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Original poster

To not want to be a Muslim

499 replies

Lostagain · 10/06/2012 22:40

Ok so I am a Muslim, have 2 dd and married dh is a convert to Islam....
Anyway from a young age I have had a strong pull towards Christianity or aspects of it. I don't believe Jesus is the son of god, but do believe he will return again etc.
Is it a cultural thing? I was born and brought up in the uk, went to a cofe school for a few years then we went to a inner city which was full of Asians- I am Asian but it was horrible, I hated it. Despite this I still sang on the school choir, certain people were horrified at the time, but my mum supported me. In my teens i went a bit religion mad and started wearing a headscarf etc- didn't last long,
i love Christmas and Easter, I sing hymms when I'm washing upHmm i've been to a few church's in my time, funerals weddings etc and to be honest it's so peaceful there.
I have been to mosques it was ok,actually I couldn't wait to get out of there....Maybe it's a language barrier
I haven't spoken to anyone about this as it is such a big thing -changed my name on mn but sometimes I just don't want to be a Muslim. I want to bring up my children with faith and I struggle to explain the Muslim faith.

I'm sure there is the odd sentence in the above which makes sense :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostagain · 15/06/2012 22:23

Also people marry people who are illiterate because it's in the family, first cousins etc

OP posts:
nailak · 15/06/2012 22:27

and also illiterate people can be good people. The important things in a marriage are kindness, compassion, understanding, respect, that doesnt involve literacy.

nailak · 15/06/2012 22:27

you get "spending money" I find that a bit weird tbh.

KalSkirata · 15/06/2012 22:28

'spending money'? Far as I'm concerned its a joint account and all mine.

Mustgettogym · 15/06/2012 22:46

Re: shame. Cultural!! HonOur killings happen to Sikhs/Hindus/Muslims and it is awful. These men are so concerned about honour, when half of them are corrupt liars and er MURDERERS!!

I feel empowered because I find prayer time a good time to reflect and I feel at peace. I am financially stable. If I wore the hijab I wouldn't have to straighten my hair ;) or wax the fanjo/ legs!!! Or have to spend lots of money on useless junk clothes that bore me after a season.

Divorce is not something that muslim cultures are blasé about. So we really think about who we choose to marry. There are no quick weddings in Vegas/divorces after 72 days taken as the norm. So yes that is empowering!! Sex before marriage is also not really accepted. Girls may fool around but even the most liberal don't really have sex before marriage. The sanctity between husband and wife is kept (and we don't care if husband has had sex - at least he can take control!). So MTV teen mums wouldn't really be able to find Muslim teen mums.

Also Muslims clean their bums with water after they poo. So we don't smell. You know hold old people who are not Muslims stink of wee? Yeah well it's nice to know my bottom will be washed even if I'm senile and my fanjo will be trimmed clean and short until the day I die. That is rather empowering indeed.

Islam doesn't stop a woman feeling empowered.

nailak · 15/06/2012 22:49

you have to wax your fanjo still... it is part of Islam

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 22:55

Not necessarily wax but can shave.

On another note, did you know woment cant use the razor above their navel in islam? Therefore one should use hair removal cream to get rid of underarm hair

Original poster
Lostagain · 15/06/2012 22:57

Mumstgettothegym

Are u for real, having a clean bum, do u work with the elderly, senile? Elderly people sometimes have no choice, what a dreadful thing to say.

That empowers u?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostagain · 15/06/2012 22:58

Also some elderly Muslim people smell as well, believe it or not.

OP posts:
Nanananah · 15/06/2012 22:59

A clean bum that doesnt itch would empower me!!

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 22:59

Maybe thoes people that smell forgot to use their deodrant

nailak · 15/06/2012 23:00

nannanah where did you get that razor thing from?

ReallyTired · 15/06/2012 23:01

I get the impression that Islam is very prescriptive. Is it really that empowering to have tiny details of your life like whether you wax your fanjo decided for you.

Surely true empowerment is choice.

Original poster
Lostagain · 15/06/2012 23:01

Nana let's hope you don't get haemorrhoids then :)

OP posts:
Mustgettogym · 15/06/2012 23:01

Yeah that's true but I meant in terms of all these fancy fanjo styles! Landing strips/heart shapes and all other stupid designs....vajjazzle??!!

And yes I was wrong to insinuate there is something 'wrong' with illiterate people - but it is WRONG to set up your child with an illiterate person who you will then pay to cone over to the UK and perhaps financially support if he can't get a job. How will he support the grandchildren?! No matter how truthful and kind hearted and similar in genes he is - if he can't support his family then it is wrong.

Spending money - he likes to know I have the cash to do as I please. But I never spend it because I'm always with him and the cleaner steals it I think or I forget where I put it it is our money. If he needs money for valet or something when we are out I give it to him. My parents give money for our DS or when we moved into our place and I happily handed it over to him and it's in his account. OUR joint account actually.

nailak · 15/06/2012 23:02

it depends on your definition of tiny tbh.

when you tell your kids to wash their hands is that makeing them less empowered?

cleanliness is next to godliness and all that.

nailak · 15/06/2012 23:03

i am sure he can learn to be literate after marriage or work in a job where high level of literacy is not required.

rizq is from Allah

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 23:04

The hair trimming thing actually makes sense as it stops bacteria going in the "vagina" ( i hate that word). There have been studies done on it to prove that feel free to search that.

The same about eyebrows. muslim women are not allowed to pluck their eye brows. ITs also to protect the eyes from dust coming into the eyes

Nailak i think its sunnah or a hadith.

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 23:05

Me mam told me and she have very reliable source wink wink!

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 23:06

Rizk means wealth or income to everyone who doesnt know so.

ReallyTired · 15/06/2012 23:07

"when you tell your kids to wash their hands is that makeing them less empowered?"

Probably

Anyway I don't see hygiene as a religous issue.

Mustgettogym · 15/06/2012 23:07

I wax arm pits but why can't you use a razor?!

But a Muslim Will always be cleaned!!!! There's no choice about it!! Their son/daughter or whoever will do it!! (ok maybe son won't keep fanjo clean and hair free)

nailak · 15/06/2012 23:11

men have to shave their bits aswell.

anyway really you dont see it as a religious issue. but some religious people do.

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 23:12

MUUUMMMM WHY CANT WE USE A RAZOR???

ummm no reply from her end, will have to let everyone know tomoroow

Nanananah · 15/06/2012 23:14

waxing must kill!!! Ive tried that once but i bled.

I did use to wax down their but now dont have the time.

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