To not want to be a Muslim

[Lostagain]

Ok so I am a Muslim, have 2 dd and married dh is a convert to Islam....
Anyway from a young age I have had a strong pull towards Christianity or aspects of it. I don't believe Jesus is the son of god, but do believe he will return again etc.
Is it a cultural thing? I was born and brought up in the uk, went to a cofe school for a few years then we went to a inner city which was full of Asians- I am Asian but it was horrible, I hated it. Despite this I still sang on the school choir, certain people were horrified at the time, but my mum supported me. In my teens i went a bit religion mad and started wearing a headscarf etc- didn't last long,
i love Christmas and Easter, I sing hymms when I'm washing up i've been to a few church's in my time, funerals weddings etc and to be honest it's so peaceful there.
I have been to mosques it was ok,actually I couldn't wait to get out of there....Maybe it's a language barrier
I haven't spoken to anyone about this as it is such a big thing -changed my name on mn but sometimes I just don't want to be a Muslim. I want to bring up my children with faith and I struggle to explain the Muslim faith.

I'm sure there is the odd sentence in the above which makes sense :)

Mustgettothegym

Not all Muslims are clean, trust me, there are people in the uk, Muslims who have no family, or the family doesn't want to care for them anymore, due to Ill health or another reason.

Nana- you do not get bacteria as such from pubic hair- what nonsense, you can get thrush from using different washing powder, soaps perfumes etc.
Plucking eyebrows? Surly the eye lashes stop dust getting into them? Not the eyebrows? Unless you work in plastering?

Re the eyebrOws thing - I read you are not allowed to pluck the uni brow? The hair on top of the nose (if that makes sense?)

But no dust will get in the eye if I pluck that?!

And we shape eyebrows?! There is still enough eyebrow and eyelash to protect my peepers from the dessert sandstorms of ....London.

I agree cleanliness is godliness.

And a 30 year old illiterate man is highly employable in today's job Market? Be realistic. Rizq may be in the hands of Allah but Allah has given us a brain to make pragmatic decisions and do the best for our daughters. Parents have a choice and should tell their family 'back home' to go F themselves and the 'shame' on the family. These types of marriage usually end in divorce because The girl is too young/scared to say no at age 18. Abd after a few years of marriage with an illiterate village boy the girl has enough and demands a divorce. Stupid parents still end up with shame! Tut tut.

*desert

i am not saying any girl should be blackmailed in to marriage with a man she doesnt want to.

I am saying that for me there are things that are more important then money.
and yes in this job market i think it is more likely to find a job as a cleaner or working in a chicken shop then an investment banker, and a degree is not a guarantee of a job and an income.

you are wrong about the eyebrows.

Lostagain- "You do not get bacteria from your pubic hair". That is right, you dont. The hair down there protects it from dust and other particles entering your vagina. It acts like a sieve. For example when you are showering and using a sugar scrub, you may notice that the sugar particles get trapped in the hair down there so it doesnt enter the vagina.

What aspect of the eyebrows are you referring to Nailak?

www.islamqa.com/en/ref/22393/eyebrows

"anyway really you dont see it as a religious issue. but some religious people do."

It is not necessary to wash on a regular basis to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Although I suppose baptism is the only religous wash in christianity and you only get baptised once.

I suppose its a different mindset. The Victorians were very into washing, but in previous centuries people didn't bother much. "cleanliness is next to godliness" is a victorian saying, its not actually bibical.

Anyway as nice as this discussion is it is not that relevant.

This is about aqeedah (faith)

if one doesnt have the belief in Islam and Allah then one would not follow the laws (shariah) of Allah.

