To ask catholics if I have committed a mortal sin?

[CreamPleease]

A few months ago, I started going to church again after years of not going. I did a huge list of all the sins I could remember which took place in the last 15 or so years (since my last confession). I went to confession and then went to mass the following day and have been to mass every sunday since.

Last weekend, I was away from home for an event (Thursday to Sunday morning) and subsequently missed mass. My plan was initially to go on the Sunday evening but I spoke to one of my DC on the Saturday and told her I’d be going to church on Sunday night but she didn’t want me to go on Sunday night as she was really missing me and wanted me to put her to bed.

In all honesty, I had time to then attend the Saturday evening mass in the town I was staying in but I was staying with family and I just wanted to enjoy the evening with them.

I was going to be going to confession tomorrow night before going to church on Sunday but DH now has to work so I have no one to watch my DD’s.

Can I take communion on Sunday or is it best I just have a blessing and go to confession the following weekend?

Thanks.

Attending mass is a 'grave obligation' so missing it could be a mortal sin. I can not imagine now that this would be seen as being the case- otherwise the RC Church would be full of people who commit a mortal sin. At worst it might be a venial sin. In truth, for most catholics, it is a regular occurence.

Some of you need to take a close look at the way you express your views. If you are anti-religion don't post. To suggest Christian practice is ridiculous or that the OP needs to see a doctor is just awful. It would never ever be seen as acceptable to speak of Islamic or Jewish practice in this way. It shows ignorance and intolerance.

Why on earth did non Catholic's or those who are anti-religious feel a need to wade in and make fun of someone else's religious views?

OP didn't ask for this.

Its definitely fine! My priest knows me well so knows when I miss mass. He's never mentioned it!

And yes its disgusting that people have come on to ridicule you. I'd love to know if they go on posts about other religions!!!

If you are anti-religion don't post. To suggest Christian practice is ridiculous

Um...we can post if we want? Some of us are concerned about the negative affect that religion can have on mental health and self-image.

And to be fair, many parts of Christian practice are a bit ridiculous.....all these rules that men made up, not God.

The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath. Remember that. You could ask your priest and he'll probably say much the same. The sacrament of reconciliation is there to help and guide us, not put fear into us. You'll be fine.

@isittheholidaysyet thank you so much , your post has brought tears to my eyes. I will be doing as you said and hope He shows me the way, however difficult that is.

NewYearsRevolution2020, I am committing the mortal sin of adultery, knowing how wrong it is. I’ve looked down my nose and judged many a person who has done the same ( not very Christian of me) and now I’m in the same situation. My affair partner is also married, but we are deeply in love.

As I said I just hope that God can help me make sense of it all. He has never failed me before.

@twlightpeace I notice if you comment on a religious post, it's mostly posts about Catholicism. Would you go on a post about Islam, Hinduism etc to say the same? I doubt it.

The Catholic Church isn’t without its flaws, but it’s hardly some secretive little cult. Things appear to be changing within it, albeit slowly, so I can see why OP and others might not know what is the acceptable form of doing things now.

My catholic colleague wouldn't take communion without confession. Plenty of people would though. You need to reconcile this yourself. Or ask your priest.

mintich

I absolutely would. But how often are there post about Islam or Hinduism on here? From people panicking about not following the rules properly?

@Tempnamelady I have been in your situation but on the receiving end when my husband had an affair. As I’m Catholic I knew that remarriage wouldn’t be an option even if we got divorced. I asked for a miracle and I got one. DH ditched the slag, we went to Retrouvaille (google it, Catholic marriage recovery programme) and we patched things up. Ten years on we are happy and committed.

You made vows. You are linked for life. A friend of mine whose parents are divorced told me that every single family occasion is awkward after divorce. Does the new partner get invited to the latest family wedding/party, will the divorced parents row, etc. Think about it.

I do understand that marriage is hard work at times, and that we can feel many emotions towards our spouse from indifference to rage to disgust... it’s normal and you can get over all these things. One of the retrouvaille sayings is “Love is a decision” and I’ve found that to be true.

Good luck.

@Tempnamelady
Because someone has used the word ‘reconcile’ and I think it is very apt.

Are you looking to keep this affair and God’s love, in some way? Because I think you are the one judging yourself here and no amount of adherence to rules and rituals will stop you punishing yourself this way. You have, I think, a conflict of interests - the real, here and now, physical love vs emotional self love.

When I encounter these situations I ask myself this: Am I so special that the laws of the human heart and mind do not apply to me? Every time, I discover that there is some part of me deep down that thought yes, I was unique or special. I’m not and neither is anyone else.

Because the answer to all your anguish is in your hands.

