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Original poster

To not want to be a Muslim

499 replies

Lostagain · 10/06/2012 22:40

Ok so I am a Muslim, have 2 dd and married dh is a convert to Islam....
Anyway from a young age I have had a strong pull towards Christianity or aspects of it. I don't believe Jesus is the son of god, but do believe he will return again etc.
Is it a cultural thing? I was born and brought up in the uk, went to a cofe school for a few years then we went to a inner city which was full of Asians- I am Asian but it was horrible, I hated it. Despite this I still sang on the school choir, certain people were horrified at the time, but my mum supported me. In my teens i went a bit religion mad and started wearing a headscarf etc- didn't last long,
i love Christmas and Easter, I sing hymms when I'm washing upHmm i've been to a few church's in my time, funerals weddings etc and to be honest it's so peaceful there.
I have been to mosques it was ok,actually I couldn't wait to get out of there....Maybe it's a language barrier
I haven't spoken to anyone about this as it is such a big thing -changed my name on mn but sometimes I just don't want to be a Muslim. I want to bring up my children with faith and I struggle to explain the Muslim faith.

I'm sure there is the odd sentence in the above which makes sense :)

OP posts:
Juule · 20/06/2012 10:11

Last post was to crescentmoon.

Nailak " It is so she has money to buy all the stuff she needs for her new home." Isn't it their new home. Wouldn't they share the cost?

crescentmoon · 20/06/2012 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Juule · 20/06/2012 11:00

Thank you for that, Crescentmoon.

laptopwieldingharpy · 20/06/2012 12:50

It feels like a paralel universe in here.
I was born and bread in a muslim country. Came to the uk late so not an immigrant strictu sensu either.
I don't believe how you pretend to be holier when in the umma women fight so bravely to get ahead and get a better life for their daughters.
What you are portraying as your life in the uk are antiquated practices that go on in far remote mountains and villages. We are ashamed of them back home.
You have absolutely no perspective. Get a grip on reality!

nailak · 20/06/2012 13:39

what are you talking about. Who said dont fight for womens rights, or to get a better life, dont work, dont get edycated etc?

How many times in this thread have I mentioned the word "consent" in reference to marriage, I also mentioned about women having their own income etc, tbh I have no idea what you are on about.

laptopwieldingharpy · 20/06/2012 13:59

Oh nailak, "consent"?its such a fallacy. Please argue in all good faith!

nailak · 20/06/2012 16:52

i disagree it is a fallacy since the woman i know who married at 13 rejected previous suitors and chose her current husband.

It is true that some cultures dont listen to the rules of Islam in regards to consent, this is irrelevant of age. I have known women in there twenties who were forced in to marriage and raped by there "husband". I would obviously not defend this, and I speak out against these things.

nailak · 20/06/2012 16:52

and i still have no idea what you are on about.

HardlyEverHoovers · 31/07/2012 23:47

Asalam u alikum OP,
I haven't managed to read all the posts since your original post, so I'm sorry if I've missed anything, but felt I really wanted to respond.
I am an English convert to Islam. I can understand your feelings, I love Islam and am so happy to be Muslim, but at times this has been 'despite the Muslims'. It can sometimes seem to foreign, and so mixed with cultures that mean nothing to me.
I can understand you being drawn to a religion that seems more 'English' as it sounds like you identify strongly with your English identity, despite your Asian background.
However, I'd be careful (that's an understatement) not to throw out the baby with the bathwater so to speak. Ultimately, following a religion is about believing it is the truth, rather than how easy you find it. You don't belive Jesus to be the son of God and you believe he will com again, these are Islamic beliefs. Perhaps you should take some time to explore Islam, and look at some converts to the faith, who you might feel more at home with. www.masud.co.uk has lots of stuff by Abdul Hakim Murad, who is an English convert, and he often talks about how Islamic values fit so well with English culture, which I really think is true. Also, if you have a service for new muslims in your area, (you could prob google it) you could make contact with them and meet Muslims who were less cultural than you might come across in other places.
I don't want to try and tell you what to do or be harsh, but please think carefully, don't throw away eternity.

