Any Witches Here? Part 6

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.

A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration

All welcome.

Single card drawn for tonight's date, don't think it can get more promising than that!!

Hi all- I am a spiritual person. Generally I am a very pleasant, helping and caring person. But for some reason I seem to attract the opposite of what I am. I fail to understand why I can't attract people like me. It makes me upset and would like this to change.

I am not sure about how the witch things works but I would really like to know more. Know how to make things more positive.

Any help will be greatly appreciated

Hello again everyone I found you all again!

Been missing for awhile because I have a huge double audit (produce not tax thankfully) coming up on 14th Feb and I'm snowed under preparing.

Been catching up on your posts (love the impromptu candle connection) it was too foggy here to see the moon however I did try to collect some moon water overnight so hopefully it wasn't foggy all night!

The previous posts about the kinds of people and energy we attract and the implications have huge resonance for me too, I am currently also working hard to change things.

Looking forward to imbolc too

There is certainly a different feel to the energy today. Speakout that purple sky sounded beautiful. It was more red here. Lovely sunrise too.

Beyond good luck with your date tonight. Sounds like things are going in the right direction.

Queenrollo thinking of you. I'm separated from my DC Dad too. I know how hard it is when they're not with you for special occasions. Sending love ❤️

Isbadluckathing welcome to the thread 🙏 We were talking about attracting the right type of people and how to set boundaries to keep the wrong types away just the other day. Have a scroll back through the thread, you might find it useful.

Hello, is there room around the aga for a novice? I'm gently developing my interests in spirituality, psychology, cooking, gardening and crafting. I'm very new to the idea of being a witch, but so much I've read resonates with me. I'm planning to celebrate the Sabbats this year and am looking forward to seeing where the journey takes me.

Good afternoon.

Welcome IsBadLuckaThing - one thing strikes me immediately; your username. Is this how you often label yourself? Like attracts like in the magical world but the universe also doesn't seem pay a lot of attention at time to fine details so is probably seeing "bad luck". I was therefore taught to always frame things in a positive fashion. Maybe as simple a thing of changing some usernames might be a start?

Hello SCST01

Violet Charlotte- Thank you for the reply 🙏.

Elphane- Thank you for your response 🙏I have started doing positive affirmations but it's not going too well. Is there anything else that I can do? I would really appreciate any help.
Tried changing the name but won't let me change as I forgot the password 😂😂 Will try agin.

Hello Elphame 😊

@IsBadLuckaThing I know exactly what you mean. I always find myself to be the helper, the listening ear and the one who goes the extra mile but this means I seem to attract very complicated friends with lots of issues and few laughs. I long to have some silly friends that you could just go out with an laugh with rather than always listening to their problems. But a witchy friend of mine once told me that people are drawn to my light like moths to a flame, those who need help are happy to stay and hover, but those who don't need help just fly away. It does make life hard sometimes, especially when I need help and it doesn't come!

Frosty - you could be describing me. It's very draining, isn't it?

Yes it is. I meet one friend every week for coffee and the majority of the time she moans! My daughter who's 11 is exactly like me though and attracts needy friends even at her age!

Frosty- I find my self in very similar situations all the time. I just fail to comprehend,that how can some people be not nice and still have loads of friends? While some other like me, who try their best to contribute to a relationship in all ways they can struggle.

Is being too nice a thing? I feel a sense of relief while I am typing this because I can't talk to any one about stuff like this in my day to day life.
I have set boundaries and don't hesitate from reaffirming them.

SCST01 welcome, there's always room around the Aga, grab a chair or a cushion and help yourself to a brew.

IsBadLuckaThing I thought exactly the same as Elphame, you need to change your username. If you've forgotten your login, MNHQ can help. [email protected] or report one of your own posts as not spam and ask how to reset your pw when you cannot enter it to confirm.

Also don't focus on what you don't want, the 'don't' or other negative tends to be ignored by the subconscious, so you end up getting what you don't want.

It's an interesting exercise to list the things you don't want or generally the things you express negatively, then reframe the thought to attract a positive attribute.
It's also quite a bit more difficult than it sounds until you get used to doing it.

