I hate my dog

[CamFoz]

I know this sounds terrible, but since becoming pregnant and having my second child, I hate my dog.

She is a cockapoo, but definitely more Cocker. She has always pulled terribly on the lead. For the past year, while planning for a baby and pregnant, my partner and I have tried everything to stop her pulling. Watched YouTube videos, read all the tricks and tips and training videos to stop her pulling. She just will not learn. She pulls so bad it hurts my hand, she'll even choke herself if wearing a neck lead.

Anyway, I now have my newborn and my partner works in the Navy, so he is away for the next 4 months. I simply can not take my dog for a walk. If I do she'll pull so hard and pull the pram over, and if I have baby in the sling, I'm so worried she'll jerk me and it will knock the baby about or hurt babies neck.

I have been getting my daughter (shes 12) to take her out, or asking other family members of they mind walking her occasionally (they are happy to take her).

I just feel so so resentful of her, while also feeling guilty that i cannot take care of her, now I have a baby.

If I had it my way I would rehome her. But my whole family would make me feel terribly irresponsible. Plus, my 12 year old daughter would be upset.

I also have chronic health condition, which makes juggling all of this a lot harder.

What to do/ advice?

The kindest thing for your dog would be to re-home them to a knowledgeable and kind family.

I don't think you have any right to hate the dog, though. The faulty training is on you. But that can't be helped.

If you can afford it, there must be specialists that can come out to help solve this behaviour problem?

Does sound difficult with little ones. But not the dog's fault either

Rehome her.
Your daughter will adapt.

You need to rehome her. You can't cope, not fair on her.

Do you want suggestions on how to manage her or do you just want to be told it's okay to rehome her? No judgement either way, but I have a cocker who likes to pull and have walked her throughout having two babies/kids so do have some things that I found helpful.

It seems awful to say you hate the poor dog for this reason but could there be some hormones influencing your mood negatively? Do you have any other low mood or signs of depression? It must be hard having your DH away with a new baby.
In practical terms can you afford a regular dog walker for now? Then take up all offers of help from family and your dd.

Just in case you do want actual advice. Make sure she's in a harness and use a walking belt. When you use a handheld lead with a puller, it's very easy for them to pull you off-balance, especially when you're having to use a hand or both to push the pram too. It's very easy to be jerked when you're holding onto a lead.

A walking belt means that a dog cannot pull you off-centre, your hands are free, and you can't be jerked or pulled in one direction. My dog is same size as yours I imagine and she certainly can nowhere near pull me over or even pull me in a certain direction when she's on the belt. I can walk her with the pram and my older DD no problem on the belt, but I wouldn't do it with a handheld lead.

Are you only doing pavement walks? I viewed pavements walks as a necessarily evil to get to the good stuff, the forest or the fields or wherever that DDog could go off-lead as that's what she enjoys most.

It might pass. I adore my 2 dogs who are old and small and shper easy but hormones meant I was a bit resentful of the extra work jey entailed after the babies. Depending on how old, consider rehoming but also consider riding out the hormones just a year and seeing a dog trainer for the pulling.

Are you using a body harness leash as the collar leash would be cruel for it if the dog pulls? Have you had a trainer out to rectify walking issue?

Rehome her. She deserves a family that loves her. Shame on you 😡

Re home your poor dog, I feel really sad the way you have said this your dog deserves better and the fault is yours not the dogs, you should have paid to have her trained properly if you couldn't do it.

Shame on you

Don't be mean! The OP has tried. She doesn't like the dog, and she can't cope with the dog. Just re-home the dog, OP - and don't feel bad about it.

Had a springer who pulled, had to use a Halti. He still pulled but was a lot more manageable. Harness didn't really help, and obviously a neck lead isn't at all suitable for a puller. Obviously. But if you're saying you hate her and considering rehoming her for something like this, she'll be a lot better off without you tbh. She's a living being who didn't ask to be your accessory and she needs someone who'll prioritise her wellbeing, not someone who'll chuck her out at the first minor inconvenience. Please don't get another.