We need to be concentrating on tahweed, and the tenements of faith imo

well in Islam it is neccessary to wash regularly. I cant guarantee it will get you in to heaven though, but we wash before we pray, after sex etc.

oh thank you Nailak for that information.

i forgot to translate tahweed

Tawhid (Arabic: توحيد tawḥīd; English: doctrine of Oneness [of God]; also transliterated Tawheed, and Tauheed.) is the concept of monotheism in Islam.[1] It is the religion's most fundamental concept and holds God (Arabic: Allah) is one (wāḥid) and unique (ahad).[2]

I have lots of friends who say nowhere in The quaran does it say you can't drink alcohol. they just say you can't perform salat (namaz) if you are intoxicated as someone came into the mosque intoxicated and our Prophet said no!! You can't do that (well something like that)

I personally don't drink because it was just not done in my family and I never even thought about questioning it/nor was I tempted by my peers vomiting and sleeping around with whoever and not remembering the next day

But yes, I found that interesting. And these friends do perform salat as well as drink alcohol. (And get angry if their salat is delayed - take it v seriously!!)

are they hadith rejectors or part of a group called the submitters?

how to pray and when to pray is also not in the Quran

Lost again- Have you considered talking to someone about this?

(Sorry the thread is too long to read through)

If you are in london, baker street mosque holds a womens group every week where they run sessions talking about islam. Its very informal and quite a lot of women there are from other faiths, including some who are considering to reverting to islam. IF you are not in london, im sure there would be groups/sessions held somewhere close to you.

These sessions would give you the opportunity to put your questions accross to someone who is very knowledgable and provide you with responses to your queries immediately.

also sis you can try www.solaceuk.org they are a service for reverts, consdering your background I feel they would help you, they have a doubts in Islam email service for sisters to use to put questions they have, as well as an advice line service to a respected sheikh Haithem Haddad

nailak they are the we want to drink because it's fun group and this argument can be used against thOse that question them. But that's my assumption.

Is there anywhere in the quaran that says about drinking?

lol its their prerogative if they want to drink.

However there is a difference between doing something and accepting you are sinning and it is not allowed by Islam, and denying the laws of Allah, as denying the laws of Allah can take you out of Islam, for example many muslims dont pray regularly but know they should, that is different from a muslim that says they dont need to, and uses their own interpretations to justify themselves. I will find the fatwa about drinking for you.

www.islamqa.com/en/ref/40882/alcohol it is kinda long so i will post only some

?They ask you (O Muhammad) concerning alcoholic drink and gambling. Say: In them is a great sin, and (some) benefits for men, but the sin of them is greater than their benefit?

[al-Baqarah 2:219]

?O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), and gambling, and Al‑Ansaab (stone altars for sacrifices to idols, jinn, etc), and Al‑Azlaam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaytaan?s (Satan?s) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful.

91. Shaytaan (Satan) wants only to excite enmity and hatred between you with intoxicants (alcoholic drinks) and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allaah and from As‑Salaah (the prayer). So, will you not then abstain??

[al-Maa?idah 5:90-91]

In these two verses Allaah emphatically forbids alcohol, when He mentions it in conjunction with Al‑Ansaab (stone altars for sacrifices to idols, jinn, etc), and Al‑Azlaam (arrows for seeking luck or decision), which were symbols of shirk that were widespread in the Arabian peninsula before Islam, and He describes it as being the Shaytaan?s handiwork, which is immorality and evil. And Allaah commands us to avoid it and describes that as being the means that leads to success. And He describes its spiritual harm as hindering man from carrying out the obligations and duties enjoined by sharee?ah, namely remembrance of Allaah (dhikr) and prayer.

Alcohol leads to many harmful things, and deserves to be called ?the mother of all evils? ? as it was described by our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: ?Alcohol is the mother of all evils.? A hasan hadeeth quoted by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1854. And the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ?Alcohol is the mother of all evils, the greatest of major sins.

The Shaytaan gradually leads a person from a little to a lot, from minor to major, from sin to kufr, as much as he can, step by step. This is what the Lord of the Worlds refers to in Soorat al-Noor, where He says (interpretation of the meaning):

?O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan), then, verily, he commands Al‑Fahsha? [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al‑Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam)]. And had it not been for the Grace of Allaah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. But Allaah purifies (guides to Islam) whom He wills, and Allaah is All‑Hearer, All‑Knower?

