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Original poster

To ask catholics if I have committed a mortal sin?

178 replies

CreamPleease · 10/01/2020 19:22

A few months ago, I started going to church again after years of not going. I did a huge list of all the sins I could remember which took place in the last 15 or so years (since my last confession). I went to confession and then went to mass the following day and have been to mass every sunday since.

Last weekend, I was away from home for an event (Thursday to Sunday morning) and subsequently missed mass. My plan was initially to go on the Sunday evening but I spoke to one of my DC on the Saturday and told her I’d be going to church on Sunday night but she didn’t want me to go on Sunday night as she was really missing me and wanted me to put her to bed.

In all honesty, I had time to then attend the Saturday evening mass in the town I was staying in but I was staying with family and I just wanted to enjoy the evening with them.

I was going to be going to confession tomorrow night before going to church on Sunday but DH now has to work so I have no one to watch my DD’s.

Can I take communion on Sunday or is it best I just have a blessing and go to confession the following weekend?

Thanks.

OP posts:
SillyUnMurphy · 10/01/2020 19:34

I’ve done confession once in my life (at my holy communion) and I take communion every Sunday Mass. I think you’ll be fine

TheSquitz · 10/01/2020 19:35

I go to Mass and receive Communion every week but only go to Confession twice a year during Advent and Lent. You should definitely receive Communion on Sunday.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 10/01/2020 19:35

Can you still buy indulgences or did they get papped out with the reformation?

Think that would be a far easier way forward.

Original poster
CreamPleease · 10/01/2020 19:36

Just out of interest, how long did it take in the confessional box, going through those 15 years’- worth of sins?

I’ve been through some really difficult things in my life and consequently made many mistakes. I sat for some time with a lovely priest who listened and did not judge at all. I am using this as a way to help myself to heal from some of the trauma of what I’ve been through.

I know some of you are laughing at my post and you’re totally entitled to do so. I’m just trying to better myself and better my life. Rather than self destruct because of the overwhelming self hatred I have felt, I am trying to give myself the opportunity to have a fresh start and to live a better way.

OP posts:
Summercamping · 10/01/2020 19:36

I would talk to your priest for advice about this, they're in the best position. A lot of them are more easy going about mass attendance that they used to be so I wouldn't stress too much about it. It certainly isn't a mortal sin in any case.

Disclaimer: lapsed Catholic here

Yarboosucks · 10/01/2020 19:38

Where does the mortal sin come into this question? Did you kill your adulterous lover whilst gazing longingly at your neighbour's ass in the interim?

PumpkinPie2016 · 10/01/2020 19:39

I'm not a catholic so have no clue as to when/whether you can take communion or not.

However, I do wonder if everything is ok for you generally? I ask because it seems to be bothering you a great deal - modern life is busy, stuff comes up which means our plans sometimes just have to change. Ideally, most of us accept that and just continue on with things.

I'm genuinely not being nasty, just saying it as I see it.

Fluffycloudland77 · 10/01/2020 19:40

I’m also worried if your ok, a forgiving god won’t hold this against you.

nakedavengeragain · 10/01/2020 19:41

Just looked it up and not attending mass is considered a 'mortal sin' alongside e.g murder.

Well done Catholics. Excellent cult tactics.

Allofme1 · 10/01/2020 19:43

In all honesty (not trying to be rude or smart); I think you need to see your GP. I'm also Catholic, we have a shared set of beliefs and norms, however, what you are feeling is not normal.

Your intention is good, you shouldn't feel guilty or obsessive. Religion should enrich your life.

Please get some help.

KenzoBaby · 10/01/2020 19:44

Why don't you just confess your sins to God instead of to a priest. Cut out the middle man? He will forgive you.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 10/01/2020 19:46

Just say a good act of contrition and take communion.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to do things properly, but there is also no need to beat yourself up over it. Oh, and Vigil Mass is your friend!

53rdWay · 10/01/2020 19:46

What Allofme1 said.

