roosmum, actually i do have a sense of panic at times, and used to more, especially as a teenager when i thought about "who am i - what does it all mean - where did we come from?" realising that i don't really know IS scary and feels like i am falling through space. however, that is also, to me, part of life. i am able to admit the origins of the universe are obscure and there are some questions i can't answer, and with i aloha i also think we should enjoy the ride (and make it enjoyable for others). so much of religion seems to be about making yourself and others miserable with restrictions and pointless rules, for the sake of "pie in the sky when you die". well, that might not be true, and even if it is, i'd rather live my life as a good, kind person than as someone who gets brownie points by avoiding sex before marriage, honouring my parents, or worst of all the completely morally vacuous tenet of believing in Jesus itself as a key to heaven. it is more important to be nice, imo.