Italiangreyhound · 06/08/2012 00:24

Lostagain haven't read all the thread from the start but just wanted to wish you all the best in whatever path you take.

It is a huge decision for you, I am sure.

I am a Christian, became a Christian in my teens, and would not change that decision, it was a great one. My family were not Christians but did not follow any other religion either.

I guess I would say to you what I would say to anyone who was searching, talk to God and ask him to lead you.

All best wishes.

Khalad · 24/02/2014 13:17

Some of you maybe interested in this book: Against the Grain by Khalad Hussain. It is a story of conversion from Islam to Christianity

MrsLel · 12/04/2014 04:13

This reply has been deleted

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Buckeyee · 12/04/2014 06:15

We have quite a few ex-Muslims at our church. They are happy and are growing in the Christian faith.

If you have questions about the Christian faith, I recommend Alpha.

twizzleship · 24/04/2014 03:58

i sympathise and can empathise with you OP. I, too, grew up in a muslim household and was expected to be a muslim. however, by my mid teens i knew that i never was a muslim, did not identify with being muslim and did not want to spend the rest of my life living a lie. I have always believed in a higher power and wanted to live a more spiritual way of life that reflected who i was inside.

i did go through a phase of asking myself 'well, what religion do you want to belong to then?', and after a lot of research came to the conclusion that there was no one religion that i felt was true to me. so i decided to live a spiritual life, by which i mean that i believe we are all God's children and so i treat others with the same respect and consideration (most of the time anyway as i AM human Grin ) that i want to be treated with. I believe in the angels, i believe that all the 'prophets' (that includes jesus!) were messengers from god. they were human just like us and i regard them as 'teachers' and more 'enlightened' than your average human. i believe they were sent here to pass on God's message which is Love, " I want you to know that i love you, you are my children. Love yourselves, treat yourselves with love and treat the rest of my creation with love. Live, love and be happy". As God's creation we too are His/Her messengers and it is through our actions that we pass that message on. We have been guided on how to act with love through the figures in the religious texts and also from the messengers that came after, such as Mother Theresa.

i believe god loves us all no matter what label we choose to identify ourselves with because we are His/Her children, His/Her creation. The creator that created us and all there is knows us better than we know ourselves, so the only way i can have a true relationship with my creator is to be true to myself and live the way that feels true and good to me.

i don't believe that anybody will be punished for choosing one religion over another or no religion. there is no Hell except the one we create here on earth ourselves.

CoteDAzur · 24/04/2014 08:43

Zombie thread.

twizzleship · 24/04/2014 16:08

so what?

Maisie0 · 02/05/2014 20:54

Nobody can tell you what to believe. And don't trust anyone who tries to. This decision is between you and your conscience.

I think this is the best advice that anyone has ever given to anyone else. I was also raised and born in the UK too, but I was brought up with Taoists values as well. The more I integrated with Christian values, the more I lost touch with my families, and I find myself crying over this. Despite so many people are "supportive" in my life and whom I met in my daily life. Nothing can be more hurtful, than their indirect ways to make you feel good, of which you are obliged to accept, but in doing so, you move yourself further away from your beliefs.

Having a conscience is very important imho.

Muazzam · 05/06/2025 01:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 07/06/2025 22:09

Just seen it’s a zombie thread

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 07/06/2025 22:10

Oh just seen this is a zombie thread that had been resurrected

Babybirdmum · 21/07/2025 23:25

There is a book called “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus” by Nabeel Quereshi which I recommend, he had similar questions regarding his own faith. If you search his name on YouTube first he’s brilliant. He actually died quite young of cancer but left an amazing legacy. Happy to chat further with you about things directly, I am a Christian and I am interested in other faiths and cultures.

ScrollingLeaves · 13/08/2025 18:01

Don’t forget you are welcome in any Christian church for whatever reason takes you there.

ScrollingLeaves · 13/08/2025 18:02

Oh dear! Zombie.

kim204 · 13/08/2025 18:35

ZOMBIE THREAD.

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