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Philosophy/religion

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Original poster

People assuming: if you go to church, you are holier than thou, hate swearing etc.

57 replies

scalt · 18/06/2025 16:04

I had this happen to me recently, which surprised me: a colleague I like very much who knows I go to church swore in front of me, then covered her mouth and said “I forgot you don’t like swearing”. I had never said such a thing, and she added that she thought I don’t like it because I go to church, and I don’t think she was joking.

I swiftly put her right, explained that I don’t think many of us who go to church are any holier than anyone else; but I was wondering if this is a popular belief. Has anyone else had this?

OP posts:

Hardtum · 21/06/2025 09:47

scalt · 21/06/2025 09:07

That’s not what I said. You keep putting words in my mouth.

Show quote history

But if she “doesn’t do it every sentence” that means she has sworn multiple times in front of you? And fact neither do you would indicate you have also sworn in front of her!

so…..

Hardtum · 21/06/2025 09:48

LaMarschallin · 21/06/2025 09:20

so you’re close friends and you have both sworn multiple times in front of each other?

I don't understand why these two things couldn't coexist, Hardtum.
I've got friends that I'll swear in front of and vice versa. So, we might have sworn multiple times over the years in front of each other.
Why would that stop us being friends?
Unless the implication is that all the swearing happened on one occasion during a ding dong row or something.
But it's obvious that's not what scalt meant.

I had never said such a thing, and she added that she thought I don’t like it because I go to church, and I don’t think she was joking.
I swiftly put her right, explained that I don’t think many of us who go to church are any holier than anyone else;

This doesn’t sound like a “good friendship” exchange but hey ho!

What's wrong with the exchange,
Blinkagain? It sounds perfectly reasonable to correct someone's misapprehension and carry on from there.
You can do that sort of thing in a good friendship.

Edited

You have utterly misinterpreted me

my point is… odd that suddenly this woman has gasped with surprise about swearing when both she and the op have sworn in front of each other quite a bit in the past!

CurlewKate · 21/06/2025 09:52

That’s not what “holier than thou” means.

Original poster

scalt · 21/06/2025 10:04

As this seems to matter so much, I shall tell the parable in full.

Neither my friend nor I swear all the time, and we had not done so much in previous conversations together; but we both swear in general, as many people do, churchgoing or not. If we had done it together, it went unnoticed.

When we were ranting together in agreement about the conditions in which we were working, she swore; then said “oh I forgot you don’t like swearing, because you go to church”.

Let this tale be written on tablets of stone, so there is no doubt about it. And all the debate about “do friends swear in front of each other” is not what my OP was about.

OP posts:

Hardtum · 21/06/2025 15:10

; but we both swear in general, as many people do, churchgoing or not. If we had done it together, it went unnoticed.

so she has sworn in front of you before and never gasped with horror at her thoughtlessness

ok, got it! 😆

Rathereasy · 21/06/2025 20:02

Maybe blindfold her Op?!

Rathereasy · 21/06/2025 20:03

Oh wrong thread 😆

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