[al-Noor 24:21]

The poet also referred to this when he said:

?A glance, then a smile, then a greeting, then words, then an appointment, then a meeting.?

Although this is clear to everyone who understands how people are and how the Shaytaan gets to them, it is more obvious in the case of alcohol and those who drink it.

According to the eastern proverb, ?In the beginning a man takes a cup of wine? then the first cup takes a second, then the cup of wine takes the man.?

it goes on to talk about society, road accidents, etc

Great thanks for this information :)

And cote on a more serious note about feeling empowered:

• As stated before, Mohammed's SAW first wife was a successful business woman. She is regarded as a woman that Muslim women should try and emulate. She was the first Muslim convert, which is a big deal, so there is even greater admiration for this educated, worldly woman for choosing to accePt Islam.

• Woman was created from mans side. His rib. To walk side by side with him. Not superior or below him.

• we also look up to the greatest scholar in Islam - Aisha RA. Women are also encouraged to stand up for what they believe in. TGE greatest fighter of Islam was Sumaiya who fought many non-believers on horseback!

• we were also given the right to vote and stand up for what we believe in. It is v empowering to know women did not have to throw themselves under horses in order fOr their voices to be heard. Women had to sit on the committee and discuss the running of the city. Their voices could be heard at the post fajr meetings (morning prayer). In Madina, 2 women were given The job of checking all the trade and that The tradesmen had paid their taxes. Even from day 1 women had an esteemed role in society

• and no women can not be lightly hit. Only if she doesn't wake for fajr may he sprinkle water LIGHTLY on her face - and she can do the same back to him.

• and you say it is a cliche. But muslim women aren't encouraged to be so blasé about respect for their bodies. Cote if you were asked to eat a sweet. One has been in a wrapper. The other left uncovered on the side. Say both fell onto the ground. Which would you eat? The one from the wrapper. Because that has been protected from dirt. Same as a muslim woman the cloak she wears covers her from the filth of non mehram (a man who is 'safe' to have uncovered hair like son husband father brother etc etc). So when she's married she's pure and untouched. As I said earlier no matter how liberal one is, this is respected - because it does make women from each level of society feel empowered. The hijab/modest dress Let's her walk around with people judging her for not her exterior. But what's inside. Her personality. Her sharp mind. Not superficial things like her attire or look which with time will fade (like my bikini body - disappeared in a matter of months!!)

You may say we have the same rights as women in the UK today. But our rights were given to us by our religion for centuries, not decades. (Culture as with every religion is a different issue.)

Now I can sleep more peacefully!!

Mustgettogym - I agree with you that when Islam came, it was a very positive change for the women of those times. My question is about today, though. When Muslim women say on this thread that Islam empowers and liberates them, it is hard to understand what they mean in comparison to other women in the UK.

In response to your earlier post: I'm not more anti-Islam than anti-Christianity or anti- unsubstantiated belief of other kinds (see the Reiki thread, for example). If I'm more on Islam threads, that is because I know more about it than other religions.

If I had any inclination to believe, I would probably be Muslim rather than Christian because Islam is the more recent and more rational one out of the two and doesn't have ridiculous stories you have to believe like the Trinity, virgin birth, Jesus as man and God, father and son etc.

Crescent

At the time, I wasn't really aware than a huge part of culture is mixed with religion, this is what this thread has shown me.
I was born and i live in a Christian country, where the majority of culture is based on Christianity to a point, no I don't know any girls who go out and get themselves plastered on drink personally etc it's who you mix with...

Maybe I just want islam to be simpler, this eyebrow plucking, washing ur bum etc Does my head in, as that's what most people I know spout about! but also wish the Quran was simpler, rather than this verse saying this but later on it says this about the same subject, which seems to be sometimes contradictory. This is my view, I'm aware it may not be others. -runs and dons hard hat!

I don't think I could of put not to be Asian as you can't change your ethnicity, well I don't think you can, but maybe able to change your children's by marrying non Asians?