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Original poster

My daughter is a Wiccan

237 replies

Nonicknamesleft · 06/08/2018 20:40

Just spent some upsetting minutes looking on a few AIBU chats about religion. My shoulders should be broader but I still hate the way Christianity is talked about: it's blasphemous and rude imo. Anyway, so glad to have found this area. Now to the subject of this post:

My eldest of 3 is a girl, almost 12, just going into Y8 at (a CofE) sec school. She is a bright Asperger, prone to the customary obsessive passions typical of the condition.

About a year ago, we wandered into our local park to find Pagan Pride in full swing. I was with other members of my family besides the children, and not wanting to spoil the outing, allowed them all to wander around and look at the crystals, hippie clothes and expensive witchy acoutrements. So natch, dd is now a declared pagan, wearing pentagram necklaces, spending birthday money on runes etc etc. As we walked to this year's PP event yesterday, she told me that she'd never really believed in God but kept quiet to avoid upsetting me. Tbh I don't fully believe her about that but not much point arguing - what do I know?

My current position is generally to be accommodating and as respectful as poss, try to moderate my inclination to argue that it's at best silly and at worst a tiny bit evil. I know I'm being very prejudiced against it because of all the crusty trappings, and I wouldn't dream of being so sniffy about another 'proper' non-Abrahamic faith eg Buddhism.

I'd welcome advice about how to feel and how to play this. I want to just trust that God is on it and will get to the girl in his own sweet time, knowing that she's the sort of person who, if she gets God at all will get him big-time..... but I'm also more than a bit anxious that the current thing will stick.

In theory I'm a great believer in religious autonomy (eg I was raised RC but left it for the CofE) for the young, but am finding it harder to honour in practice. Fwiw she's ace at RE at school, and extremely respectful of other faiths. She deals politely with the rather hard-line Christian peers she has at school who aren't very nice to her about her beliefs. Being autistic, it wouldn't occur to her to be anything other than completely honest about her views, however unpolitic.

So, dear hive, please share your wisdom xx

OP posts:

ILoveDolly · 07/08/2018 16:19

She doesn't really need a cauldron, as an 11 year old she shouldn't be burning stuff and making messes of potions or whatever. I was Wiccan for many years as a teen and young adult and never found the need for an actual cauldron. Or ceremonial knife. Or pentagram necklaces. I'm sure this all seems rather exciting and different for her and probably your dissatisfaction with it only enhances the thrill. I would encourage you to look into the really spiritual parts of the religion, I found that a deep connection to our earth and natural world strangely led me on a path where I have now become far more involved in Christianity and not pagan religion. In fact I entered into a relationship with God as a result of some fantastic spiritual experiences mediated through my Wicca practices. Paths of Faith are really interesting and we all need to go on our own journey. Her journey will probably always be somewhat intense because of who she is, but she needs your guidance rather than disapproval as I'm sure you see.

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:21

It's common practice within Wiccan to not use spells for evil but for good (I'm sure you've heard of "the power of 3?

How can you with absolute certainty tell whether an outcome of your intent will be beneficial or not? Beneficial to whom? With prayer a person can defer to their God, whom they trust in - so there are no regrets.

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:24

Hihello I'm sorry but your post doesn't make any sense to me? (Not mocking you, it genuinely doesn't.)

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:28

Christians can believe what they like because that's their belief. It's not my belief and that's ok because we all believe in different things.

Asking the universe for bad things to happen to people isn't something I would ever do because I believe it will come back on me X 3.

Lots of people, with or without religion believe in Karma, it's a similar concept.

Never wish for evil. Satan isn't something that is recognised within Wiccan/pagan because that's a Christian belief not a Wiccan one.

BroomstickOfLove · 07/08/2018 16:28

Pretty much everything that ILoveDolly said.

Hont1986 · 07/08/2018 16:28

She doesn't really need a cauldron

nobody needs a cauldron...

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:30

For example, Like, one of the people I was talking about had a problem with a woman bullying her at work at a time when she was trying to support her terminally ill relative. She cast a spell asking that the woman who bullied her understood and empathised with her better. Later on that woman who bullied her gave birth to a child with severe health problems. I think most people could understand the fear and guilt that resulted from this.

So, this is what I mean concerning question how you can be sure of your intentions. With prayer God grants the prayer and only if it is His will. Christians believe in the goodness of God which removes the problem I have outlined above.

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:30

Also many people already do Wiccan/pagan practices without realising

speakout · 07/08/2018 16:33

Also many people already do Wiccan/pagan practices without realising

Yes, like blowing out birthday candles, like giving offerings of milk and biscuits on the hearth to old forest gods..........

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:34

I believe we define our own practices. I don't practice Wicca or witchcraft, I have dedicated my own religious practice to God.

