I hate my dog

[CamFoz]

I know this sounds terrible, but since becoming pregnant and having my second child, I hate my dog.

She is a cockapoo, but definitely more Cocker. She has always pulled terribly on the lead. For the past year, while planning for a baby and pregnant, my partner and I have tried everything to stop her pulling. Watched YouTube videos, read all the tricks and tips and training videos to stop her pulling. She just will not learn. She pulls so bad it hurts my hand, she'll even choke herself if wearing a neck lead.

Anyway, I now have my newborn and my partner works in the Navy, so he is away for the next 4 months. I simply can not take my dog for a walk. If I do she'll pull so hard and pull the pram over, and if I have baby in the sling, I'm so worried she'll jerk me and it will knock the baby about or hurt babies neck.

I have been getting my daughter (shes 12) to take her out, or asking other family members of they mind walking her occasionally (they are happy to take her).

I just feel so so resentful of her, while also feeling guilty that i cannot take care of her, now I have a baby.

If I had it my way I would rehome her. But my whole family would make me feel terribly irresponsible. Plus, my 12 year old daughter would be upset.

I also have chronic health condition, which makes juggling all of this a lot harder.

What to do/ advice?

There’s an extreme difference to consuming meat and the meat trade to buying a domesticated animal and disposing off it when you decide you”hate” it.

How old is your dog?
I dont think this is reason to rehome. I think youve got a newborn and youre overwhelmed. Your family are all helping with walking the dog. Your daughter is old enough to commit to doing more with the dog.
I think if you rehomed the dog, your daughter would potentially remember this forever and create resentment about the new baby.
This is a temporary issue. Take as much help as you can get with dog walking. Training is an ongoing process. Get your daughter to learn about dog training too.

My feelings about my pets always went a bit weird when i had babies. I didnt hate them, but their status definitely got downgraded for a while. It passes though.

I have had dogs for the last 16 years and I have a lot of empathy towards the poor dog who was chosen by this family but I do have limited empathy to those who don't take dog ownership seriously. OP isn't looking for ways of making it work with the dog she is shutting down everyone by saying getting rid of her dog is equally as bad as someone eating a meatball. She is saying that nobody who eats meat can put any blame on her for buying a dog, making it a part of a family to then change her mind and make it move away from his people.

People aren't void of empathy because they show more empathy towards a dog that hasn't chosen this than towards a human who has simply changed her mind.

Poor dog, positive only training doesn't work for all dogs. It failed mine terribly and left us feeling like our vets suggestion of PTS was our last and only option.

You either need a balanced trainer to show your dog what do do, and more importantly what not to do, for the safety of your children, your dog and yourself. Or rehome them with someone who will do the necessary training.

Jamie Penrith and Unleashed K9 changed our dogs life completely and saved us from the brink.

Dogs like that should be out for hours a day.

If you’re not taking her out, she’s going to be a huge ball of energy at home making you more stressed and hating her more.

do what’s best for this poor dog and re home her.

I find it insane all these people getting spaniel crosses and thinking twenty minutes walk (if that) twice a day is enough. They're a working dog. Unless you can train and walk hours each day they will bored and misbehave.
You need to invest in a trainer but if you can't offer what they need going forward the kindest thing would be to find her an active home with experienced dog owners.
I have a spaniel cross (not a designer one) and a standard daschund. The cross needs ten plus miles a day. We solve this by walking them together with the spaniel getting a lot of time off lead.

A dog is for life, not just until you have a baby.

This isn't a solution to the dog pulling, but do you have any neighbours who would like a dog but can't have one for whatever reason, and would help out with walks? We had an elderly neighbour who has a cocker she can't give enough exercise (because of mobility problems) and I walked her most days. We have a cat/work and can't have a dog so this worked well for everyone.

They recently moved house - actually to another country - and I am so sad to have lost my little furry friend.

I think it’s probably safe to assume that if it can’t walk properly on a lead it won’t have been trained to come on command either.

I do honestly think the kindest thing to do for all involved ( including the dog) would be to get it rehomed.
just my opinion, though, obvs.

@narns
OP is in the trenches with a newborn and a 12 year old on her own
get a grip, millions of us manage with kids and pets, the 12 yr old can walk the dog yet poor op can't?
Maybe if she'd trained the dog instead of looking for excuses after having a baby.

