What does everyone think of polygamy in Islam

[aliahb]

How can it be possible for a man to have 4 wives and treat them all equally?

I didn’t know that about Islam wives. I assumed they would live together. It’s portrayed that way in literature often when some child bride is bought and the older wife/ wife’s are displaced. A la bookseller of Kabul.

I don’t see why it’s inherently a problem. It’s not the model in the west but that doesn’t make it awful. That said the family I remember from the 70s who lived like this, the households did not get on at all and there was a lot of resentment and jealousy. I am myself naturally monogamous but I don’t think those who aren’t are “wrong” any more than as a heterosexual I would be negative about homosexuality.

This! You’ll find examples of it in most religions. It’s about power and control by men of women.

Polygamy was practiced by the inhabitants of the region, absolutely.

However in His teaching on marriage the Lord Jesus Christ indicated that monogamy was always the design from the beginning, and it has been considered so throughout Christianity.

“And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?”
Matthew 19:4-5

Because we can’t make 4x as many women as men so if one man takes 4 wives, then 3 men miss out on being coupled up. Low status men end up getting cast out from the religion with all of the associated knock on social effects that the taxpayer picks up the cost of.

@Porridgeislife I think historically men have always had multiple wives. In the west that was one after the other but I don’t see it as problematic. Women didn’t last long pre birth control and antibiotics. Men were culled through wars, women through childbirth. I would imagine it’s perfectly workable.

It's not just in islam. I make annual visits to a very Christian African country, and many of the men in the very poor village I'm connected with have more than one wife. I'm not sure how it's justified, as they are very religious, but it happens..

Its highly misogynistic and treats women like livestock.

Polygamy usually benefits the man more than the women. That in itself doesn't lend itself to godly behaviour.

The wife has grounds to divorce husband if he takes a wife without her permission.

As others said, it was due to financial help for women especially if they lost their husbands or had multiple children already.

It is misogynistic

The early LDS church was enthusiastic about polygamy. It was only after multiple laws were passed that meant the church would lose money, property and political power if it continued did Woodruff (entirely coincidentally, of course) have his revelation and wrote that it should be stopped. But only for new polygamous marriages of course. Existing ones were still fine.

I don’t imagine equality of any sort is a high priority to a man practicing polygamy.

@LeaningOnTheEverlastingArms Monogamy is a Christian concept of marriage and Christianity is much, much older than Islam.

Actually legal monogamy was a pre-Christian Roman concept. Jesus was born, a citizen in the Roman Empire and ancient Rome only allowed for 1 legal wife. (yes, divorce was easy for both sexes). Jews etc had to follow Roman laws.

Polygamy was permitted in the Old Testament (just read how Sarah and Hagar turned out) but when the West became Christian it followed Roman law and enforced legal monogamy. When Western Jewish traders in the Middle Ages travelled to Muslim Spain they started to take second wives. This created such an an uproar among Jewish women that Rabbi Gershom Ben Judah in 1000 A.D. banned polygamy for Western Jews. Jews in Muslim countries could practice polygamy until 1977 when it was banned by the Mizrahi rabbi in Israel.
Ethical monogamy is indeed a Christian concept, but legal monogamy comes from Ancient Rome.
So from Jewish history we can see that women hated polygamy but men would grab it if they could.; It does absolutely nothing for women. Civil marriage to one spouse is the good ancient Roman law.

It’s not “forbidden” per se in Christianity, but it is recognised as not being in step with the original creation design.

In addition men with more than one wife are disqualified from serving as elders and deacons (1 Timothy 3 vs 2 & 12).

I don’t see why it’s inherently a problem. It’s not the model in the west but that doesn’t make it awful

Polygamous societies are typically more dysfunctional because you end up with a lot of single incel men. Sharing resources from one main earner across multiple wives and children is also likely to lead to worse outcomes for those children.

Mormons aren’t polygamists. It was outlawed a very long time ago in the religion and in fact has been against the law in very Mormon states like Utah for a long time. There are some sects and cults based initially on the Mormon faith that practise polygamy (think Sister Wives tv show for example).

Please don’t spread untruths without facts.

Which cultures did you pull this from?

Having more than one wife isn't a new idea by any means and was common from the earliest times. The Bible has plenty of examples of it, plus concubines along with them! I guess that way the population could grow quickly as it take 9 months to make one human.

However nowadays I would personally disagree with it.

I think if the wives are all happy (and my understanding is that previous wives have to agree to the new one), they are all of legal age and consenting, then it's nothing to do with anyone else.

It wouldn't be for me, the The logic of "men have needs" is gross. But, as I say, if the women are happy then it's no one else's business.

There's loads of studies on this. For example this Economist article showing the link between polygamous societies and increased violence:

https://medium.economist.com/big-love-and-big-war-exploring-the-link-between-polygamy-and-violence-67306fb3c41b

Extremely interesting article.
Thanks for posting

Muslim here. Afghanistan is not a representation of Islam at all. The customs/norms are often the complete antithesis of Islamic teachings.
OP I know a number of people who are in polygamous marriages for various reasons, and each wife has the right to be treated fairly in terms of finances, time and gifts. If her husband transgresses this she can take him to court (in a Muslim country). It's not common at all, and many women will boycott men in their family who express interest to do this.

i think given how many people have multipke marriages and how many marriages end in divorce and the fairly well understood concepts of "open" marriages, mistresses etc etc that its just the same old same old with a different spin.

Some Mormons absolutely are polygamists. New polygamous marriages were stopped (eventually, and only after the government started threatening the chuch's money and power) in some Mormon sects but by no means all. And existing polygamous marriages were allowed to continue. Those are facts.