And talk to your priest (if you have a decent priest, talk to another priest if not) if it’ll help you feel better about your obligations. But you shouldn’t be feeling like this.

Yarboosucks · 10/01/2020 19:47

Living life well is far more important than following dogma and rules. Putting your child to bed is far more important and better than going to a church service. Any religion or religious leader that would disagree with that is to be avoided.

Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and enjoy your DC and remember we all make mistakes, just learn from them and improve.

Vic49 · 10/01/2020 19:47

Really really sorry but misread the title as ' cataholic' ... facepalm ...

Saucery · 10/01/2020 19:47

It wouldn’t be an issue at my local Catholic church. I would do what a pp said and talk to your priest about it.
I understand that you want to do the right thing on this path you have decided to take and wish you all the best Flowers

MaintainTheMolehill · 10/01/2020 19:48

I asked my priest this and basically the Catholic Church has relaxed this 'rule'. I am Catholic but I refuse to go to confession. My sins are between me and God and I don't need a middle man to talk to him. As for missing mass, even the bible quotes Jesus as saying something along the lines of "where two or more gather and say my name then I am there".

I do always say an act of contrition before communion for any sins but that's usually while I'm in the queue waiting for communion Halo

Please don't beat yourself up OP. if you've made positive changes to your life then that's great.

JKScot4 · 10/01/2020 19:48

Burny fire is this way for you sinners ➡️🔥

implantsandaDyson · 10/01/2020 19:48

Honestly it'll not matter that you've missed mass previously and want to get Communion, don't panic about getting to Confession. I haven't been to Confession in over thirty years but still like a rattle around mass every few weeks.

Confession was never something I got a lot out of it but my mum went back to Confession about ten years ago after a really hard time. She found herself talking things over with a really nice priest who really helped her, so I understand that you've experienced the same. Even she misses mass occasionally and just picks it up without Confession inbetween. If you want to get to mass and get Communion go ahead.

Original poster
CreamPleease · 10/01/2020 19:48

I don’t feel hugely guilty or obsessive over this. My plan had been to go to confession but that’s now not an option so I just wanted to know if I should just have a blessing instead. I am totally fine with doing so until I can go to confession. Religion does enrich my life. It has been a massive help to me through some really hard times.

OP posts:
dianebrewster · 10/01/2020 19:49

missing mass is not a mortal sin. All kinds of strange things are, technically, mortal sins (masturbation anyone?) bot missing mass in order to tend to your kids / family is definitely not one of them.

I used to teach RE in catholic schools and have a degree in theology.

Bloatstoat · 10/01/2020 19:51

@CreamPleease at absolute worst, this would be a classed as a venial sin (something that may weaken your relationship with God, but isn't really serious). Technically, you can receive communion having commited actual sin, as long as it's a venial sin and not a mortal sin.
At the bottom of the rules around the sacraments should be you and your relationship with God. The sacrament of confession is a wonderful gift, I always think, because it gives us an opportunity to have God's forgiveness confirmed to us - we often judge ourselves more harshly and find it hard to forgive ourselves. I missed mass last Sunday as I wasn't well, I'll be going this week (hopefully!) and receiving communion without going to confession, and I'm sure I won't be the only one. But if you feel happier and it would worry you less to receive a blessing and go to confession before your next communion, that is fine too. It's your relationship with God that matters.
I wish you every blessing in your return to your faith, pray for me as I will for you.

Noflora · 10/01/2020 19:51

I am so long lapsed I can't remember my last confession. It certainly used to be the case that you needed to have confessed to receive communion but when I was driving my dying dad to church during his last months I learned that confession in his church was held straight after mass so communion was fine beforehind. His priest stated this explicitly. And my dad would never have attended a modern-thinking church, his preference would still have been all in Latin so I take it even the Pope approves of communion without being in a full state of grace.

Oldishusernewname · 10/01/2020 19:51

Sorry OP I really don't think Catholicism is the answer to your problems right now. Maybe a good counsellor would be a better idea?

scunner · 10/01/2020 19:52

Blessing then confession. Then discuss with priest while at confession.