I hate my dog

[CamFoz]

I know this sounds terrible, but since becoming pregnant and having my second child, I hate my dog.

She is a cockapoo, but definitely more Cocker. She has always pulled terribly on the lead. For the past year, while planning for a baby and pregnant, my partner and I have tried everything to stop her pulling. Watched YouTube videos, read all the tricks and tips and training videos to stop her pulling. She just will not learn. She pulls so bad it hurts my hand, she'll even choke herself if wearing a neck lead.

Anyway, I now have my newborn and my partner works in the Navy, so he is away for the next 4 months. I simply can not take my dog for a walk. If I do she'll pull so hard and pull the pram over, and if I have baby in the sling, I'm so worried she'll jerk me and it will knock the baby about or hurt babies neck.

I have been getting my daughter (shes 12) to take her out, or asking other family members of they mind walking her occasionally (they are happy to take her).

I just feel so so resentful of her, while also feeling guilty that i cannot take care of her, now I have a baby.

If I had it my way I would rehome her. But my whole family would make me feel terribly irresponsible. Plus, my 12 year old daughter would be upset.

I also have chronic health condition, which makes juggling all of this a lot harder.

What to do/ advice?

Mean?! FFS
Yeah what an attitude to have. Animals aren’t disposable. It’s a bloody cockapoo not a husky for god sake. ‘It pulls’ pmsl.

I will never understand why people feel the need to get a dog mongrel which is a mix of 2 energetic, intelligent breeds and then act surprised when it needs lots of exercise, stimulation and training. It does seem to be a common theme amongst doodle etc owners

Rehoming is not the worst thing in the world. And some dogs and families don't mix I once rehomed a puppy and I also adopted a rescue who we adore. You have enough on your plate.

Thanks to everyone who had constructive replies, they have been helpful. Obviously the non constructive ones aren't going to help my dog, are they... So, do you really care about my pet? Or does it just give you some twisted satisfaction to be nasty online?

For those of you criticising me for not training my dog, I have tried to train her, I have also used a trainer multiple times. It has not worked.

Clearly, I care about my dog. Otherwise, I would not have put this amount of effort in to begin with.

I would imagine a lot of people rehome animals after children is due to a lack of support for parents/ mothers. No one can prepare you for the difficulties of motherhood, so perhaps we should lead with understanding.

Also, I would like to suggest - that unless you are vegan and support all animal rights, coming at me is verging on hypocrisy.

‘Also, I would like to suggest - that unless you are vegan and support all animal rights, coming at me is verging on hypocrisy.’

What on earth are you on about OP? 😵‍💫

Also, why start a thread looking for practical advice when you are intent on rehoming her?

@CamFoz if you are within an hour of Winchester, I'll show you how to get your dog to walk loose lead for free. I'm a dog trainer.

I don't see how the dog can pull the pram over unless you're attaching them to it. Don't do that.

Push the pram with one hand and hold the dog on a short lead in the other hand. Reward for good behaviour. They will get used to it.

Sounds like the dog has lots of energy and not walking them will make it worse. Keep trying.

And that’s when you lost all sympathy.

You knew you planned to have children, you knew your husband was in the military and you should have known a dog is a 12 year commitment.

Get a dog Walker, whilst you search for a new home for the dog.

There’s a reason dog rescue places are full to bursting - it’s mainly because people think they’re disposable when life changes.

As I’m not vegan I probably shouldn’t comment 🙄

She doesn't walk in a straight line, she'll walk around the pram, meaning the lead will pull on the pram from the side

I just mean, some people are very critical, using the line 'animals are not disposable', but the reality is the meat industry disposes millions of animals everyday, which we are complicite in. It's off topic, and not relevant to the actual issue however

Is she ever taken out for a good off lead run?

Rehome her. You've done your best.

Speaking of the meat industry, quite fancy a steak 😅

Cockers and springers don’t walk in a straight line, they’re bred to scan side to side. My springer pulls like a train (I’ve never bothered training him to walk on a lead) so I just stick to off lead walks now. They need the exercise! On the occasional event he needs a lead I put a halti on him and he’s fine. How heavy is your dog? I can’t imagine a cockerpoo can pull that hard.

In all honesty though, do you think about the amount of animals being disposed of when you eat meat? Or do they not count.

I had my dog before I met my partner, I didn't plan to have another child, we're both in our 30s, but we then wanted one. Circumstances change, believe it or not.

I'm not vegan myself, I'm just making a point, steak is great

Another poor dog rehomed because of poor training, lack of knowledge about breeds and the arrival of children.
I despise humans. I don’t think people realise the mental harm that dogs go through when they are rehomed.

You can get angry at the responses all you like OP, but this is on you.

This daft response comes up every single time someone admits they’re struggling with dog ownership.

Do what is right for you right now and when your circumstances are different get another pet if you want, OP! Sanctimonious strangers on the internet can’t stop you ☺️

I don’t eat meat, so yes - personally I do. I also think that you are trying to distract from any negative attention re: your dog and use this point as an excuse, which really and truly OP is quite shameful. You got a family pet to grow old with, not a farm animal bred for meat. It is not the same, whether you want to try and paint it that way or not.

If you feel that you absolutely need to rehome her then do so, but don’t try and make false comparisons in an attempt to justify things.

Training works if you keep at it. You need to do more than a lesson a week. You need to practice each day. Until you nail it a figure of eight lead could help. Use a sling rather than the pram. Allow the dog lots of off lead time. This is your responsibility.

As others have suggested, please at least try a Halti head collar - it's a game changer! I have a puller - 25-30kg spaniel/poodle mix - and used the collar when he was younger to stop being yanked every which way. (He's a bit more manageable these days.)

Can you rehome her with a friend or family member? Or if it's just when you are walking her could you employ a dog walker on a regular basis to come and take her out until hubby is home?

How old is the dog, is she still relatively young?

Do you use a harness when out with dog?

But I have tried to train her and used a trainer multiple times from a puppy? She reverts back to pulling, everytime. No matter what.

I know plenty about dog breeds.

But, is that not in line with your black and white narrative?

You need a proper dog trainer OP, someone ideally who specialises in the breed, and then you need to be consistent with all training. It doesn’t have to be 2 hours a day, it can literally be 5 minute snippets every couple of hours when you’re making a bottle, you need to build a trust and connection and a good trainer will be able to help you massively with this.

Also remember mental stimulation is your friend here- frozen kongs, “go find” games, scent games, treats wrapped in a knotted tea towel, don’t feed from a bowl make every meal an opportunity to train or use nose e.g. scatter in a sniff mat. It is difficult but with good training this is more than fixable, good luck x

Have you thought about sending her to a residential board and train? So she would stay with a trainer for 2/3 weeks and return being able to walk to heel - you have to keep it up of course.