meet him half way IMO, he is lucky you are being so reasonable really as to let him see the dcs!

Have to say I almost didn't dare check on this thread in case he hadn't returned the dcs last weekend. Am so glad he did but don't relax rearding access as he can't be trusted.

Although I can see he probably thinks he has been trying, he is still being controlling and abusive isn't he. He has no right to ask where you have been, money questions etc. Your life, time, finances etc are not of his business anymore!

Don't give him new email addy stars after what happened with the last one - keep your old email address just for him. Regarding the list, I wouldn't give him one, but would give one to your solicitor.

Hi,stars here with my new name.

Thanks everyone for the boast in my confidence.
I do still have a few moments when I falter but EX H goes back to his old ways and I realise I did the right thing.

He rang today about arrangements for tonight and I dared ask if I could give him a list of things I wanted from the house.
He sounded surprised I wanted anything.
I asked for the TV that my sister had given me and he said could I not have the smaller one from upstairs.
He said it would be too heavy for me to lift and he was not helping me to shift things.
I told him someone would come and help and he asked if it was my new boyfriend!!
He said he would help to list it out of the window.
I gave him the a list when he picked the children up and DS asked what it was and of course EX H had to say a list of things mumm wants from the house.
I told him it was'nt approriate to discuss it in front of DS and he said why,I don't want to lie to him and then promptly told DS they would look at it together on the bus back.
I thought what an idiot,using the children to get back at me.
He was still complaining that he had to come and pick them up from here and had to say I don't know why mummy could'nt have brought you to me it was obviuously a problem for her.

Leopards and changing spots spring to mind.

Sorry- that was meant to say "help me to throw it out the window."