My daughter is a Wiccan

[Nonicknamesleft]

Just spent some upsetting minutes looking on a few AIBU chats about religion. My shoulders should be broader but I still hate the way Christianity is talked about: it's blasphemous and rude imo. Anyway, so glad to have found this area. Now to the subject of this post:

My eldest of 3 is a girl, almost 12, just going into Y8 at (a CofE) sec school. She is a bright Asperger, prone to the customary obsessive passions typical of the condition.

About a year ago, we wandered into our local park to find Pagan Pride in full swing. I was with other members of my family besides the children, and not wanting to spoil the outing, allowed them all to wander around and look at the crystals, hippie clothes and expensive witchy acoutrements. So natch, dd is now a declared pagan, wearing pentagram necklaces, spending birthday money on runes etc etc. As we walked to this year's PP event yesterday, she told me that she'd never really believed in God but kept quiet to avoid upsetting me. Tbh I don't fully believe her about that but not much point arguing - what do I know?

My current position is generally to be accommodating and as respectful as poss, try to moderate my inclination to argue that it's at best silly and at worst a tiny bit evil. I know I'm being very prejudiced against it because of all the crusty trappings, and I wouldn't dream of being so sniffy about another 'proper' non-Abrahamic faith eg Buddhism.

I'd welcome advice about how to feel and how to play this. I want to just trust that God is on it and will get to the girl in his own sweet time, knowing that she's the sort of person who, if she gets God at all will get him big-time..... but I'm also more than a bit anxious that the current thing will stick.

In theory I'm a great believer in religious autonomy (eg I was raised RC but left it for the CofE) for the young, but am finding it harder to honour in practice. Fwiw she's ace at RE at school, and extremely respectful of other faiths. She deals politely with the rather hard-line Christian peers she has at school who aren't very nice to her about her beliefs. Being autistic, it wouldn't occur to her to be anything other than completely honest about her views, however unpolitic.

So, dear hive, please share your wisdom xx

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/why-women-are-gathering-in-red-tents-across-the-uk/

Getting your daughter and yourself involved in the red tent movement might be a good way of fulfilling this spirituality seeking side of her OP. It’s very grounding, woman only and friendly. With its focus on the lunar month and it’s phases, slightly hippyish commune type feel it could let her feel alternative and kooky and also nourish the need for some other source of bonding/spirituality.

How ironic that you are so against Christianity being mocked or made light of in any way, while happily mocking and calling another religion 'evil' in the same post.

That is the cognitive dissonance of religion in a nutshell, right there.

Greenheart

isn't easy to work out what the different paths are. There are some very odd people out there and not all of them are benign.

Some very good points and shows comments like isn’t your 11 year old daughter lucky to have found “her people” are not in fact good advice.

Paganism does cover a multitude of areas... very broad and encompasses many thoughts, and some do worship darker things, like sex magic.

Would the poster on here endorsing her daughter finding “her people” think it a good idea for her 11 year old child to find such people online.... I hope not!

Missymoo

Are you implying that an 11 year old is at a higher risk of sexual abuse from Pagans than from Christians?! I'd probably be very careful making statements like that.

I'd be concerned with an 11 year old girl hanging round any religious group on her own, Christians included

Red tents were a biblical concept which I find quite interesting how it’s now coming up again.
In fact things like tarot cards have biblical themes behind them mixed up with occultic and mystical themes- look up the “lovers card” and you will see they’re often depicted as Adam and Eve.

It’s less established, at least in churches now they have safeguarding in place but how can you regulate various small pagan groups that are less well established

Nice to see that pagans are, as usual, being accused of being perverts and deviants and a danger to children.

Oh please! Stop acting so offended. Apparently it’s perfectly ok to criticise religion so don’t expect an exception for paganism.
What’s at issue here is that it’s not sensible to let an 11 year old go off and find her people- especially when you don’t fully understand what she would be getting into or who she would be meeting. This is common sense.

Missymoo I think you have significantly misunderstood how this works. It's perfectly acceptable to criticise a religion, as long as what you are saying is true.