BroomstickOfLove · 07/08/2018 16:34

But if she'd prayed to God as a Christian, would she not have felt the same? Or would she have just have concede and been absolved. I have to admit that confession and absolution is definitely one of my favourite things about Christianity.

BroomstickOfLove · 07/08/2018 16:37

Confessed! My phone is just a huge mess of predictive text disasterousness and everything I write comes out wrong.

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:37

But if she'd prayed to God as a Christian, would she not have felt the same?

No. She probably would not have believed any suffering was the result of her prayer as Christians believe in the goodness of God.

PatriarchyPersonified · 07/08/2018 16:38

Lurked for the last few hours, but can't actually believe what I reading.

OP, you know magic isn't real, right?

If she wants to play around with cauldrons and magic runes then fine, i wouldn't be a fan of that either, but to be honest, there are a lot worse things she could even doing.

And I wouldn't be worried about it because I think she is actually going to cast magic spells ...(!) I'd be worried that she will believe in it and make herself a weird outcast from her peers.

Original poster

Nonicknamesleft · 07/08/2018 16:40

Speakout, you've misunderstood me. I clearly don't understand the rules of MN talk. I wasn't looking for a debate. I didn't mean to throw down any gauntlet. I thought by starting a thread in the religion corner about a parenting problem to do with religion, I was ok. Evidently this is not the right place to have done so; I genuinely didn't realise that it was a place for free religious debate. Not that I have any problem with that per se, I just wanted a good bit of parenting advice from others that I incorrectly thought would understand where I was coming from. Although some people have been able to do that anyway, for which I'm grateful. None of the threads, as far as I can see, have warnings at the point of entry, to advise people that they can expect to be castigated for their honesty, and likewise, none offer assurances that they won't be.

After many of the responses I've read here, there is no way I'll be posting in Any Witches Here - that would be madness. I may have a go in one of the really obviously Christian ones but I had hoped for a broader range of responses. I can honestly say amongst the few Christian friends I've discussd this with, I've come across vastly more open minds than many of those I've inadvertently called upon here.

Re my "God is on it" hope; again, well yes? I guess you know as little about what Christians believe as I do pagans, or witches, or whoever it is I'm talking about.

Anyway, I repeat, to the many Christians, atheists, pagans and wiccans who have tried to add something constructive, thank you.

OP posts:

Hont1986 · 07/08/2018 16:40

"Wicca" has only been around for about 50 years, it's all made up. Of course, all the rest are made up too so what's the difference really?

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:40

Do you mean when Christians pray to god they are praying for good and because god is good he will only grant it if it's a kind prayer for someone and if wiccans ask the Universe for something they don't know who's granting it so good and bad could happen to those people?

My belief is to never wish evil because it will come back on you x 3. So if someone was wishing bad on someone they will get that back on themselves because that's the way of the Universe. If your intentions are bad it will come back on you (some call it Karma.)

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:41

And I wouldn't be worried about it because I think she is actually going to cast magic spells ...(!) I'd be worried that she will believe in it and make herself a weird outcast from her peers.

The belief and development of intent, I feel, is deeply psychologically powerful which creates its own kind of 'magic'.

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:43

Yes, partly. Mainly I believe that we need to defer to God as we cannot extrapolate all the outcomes of our intentions. Whether we believe them then be good or not. I believe God knows everything so knows whether it is right to grant a prayer.

BroomstickOfLove · 07/08/2018 16:45

I'm not raising my children as pagans, but if I were, my 11 year old wouldn't be getting a cauldron and doing spells. She'd be baking bread, picking berries, learning about the moon's phases and the cycle of the year, practising meditation, keeping a diary, going on nature walks, reading myths, doing local conservation work and learning how to set up and maintain a nice altar with seasonally appropriate offerings.

It's not dissimilar to being high church CofE, really, but with more outdoorsy stuff and less dressing up.

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:45

Hont Wiccan is based on ancient beliefs and practices dating back centuries. Practicing witchcraft was illegal up until around 1951 hence why the craft was always hidden away until then.

PatriarchyPersonified · 07/08/2018 16:45

Hihello i'll accept that a persons beliefs can have a profound effect on themselves, often if extreme ways. If you want to call that 'magic', then fine.

But to try and suggest that what a person believes can have an actual, physical effect on the material world, is frankly bollocks.

hihello · 07/08/2018 16:48

But to try and suggest that what a person believes can have an actual, physical effect on the material world, is frankly bollocks.

But people can have an actual physical effect on the material world. So their psychological state and how this is affected by their beliefs matters.

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:48

I believe the Universe knows everything and if you wish for evil on people then that will come back on you. It's especially very similar in that way only Christians believe God is like a filter for bad things because wished upon others. The Universe just says screw that, you can have it back on you too!

LikeIDo1 · 07/08/2018 16:48

Essentially not especially

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