Food for thought.

(Also agree with @isit’s advice - in your situation I would pray for strength to do the right thing without focusing on the outcome. I originally thought to say ‘courage’ but you have that , in buckets. You have said what is going on, truthfully. You are nearly there, OP x

Hiya OP, care of an infant is down as being a valid reason to miss Mass.

I'm surprised to be honest, people still live like this, following the rules so religiously, no pun intended. I grew up catholic, although I am now agnostic, and I was educated in a convent, with mass every morning, and the arch bishop often leading it, and no one would have said you can't have communion and you've created a mortal sin if anyone had missed, no one. And I was with some very elderly nuns who knew their stuff and some senior church members.

In my views it's this form of zealot that turns people against religion. The lack of understanding of intent, the lack of understanding of the spirit of it and the heavy focus on "the rules".

Op you're fine. No priest would tell you otherwise. You have not created a mortal sin. You are not going to hell.

After a long period away from the Church, I think it's understandable to feel the need to tread carefully for a while, and having made a conscious decision to go back it makes sense to enter into it fully and wholeheartedly . I also understand the lovely feeling of lightness and (for want of a better word) balance that comes after Confession/Reconciliation).

I wonder if part of the problem is that OP didn't really want to go? When my kids were small and I had to stay home with them rather than go to Mass, I found it quite conflicting, because I was kind of glad of the excuse, and I felt like that would somehow negate the exemption.

I've found this thread very interesting actually. I live in Austria and our priests are very definitely much more liberal than what I am hearing from some posters on this thread. I've been here over a decade now and when I was in the UK, in the parishes I was in, all talk of mortal and venial sin, hell and purgatory had died out.
Transubstantiation was glossed over too.

I'm amazed by the poster who said that her DC, preparing for First Holy Communion, had been learning about mortal and venial sin. I'd be interested in where this was. I taught for several years in Catholic primary schools and nothing like this came up during the FHC preparations at all. In fact there were complaints that children weren't being told about the consecration and that they receive the Body and Blood of Christ. One school I was in was talking about "being with Jesus in a special way" - without elaborating on that.
Children were not taught about fasting before Holy Communion either.

The only Catholics I knew back then and know now were those involved with the tridentine rite which I mentioned upthread.

I'm wondering if there's been more of a move back towards the traditional teachings since I left.

Oops... missing part of the sentence

The only Catholics I knew back then and know now who openly discussed things like this, including the Sunday Mass obligation, were those involved with the tridentine rite which I mentioned upthread.

I honestly can't see how Catholicism, a religion that spends a lot of time convincing its "worshippers" that they are wrong, sinful, need to confess and need to be "saved", could contribute to a healthy state of mind for someone who already has self loathing issues.

I honestly think the world would be a happier place if religion wasn't in it. Life is hard enough without worrying about where you're going (spoiler: nowhere) when you die.

@helberg my north west Catholic school is very light on discussions about sin. First confession was a friendly chat with the priest about things theyd done wrong and they all drew an "Im sorry" picture of e.g. fighting with a sibling. Focusing on 'being kind etc" not mentioning sin. No mention of don't miss mass between confession and communion (our old priest used to say that and people hated it!).

Im not going to make him go back to confession and I hope school do something for lent (likely).

I'm Catholic, went every Sunday as a child then stopped going when I was about 15.
I started going again when I was in my mid 20s, I was going through some personal problems and found that I got a great deal of comfort from Mass, as well as trusting in God that things would improve (which they did greatly.)
I do occasionally miss attending - when I'm on holiday, or when the children are poorly.
I still go to Communion though the following time I'm at church, I ask for forgiveness in a short silent prayer.

Confession is great BTW. DH is Jewish and he had so many misconceptions about it.
I always feel emotional afterwards - think it's the relief of unburdening and starting again with a clean slate.

Good luck op. Follow your conscience and try not to worry.

We’re in the south east of the UK helberg.

Thanks.
Do you know which religious education scheme they use in schools?
We had Here I Am (in the NE) and this was very "wishy washy" about doctrine.

I don't know about schools but in the parish they are using "Faith and Life" which is an American programme. www.ignatius.com/promotions/faithandlife/

helberg

We are in the east of England.
Yes I think things are moving back towards the more traditional teachings, but it's not a 'top down' initiative, it's not coming from the bishops and priests. It's a bottom up movement from normal ordinary Catholics, who are rediscovering the stuff no-one ever taught them. (Internet and social media has a massive part to play in this)

Schools: I think Here I Am scheme has basically gone. Round here they use Come and See, not sure if that's a norm nationally. It's a slight improvement on Here I Am, but not by much.