You seem to think that some general assertions that paganism is 'less centralised' than Christianity means that it's acceptable to imply that Pagans are child sex offenders.

Oh dear.

The monotheistic religions teachings on witchcraft are for beyond the remit of the rich industrialised west. it’s not just the paganism of Europe that exists with its cutesy Wicca. in Africa witchcraft is scary, powerful, not in its effectiveness but in its hold over people. albinos are killed in many sub Saharan countries for their body parts to be used in spells by so called witches/sorcerers. This is happening in the 21st century. Their body parts are prized in good luck charms for miners and politicians who hold to the pre monotheistic religions. They often have to live together for protection or in lucky cases get police protection but still their bodies are found on the streets with limbs, heads etc missing. Hunchbacks, the one eyed, anyone with unusual appearance can fear to be kidnapped by people trading for parts for fortune spells. laws are made against that trade but in poor countries with grinding poverty and desperation the susceptibility Of people to powerful life changing fake ‘magic’ is hard to fight. How to protect these people in the remote bush or even in the city when the streetlights are off, no police, no cctv?

Good for her.

Paganism is a feminist religion centred on nature, self care, doing good and embracing womanhood.

Much healthier than Christianity.

Please tell her I said bright blessings :)

There's a difference between Paganism and Wicca. I have recently been exploring Wicca, and have found it to be the only religion that really resonates with me. Please don't spew witchcraft mumbojumbo, it's an incredibly peaceful religion about respecting the earth and everything on it.

Missfatty excellent post- people are naive here and thing all paganism is harmful nature worship, tea leaves and everything’s always fine and dandy.

Patriarchy- there’s no “oh dear” about it. It’s not an established religion, there are various different sects and belief systems. I would be careful as a parent what my children were getting involved with. Her daughter is an 11 year old CHILD for goodness sake. When she’s an adult then she can go off and do what she wants, but for now her mums her guardian.

Well there’s you go OP you can talk about the biblical roots of the red tent concept. It’s got a very benign spirituality but it’s attraction is in the honouring of being female, menses not as a curse but as something special, love of one’s womb, female sisterhood, and it’s a safe space to explore all that.

OP I am not very experienced in any of this, but have been reading around for a while. You do seem concerned, and whether that concern is valid or not (don't really want to comment on that), if it were me I would try to steer her in the same way as in any interest. So, here that would be asking her questions, showing non-judgemental interest, remaining open. This is so she feels able to communicate and is less likely to hide things from you - like what she is reading or thinking or planning to get up to.

Also, there are various books about Wicca on Amazon that are aimed at younger and teenage markets. If you buy some of these and glance through them you can check the content, get informed and maybe reassured. That way she has some material that she hasn't accessed herself and (particularly online) could have been written by anyone.

FWIW, I view all religions equally.

Paganism/Wicca are just as much nonsense as Christianity/Judaism/Islam. I have no loyalty to them.

I just find it deliciously ironic that the usual 'respect people's religions' posters on here are piling in to smear paganism as 'evil' and imply its full of child sex offenders.

What they actually mean by 'respect people's religions' is 'respect my religion, all others can get stuffed'.

And Missy if you recall, I said in my first post I'd be concerned with an 11 year old hanging around ANY religious group.

Nice deflection though.

I wonder what the UK Pagan Council, or the UK Pagan Federation would think of your earlier statements? Sailing very close to the legal definition of slander...

*libel.

Nah, no ones disrespecting religion.
Just saying that witchcraft can come in many forms- not all good, especially as miss fatty says you come out of your western cultural bias. so be careful what you let an 11 year old get involved with.

Slander... oh grow up patriarchy. You regularly slag off Christianity and people don’t start saying hinting at threats about “the Christian federation” would say.

What is this- thought police patrol

Atheist here. Is she actually interested & educating herself about the religion & not just interested in the aesthetic side of this, like wearing pentagram necklaces & carrying crystals?

Missymoo indeed I do, however I challenge you to find one thing I have ever said about Christianity that is factually incorrect.

Meanwhile, according to you, Pagans are more likely to be child abusers.

Nice.