I am another one feeling drained today. I did have a pump class booked, but have cancelled because I want to use what little energy I have to clear the house of christmas stuff, take down the decorations, filll up bags of (tons ) of unwanted plastic gifts for donation and clear the energy in the house. As much as I love my familly i am overloaded with people and feeling sad at the abount of waste and stuff that has been produced in my home. One family member that will go unnamed bought 200 gifts for just those in our immediate family. She bought me six body/bath sets encased in multiple layers of plastic, four kitten calenders three pairs of polyester pyjamas, two fluffy synthetic bath robes - and a similar abount of stuff for the faily that we don;t need,
Seeing these piles everywhere is making me feel quite sad, and I have an overwhelming need to pare back the house today. Of course I will pack all these things up and make sure they are donated to some place that will use them or sell them, but I am quite overcome at the uneccessary excess, the waste, the production when we have people with so little, the harm to the planet.
VioletCharlotte
I wonder if the empath within us is just too hard to bear at times. Short bursts of people is fine for me, but I can sense the pain and hurt in others. Many people don't want to try to walk a journey of healing and would be indignant at the idea that personal growth is even a thing that may enhance their lives. My mother sat all day waiting for a phone call from my sister who lives abroad- she didn't phone, text or even send a card. I know all was well because I was in touch with my niece that day and my sister was cooking a family meal.
But so much is glossed over, left unspoken. I am guessing that like many families, stuff is just glassed iover, a lick of paint and a smile painted on for the world to see.
So many are hurt or broken, in need of healing. I think many especially of an older generation would be quite offended at the idea of self improvement, instead walking down the same theadbare carpets in dusty corridors which serve them so poorly.
I happened to have a conversation with one of my mother's very good friends a few weeks ago- she phoned and my mother was out.
She seemed upset and within a short time was blurting out her problems, how she struggles with her controlling husband, that she takes anti anxiety medication, , has bad insomnia, hostile relatioships with some of her other ( adult) children. She was sobbing on the phone to me and we talked for 45 minutes.
A week later my mother met this woman for coffee and I aked how she was- not wanting to betray any confidences I mentioned that we had a brief chat and she seemed a little upset- I gave no details.
My mother became quite indignant said this woman is always happy, has an amazing life, a wonderful family and no problems. Just nodded, and I know my mother thinks I an crazy for suggesting that this woman's life is anything less than perfect.
Yet my mother and her friend spent 3 hours together chatting, how can this not be leaked out into conversation? With what is a supposed best friend. I know they spend their time talking about their church, bus timetables, church flower displays, and fuck knows what else. Just accepting of each other's faux veneer.
Again quite sad. And I think that's what a lot of families do at christmas- pretend to have a jolly time, while inside a pressure pot of sadness, fear, resentment, all the unspoken stuff.
Again all quite sad.
Just about to do a short meditation to start my day, before the big clear up!!