Have you tried a headcollar at all? An friend of mine had success with a Gencon-style headcollar with her Springer who pulled like a frieght train, and I believe Dogmatic headcollars are generally considered to be good quality. Headcollars are aversive (they work by making it too uncomfortable for the dog to pull) but perhaps worth a try if walks are this miserable at the moment.

I got a cocker as a three year old and she pulled like a train - she would cut and blister my hands. Like you I hated it. Nothing would stop her. The most effective thing I found was her harness has a loop on the chest strap. I thread the lead from her right side, through the loop and up over her left shoulder to clip on the back. I lead her on my left side only ie standard heel position. If she pulled the lead set up would pull her off balance and she couldn't lean into it. Lots of walks and she is significantly better now.

I started doing it as one day her lead had gone across her chest and she stopped because of the pressure. So I found a way to set ot up like that, which had the added bonus of her not being able push into it.

You can get harnesses with a front clip attachment. They're used for dogs who pull.

ETA this dog is 11-13kg and I'm much more, hmmm, substantial. She xan easily pull me off balance. She is very, very strong and had never been taught to walk properly.

I think it is more irresponsible to keep a dog you acknowledge you cannot properly take care of/meet the needs of, and that probably picks up on the resentment. A young cockapoo pup will have boundless energy and will need lots and lots of attention and exercise and training, and will not just “behave” without this effort and input. So you will continue to be unhappy and so will the dog unfortunately if you don’t make changes.
I feel that if you are unable or unwilling to make the necessary adjustments and put in the work with the dog, you should do the fair thing and find him a loving home with somebody who can put in the time and energy needed to keep the pup happy.
im sorry that it isn’t an easier fix - i can only imagine how tough it is dealing with an energetic, demanding dog whilst also trying to take care of a baby, i have tried to walk my dog while pushing a pram and it was brutal - hats off to dog walking mums who do that on the daily!
Good luck in finding a forever home for your pet. Please dont let your family guilt you into keeping the dog as unless they’re willing to step up and help you meet its needs, it really is unfair to keep him.

Bit unfair to be so harsh. OP is posting here because she clearly does care and wants the dog to have a fulfilling life. You don’t know if her circumstances have changed since getting the dog etc, don’t be so judgmental

You 'hate your dog'. Really??? You knew you were going to be having another child, you should have taken the opportunity to actually train her. A little effort and you could have had it walking beautifully on a lead by now. A dog behaviourist would have pointed out what you were doing wrong, and taught you what to do. Instead of that, you hate her. Poor, poor dog 😞

Rehome her.

Never ever ever get another pet. Ever.

Have you tried a waist lead ?

Did she ever get enough walks? Before kids?She sounds completely under stimulated to me. I think most behaviours can be attributed to lazy owners who don't take them on 2 long walks a day.

I've never owned a dog but don't abide by 'can't teach old dog . . .' etc. some good advice re new leads / harnesses. Also get your daughter more involved - she probably has friends with dogs too so suggest park play dates after discussing with parents re dog's temperaments. Lots of toys to knacker him out / take the edge of his (fair enough) eagerness to get out. Look up dog walkers?

You should have trained the dog from day 1, with a trainer if necessary.

Get a trainer and step up to what you signed up for.

Poor dog. Never get another.

Get a double contact harness and lead - gives you much more control and spins the dog round if they begin to pull. Eventually they learn! It was a game changer for our golden retriever, she still pulls a bit when very excited (eg: at the beach) but we can now do a pavement walk with a regular lead and collar, 0 pulling which is a massive difference to how she used to be.

You need to break the cycle of her not getting enough exercise, I’m sure you’re aware that it’s exacerbating the situation. DDog needs at least 2, preferably 3 ‘big’ runs a week at the dog park, beach, forest etc to release energy and keep her ticking over. She’s then far more relaxed + easier to manage on the days where we have to do less interesting walks around our local area due to time constraints. Get a dog walker if you can.

Do you have any idea how many animals are abandoned because owners have babies and can't cope with the dog/cat anymore?

If you can't cope with a relatively low demand animal how are you going to cope with multiple children? Rehome them if they become too demanding?