To ask catholics if I have committed a mortal sin?

[CreamPleease]

A few months ago, I started going to church again after years of not going. I did a huge list of all the sins I could remember which took place in the last 15 or so years (since my last confession). I went to confession and then went to mass the following day and have been to mass every sunday since.

Last weekend, I was away from home for an event (Thursday to Sunday morning) and subsequently missed mass. My plan was initially to go on the Sunday evening but I spoke to one of my DC on the Saturday and told her I’d be going to church on Sunday night but she didn’t want me to go on Sunday night as she was really missing me and wanted me to put her to bed.

In all honesty, I had time to then attend the Saturday evening mass in the town I was staying in but I was staying with family and I just wanted to enjoy the evening with them.

I was going to be going to confession tomorrow night before going to church on Sunday but DH now has to work so I have no one to watch my DD’s.

Can I take communion on Sunday or is it best I just have a blessing and go to confession the following weekend?

Thanks.

@NewYears - fantastic post, thanks. You could be a wise priest yourself.

Thank you x

helberg plenty of “non-traditionalist” Catholics, including me, believe in mortal and venial sins. In fact DD aged 8 is just learning about it all as part of her first holy communion preparation.

Hi OP, some fairly OTT responses here, polarisation gives a fairly comprehensive response, ignore the snark from others, your desire to be sincere and faithful does you credit.

The only thing that I will add is that firstly the formation of mortal sin (and missing a holy day of obligation is grave matter) does require an element of knowledge and intention. Not that it is therefore not a sin, however it may well not be mortal. I missed mass myself when looking after my children who were so unwell I was unable to goto mass, and the priest pointed out that this wasn't therefore mortal sin. This may not therefore exclude you from receiving communion.

Secondly, if you have made every reasonable effort to attend confession prior to mass but have not been able to, you may receive communion as long as you attend confession immediately after.

To be honest just go to confession. It's the thing I love best about being a Catholic. No matter what I have done, no matter my failing, I've never had a priest say "well you've really screwed it up this time, guess you're done for". It's always a reminder that God loves us and has mercy for those who come to Him in humility and repentance.

Typical nasty mumsnet responses. I totally understand you asking this question. I dont read stress and worry in your post. Its just a question.

Ive gone through similar "reversion" to Catholicism in the last year. Best thing to happen to me in a long time and has had amazing effects on my life. I understand you wanting to keep it up and take it seriously. Did you feel a weight drop from you after that first confession?

So to answer your question. Theoretically yes its a mortal sin. My priest has said Eucharist is a healing sacrament and not to let missing mass come between you and the Eucharist.

Personally I go to mass every week to observe the sabbath per the 10 commandments and to make time in my week for God. I try to pray daily at least but the form varies.

If I miss mass (3 times since March none my fault) then I've gone to confession as soon as I can but take communion in the meantime. Lots of people dont go to confession, miss mass then just go back to communion. But I prefer to keep up confession and following the rules as best I can.

Im not missing out on communion if I can help it. Its really beneficial to me and it sounds like it is to you.

Serenschintte and polarisation's posts are the ones to pay attention to here.

As serenschintte says, only you and God can tell if it's a mortal sin.
Missing Mass is grave matter, but care of small children is one of the acceptable reasons to miss Mass.

Personally, if I've missed Mass, I wouldn't receive communion until I'd been to confession. I wouldn't feel right.

Confession is a fantastic sacrament with real graces and healing power. Despite being a Catholic all my life, it's only now in my 40's I'm properly discovering this. And the real help it brings in helping to stop sin, especially habitual sin. So see it as an opportunity to go again, even if, perhaps, you don't technically need to.

Ignore the some of the strange comments on the thread. I don't understand their attitude at all.

@isittheholidaysyet saying an act of contrition covers you if you have missed confession

New years
Sorry I don't quite understand your post?

Do you mean, saying an act of contrition, instead of going confession is sufficient, if you have comitted a mortal sin?

(I'm not saying OP has committed a mortal sin)

@isittheholidaysyet

I meant that if someone wanted to take communion but hadn’t been to confession since their last communion, saying an act of contrition covers them sufficiently so that they can take communion.

It is, in itself, a confession. And resets the landscape, so to speak.

Also, in RC mass there is the Penitential Rite/Confetior that is a confession

(and penance!)

An act of contrition can generally only remit venial sin, that includes the act of contrition which is part of the Mass. (Receiving communion also remits venial sin, as does making the sign of the cross with holy water).