I have often been described as "too nice". I used to think people meant that they thought I was nice, but more recently I suspect they see me as a bit weak and perhaps unboundaried. I did some counselling sessions a couple of years ago which uncovered the fact that, due to childhood trauma situations, I do tend to have a pattern of quietly tolerating situations that others would be more likely to put a stop to much sooner, which does chime a bit with the boundaries thing. I can't bear to be hard faced with people, mostly because I don't want them to feel rejected. Maybe it looks like weakness and a fear of people not liking me, but it does hurt me to hurt other people, especially when they seem vulnerable.

Interestingly, the same series of counselling lead me to heal my younger self in the way that was mentioned earlier in the thread - I was going to write a letter to my abuser, but when it came to it I wrote to my younger self to tell her how she was brave and did the right thing and that she was stronger than her abuser. I can't tell you how much positive difference it has made to older me!

@SCST01 I hear you - your situation mirrors mine and I have the same issues. I think on trying to please everyone and avoiding conflict we appear less authentic. Being authentic though is extremely hard!

Thank you BlankTimes, I'm settled nicely with a cuppa 😁

FrostyApples, maybe not everyone does like conflict, I genuinely much prefer harmony and find even minor conflict draining. I do need to build up my boundaries and find ways I'm comfortable with to assert them though !

Sorry if your situation is similar to mine childhood wise FrostyApples, hopefully you just mean the "too nice" adult part xx

@SCST01 sadly all of it. Hence why I hate conflict now and try to live a quiet life!

Oh, FrostyApples, I'm so sorry. I hope you're at peace with what happened to younger you. The world needs some of us less confrontational, strong tolerant types. Strength, peace and understanding to you x

@SCST01 thank you. Yes I am at peace now with it. When my first child was born many years ago I completed a ritual on the sea shore. I have my old life away and cast it into the sea and filled my new self with all things good and loving. I dipped a scarf in the sea water and if ever I need a reminder of how far I've come I wear my scarf.

I am in too minds about the "nice" thing.

I don't view myself as "nice".
I do care for people and value others, but I admire honesty and integrity, I don't mind conflict and will prefer to resolve issues rather than accept bad behaviour.

I have a "nice" mother- terrified of conflict, will subjegate herself for others, and often gets treated like a doormat.
She is a people pleaser and relies on othersa great deal for her own self validation.
Inside she has a lot of simmering resentment and can be passive agressive.
She subdues herself because "keeping the peace" is paramount to her.
I don't operate like that.
I suspect some people see me as a spiky outspoken woman, I speak up and say it like it is.
I don't harbour bad feeling, I care deeply, but I don't much like flannel

But then I admire strength, cyniciism and irony.

Hello, just wanting to say that those posts at start of the thread about how we view ourselves and others, especially the one by YashmisCrone really were eye opening for me - thank you, really got me thinking

I havent posted on these threads before but keep being drawn to read them. My Nan (Dad's mum) considered herself a witch, she really did introduce us to a lot of magic when we were younger. I've been unable to really express myself or know what to do as my Nan developed dementia before she could truly pass anything on to me, as I grew up I did start to drift away from it all but I find myself now drawn back to it.

Interesting talk about Imbolc, our friends' wedding shall fall then. I actually always find I do a clear out at the end of January so I wonder if I am subconsciously getting ready for Imbolc.

That sounds like a beautiful ritual FrostyApples.

SpeakOut, I know what you mean - I don't like passive aggressiveness either and I take care not to let resentment build up within myself. I didn't mean to suggest that more boundaried/assertive people were less caring, I hope it didn't come across like that.

@speakout

I think it can be very difficult to have a mother/daughter dynamic like this. Mine is very similar and it leaves me unable to relate to my mother and vice versa. She considers me unfeminine and threatening. Our exchanges are often fraught with passive agressive/wounded and upset dynamics. It's like trying to communicate with someone from another planet.

I think that our mothers suffer from being brought up in another generation when a woman judged her 'womanliness' by her ability to people please/keep the peace/not speak up/not tell the truth.
Looking at my maternal ancestral line, it is full of strong women who felt powerless and this was expressed in a passive aggressive way . My grandmother was like this, and my mother is too.

Conflict was dangerous for a woman because if hubby became dissatisfied or was challenged, she might be abandoned without resources and be shamed in society. Very sad really.