Will a family member take her ? Then dd can still see dog.

Can you afford for her to be walked by a professional dog walker, even if it's only some of the week. Or look into doggy day care maybe?. Your dog needs basic training - which I would normally suggest but not sure when you would be able to do this with your husband away etc etc. I think if you have no choice but to re home, then please find a breed specific rescue who will understand the breed and their needs

Most Cockapoos are like this. You.must have known about their energy and pulling when you chose that breed. If your DD and family members are happy to walk her I don't see the problem. You could always pay for a dog walker to walk her for an hour midday. Cockapoos need lots of walking to tire them out. One of my nieces has one and walks it about 45 minutes every morning and a longer walk about 5 miles every evening and my sister often takes it for a walk after lunch too.

Rehome, your children are more important. Small children and dogs aren’t the safest combination anyway.

Oh, millions of people cope perfectly fine on their own with two children (including a newborn), a dog and a chronic health condition do they? I guess OP should just shut up and put then!

Also, I don't think OP has said that she cannot walk the dog. She said she cannot walk the dog with the newborn, and she said that the dog hurts her hands. I'm sure she could walk the dog on her own if someone was looking after her newborn, like her husba... oh wait

Thanks again to those who understand the difficulty I'm in. Your support and advice hasn't gone unnoticed.

Poor dog.

This is a WORKING type and as such very trainable.

But far too many dogs were bought before children and then sloughed off as unwanted as they are hard work.

No way do these dogs make good pets for the average Joe.

They need masses of brain work and exercise.

Re- home her via a reputable charity.

People really need to look long term at the dogs they buy.

Look at what they are bred to do.

Many frantic dogs are of this type as grossly bored and under exercised.

This is just not true- spaniels don't need 10 miles a day at all of what they need is breed specific stimulation which works their brains as well as their body.

I have low sympathy for anyone who buys particularly a working cocker cross, and who has no intention of doing any gundog or other "work" with it. They need a job. Scent work, agility, gundog work: anything which makes them think. Poodles are also smart and need brain work (maybe less so the toy version)

My (spaniel) gundogs get an hour off lead training walk to plus some sniffy village on lead walks for 30/40 minutes a day. Currently building up some more fitness ready for shooting season but 10 miles a day is bonkers.

OP, find a good gundog trainer. They will change your relationship with that dog. Or find agility or something else you can have fun training your dog in. As for lead pulling, it is trainable but in your circumstances I'd probably start with a good headcollar and then get a trainer to help you train the loose lead walk.

Training is an ongoing thing. Not a 6 week course and ta dah, fixed! You need to commit to it, and keep moving forward with your training through doing it regularly.

It's a myth spaniels can't walk loose lead. They find it hard but they absolutely can do it.

If this is all too much effort/work then re-home the dog. It needs more than you are willing to put n.

Poor dog😢 I wish for a day where dogs are always treated like family & full research is done before committing to them for potentially 15 years.

Another one sat in kennels wondering what it’s done so wrong to be turfed out.

Agreed
Plus it’s the owner that needs training WITH the dog.

Cockerpoos are a terrible cross for most people
frantic and yappy.
They need exercise and work to keep them sane.

Cockers can be a handful. I would definitely get a local walker if you can. I unfortunately became chronically ill and couldn't walk my dog for a period of time but I found a local walker who would take him out regularly in the meantime.

Give yourself some space to make a decision.

A lot of cockers/cocker mixes pull terribly on the lead. It is hard to get it right all the time even with consistent training which I suspect yours didn't have.

Get Dp to take the dog to classes with dd and get dd to do the exercises at home. In the meantime get the walker or daycare to take her regularly during the week.

That's why you put them on a short lead, then they can't walk in front of the pram.

Rehome the dog. She comes first.

There are lots of different harnesses out there. I suggest you research these
If you hate the dog for just being a dogthen rehome
Every dog deserves a loving caring home

I’m still not understanding how the 12 year old can walk the dog?
Can the 12 yr old do brain games a few times a day - even just 5 minutes before school, 10-15 after school before a walk and a bit more in the evening?
I would also second a waist belt, when I take both my dogs out, I often use a waist belt for the German Shepherd and hand lead for Staffie. I don’t always walk them together though.