To ask catholics if I have committed a mortal sin?

[CreamPleease]

A few months ago, I started going to church again after years of not going. I did a huge list of all the sins I could remember which took place in the last 15 or so years (since my last confession). I went to confession and then went to mass the following day and have been to mass every sunday since.

Last weekend, I was away from home for an event (Thursday to Sunday morning) and subsequently missed mass. My plan was initially to go on the Sunday evening but I spoke to one of my DC on the Saturday and told her I’d be going to church on Sunday night but she didn’t want me to go on Sunday night as she was really missing me and wanted me to put her to bed.

In all honesty, I had time to then attend the Saturday evening mass in the town I was staying in but I was staying with family and I just wanted to enjoy the evening with them.

I was going to be going to confession tomorrow night before going to church on Sunday but DH now has to work so I have no one to watch my DD’s.

Can I take communion on Sunday or is it best I just have a blessing and go to confession the following weekend?

Thanks.

How fucked up is religion for you to do this.

As far as I remember (haven't been to church in years but was raised Catholic) you should have a blessing this week, go to confession then take communion next week. I don't think you should take communion before confession.
Apologies if I'm wrong and I'm glad you are finding support.

Hi OP, I'm a practising Catholic and wouldn't go to Communion in the event of missing mass until I'd been to confession.Thats the rule,not many people follow all the rules all of the time but my conscience would be at me.

You sound very stressed about it all OP.

You say you've been through some hard times and want to have this in your life to help you heal.

By all means, it a good thing if you can find something in your life to bring you comfort. But be very wary of allowing it to be something else that causes you 'hard times' and makes you feel stressed and guilty because you're not 'getting it right' because that's not going to help you in any way.

In our parish there is only Confession twice a year (usually Christmas and Easter, but last year only at Easter). The priest says that unless you've been shagging your brother-in-law or you murdered your granny, it doesn't matter too much. (I may be paraphrasing a little!).
I haven't been in years, because the priest is also my friend and it just doesn't feel right.

It does seem a bit obsessive almost like a way to control the things you can't. Please be careful. thee is nothing wrong with following this path but I have seen this kind of behaviour in 2 people. One who could not make decisions at all without consulting the priest. The other would pray a lot more than usual to the extent that if someone swore in front of her she got annoyed because she then had to go pray because of it! The second was basically using the religion as a crutch instead of getting help alongside it to sort her problems.

Are you getting a professional help to get over the trauma? You should. Go to church, but also to a doctor. This sounds bit obsessive tbh.

Yes op, you will burn hell because you skipped a day. Meanwhile, various assorted murderers, rapists and pedophiles are going straight to heaven because they attended church every week and said all the right words at all right times. Oh, and repented on their death beds, don’t forget that part.

You don’t have to confess every week to attend mass. Generally the service itself has the Lords Prayer which forgives you your sins (and that of the congregation) before the actual communion portion occurs. Confession is for more personal transgressions not the common daily sins.

Straight to hell with you

Some of the replies on here are pretty upsetting. I totally understand religion not being everyone’s cup of tea. My DH, for example, isn’t religious in the slightest. There’s no need to make a mockery of me because I choose to go to church and would like to follow the rules that go along with that.

I’m so grateful to those of you who have given helpful replies. It’s much appreciated. I will try to speak to my priest before mass begins on Sunday and take it from there.

Also, to those of you who are worried about me, thank you for your concern. I am currently taking antidepressants and attending regular appointments with my GP. I can honestly say, going back to church has been something that has helped me through a lot of my unresolved issues that have dragged me down for most of my life. I am not in a great place, but I’m a better place than I was and I’m hoping to continue to improve.

Hi 👋 fellow Catholic here. I’d just like to say that I applaud you for coming back to Church and taking your faith so seriously 🙂
I can tell you what the definition of a mortal sin is. I can’t tell you if your action was a mortal sin because I’m not you, or God.
So the Catechism says for a sin to be a mortal sin the following three things have to apply.

1. 1 a grave or serious matter

1. Committed with the full consent of your will, knowing that it was a grave matter.
2. and with the previous two conditions fulfilled doing it

When I miss mass on Sunday and I’m not sure about it then I usually don’t receive Holy Communion. You can stay in your seat and make a spiritual communion - no one will noticed. Then go to confession next time you can go. I’d rather do that than have a worried conscience. Even it it was got nothing. In the past Ive missed mass when kids were sick etc. Try not to worry too much. God loves you and sees your heart. Plus you stayed with your daughter because you love her.

Other mortal sins include using contraception, taking the lord’s name in vain and masturbation.
Is this shit for real??

hi OP
I'm a catholic and I missed a fair few masses in my time. I am just not sure I believe in "mortal sin" I believe that Jesus knows I'm doing my very best - even when I'm not iykwim.
I just can't believe I'm going to find myself at the pearly gates and St Peter is going to say "Ah greenfields. Great work on the PTA and on befriending that poor girl who really needed a mate, and remembering to call your mother on the anniversary of your granny's death (and even say a prayer for that) and helping with children's church. Excellent. But I notice from my records that you were hungover on quite a few Sundays and cba to come to mass so down to hell you go. "
Does that make sense?

Well I’m sure if there is a god he will be more than understanding that you wanted to spend time with your children! Surely if he’s that amazing, he’ll be able to empathise 😁

I’m a catholic too.

Please do bear in mind that Jesus did not make any rules about confession or mass. It’s all MANmade stuff, usually made up to keep people in check and a congregation on the benches.

Jesus broke the rules of his own religion when it mattered. He followed his conscience. He loved and forgave people, and understood the complexities of life.

In other words, be forgiving of yourself and follow his example

OMG

I agree, therapy would be kinder to you than catholicism.

This kind of unnecessary crap (and the paedophiles, homophobia and general obsession with sex) was why I left the church in the first place.

Btw my mam got pregnant out of wedlock so my nana disowned her 🙄 then she did get married, but then hit divorced.... 😳

When she died I would hope to think she did go to the heaven she so believed in! We’re all human after all. Not perfect

The Catholic Church has moved on OP. Reconciliation at least once a year around Easter is advised. You can just say a prayer before communion and receive communion next week. (A lot of very outdated advice on this thread 😀).

Why not ask your priest for guidance - I think that's what they're there for. xx

Rather than self destruct because of the overwhelming self hatred I have felt, I am trying to give myself the opportunity to have a fresh start and to live a better way.

I genuinely mean this nicely...please be careful. Christianity and Catholicism in particular, teach you that you are born sinful and need to be ‘saved’, that you are nothing without God, that you need to repent for your ‘sins’ etc. If you have self-loathing issues then religion could make it worse.
If you think going to church and confessing will really help you then crack on, but just you are a good and whole person on your own, don’t lose sight of that.