In order for an act of contrition to remit mortal sin, it must be made purely out of love of God, and not out of fear of the consequences or any other "selfish" motivation (CCC 1451). Perfect contrition, combined with the firm intention to go to confession, would mean you were ok if you got hit by a bus on the way to confession

Only clarifying because of people earlier who thought that the act of contrition in the Mass was a suitable replacement for confession!

See also CCC1457

Anyone who is aware of having committed a mortal sin must not receive Holy Communion, even if he experiences deep contrition, without having first received sacramental absolution, unless he has a grave reason for receiving Communion and there is no possibility of going to confession.

www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c2a4.htm

You don't need to go to confession before receiving communion, normally.

An act of contrition is fine for venial sins, or just saying sorry to Jesus in prayer, or the penitential rite in Mass, or receiving communion.

(Is that what you mean?)

But you do need to be in a state of grace to receive communion.
If you've comitted a mortal sin you need to go to confession, before receiving communion again.

Cross post with polarisation.
But she explains it better!

Yes, that's it!

I’m buggered then. I am a Catholic and full disclosure, am 22 years married but currently in a relationship with a man who I am deeply in love with. I’m attending Mass weekly and praying for guidance , but I don’t feel able to take communion , so I’m just going for a blessing and don’t know if I’m going to be able to take communion again. I don’t feel I can go to confession because well, I’m not sorry though I should be. So that’s me going to hell.

temp
Keep going to Mass and keep praying, and see where the Lord leads you,
Amazing things happen when we trust God, and impossible situations are sorted out.

Just don't give up on being a part of the body of Christ, because that is where the hope and help is.

We are all sinners on a journey to holiness.
I know all too well that 'not being sorry' thing.

I think polarisation has answered the point when she/he states that an act of contrition covers mortal sin when from a place of love of God.

It is the intent that determines in. OP is sincerely coming from a place of desire to what she believes is spiritually correct within the framework laid out by the RC church. But faith like this is a live, fluctuating force that dips and shifts so that at times you feel it keenly, other times it is working in the background.

Perhaps, her daughter really needed her that day in a way neither OP nor her daughter could articulate or were in the frame of mind to recognise? Perhaps her decision to stay at home was God telling her to (as she might see ) and that something happened in that time, a conversation, a joke, a smile, a meal) and that resonates somewhere in the child that she can pull on later at a time of need?

Perhaps knowing her mother gave her her time in itself does this for the daughter.

Faith works in such delicate, intricate ways in my mind.

Yes, we have all crossed posted! @isittheholidaysyet and @polarisation

Apologies for typos, eyes are playing up.

Too much you know what, not enough confession

@isittheholidaysyet

‘We are all sinners on a journey to holiness’

I prefer ‘we are all a work in progress’

Somehow lifts the tone.

@Temp why do you say you should be sorry?

I'm not catholic, but COE. Either way, same god, different way of worship. But to the point, I think God understands and really, would prefer you to put your child to bed, and spend time with them, making them feel loved and secure; rather than turn up out of guilt to Mass. Like you, it's been many years since I went to church regularly, and one thing I've learnt is that church should be a place of support and love, like a family, to give you that base line in which you feel loved and confident enough to grow and learn in yourself and life. If a church, or religion, is making you feel guilt, sadness and inner turmoil, then in the nicest possible way that church, or the idea you hold of christianity, isnt for you. In this case, I get the feeling it's not so much the church as to what your idea of faith is like. It might be worth taking some time out to explore that, and the differences between religion and faith, before you start forcing yourself through something that is making you unhappy. If God is loving, forgiving and benevolent then why would he want you to feel guilty of "sin" all the time? Also if Jesus died for our sins, and made things right with god, then doesnt that mean sin is over? Asking forgiveness for something is more about recognising you made a mistake and learning from it for yourself, not for god iyswim. I have been where you've been, so I do understand, so if you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Hope it works out for you

Why are you doing this to yourself?
Let go. Be happy. Free of fake guilt.

Faith works in such delicate, intricate ways in my mind.

I agree, and I think the bar for achieving mortal sin is set quite high.

Though it some times can be easy to denote what constitutes 'grave matter', I wouldn't ever want to suggest that another person has committed mortal sin. The requirements are so dependant on individual circumstances.

@Whiskeylover45 yes, I think you have it.