I hate my dog

[CamFoz]

I know this sounds terrible, but since becoming pregnant and having my second child, I hate my dog.

She is a cockapoo, but definitely more Cocker. She has always pulled terribly on the lead. For the past year, while planning for a baby and pregnant, my partner and I have tried everything to stop her pulling. Watched YouTube videos, read all the tricks and tips and training videos to stop her pulling. She just will not learn. She pulls so bad it hurts my hand, she'll even choke herself if wearing a neck lead.

Anyway, I now have my newborn and my partner works in the Navy, so he is away for the next 4 months. I simply can not take my dog for a walk. If I do she'll pull so hard and pull the pram over, and if I have baby in the sling, I'm so worried she'll jerk me and it will knock the baby about or hurt babies neck.

I have been getting my daughter (shes 12) to take her out, or asking other family members of they mind walking her occasionally (they are happy to take her).

I just feel so so resentful of her, while also feeling guilty that i cannot take care of her, now I have a baby.

If I had it my way I would rehome her. But my whole family would make me feel terribly irresponsible. Plus, my 12 year old daughter would be upset.

I also have chronic health condition, which makes juggling all of this a lot harder.

What to do/ advice?

I don't understand how you think a 12 year old cannot do this?

"I have low sympathy for anyone who buys particularly a working cocker cross, and who has no intention of doing any gundog or other "work" with it. They need a job. Scent work, agility, gundog work: anything which makes them think. Poodles are also smart and need brain work (maybe less so the toy version)"

This is completely true, but I would say that cockapoos were poorly mis-sold for a lot of years to many naive owners (I include myself in that). I read countless books and websites, and spoke to multiple 'reputable' breeders and cockapoo owners when choosing our pup and the only info on working cocker vs show cocker parents was about how a working cocker was good for a 'fairly active lifestyle' and was more responsive to training (this leaves A LOT out of the story!). The distinct working breed traits are so evident in our dog, but I didn't do any specific reading on working dogs before getting him. Yes I feel like an idiot now, but everything I read talked about what perfect family pets cockapoos are!

Anyway, we worked with a firm but fair, balanced trainer to handle some specific reactivity problems we were having and she showed us this importance of giving him a 'job' to do in every situation. She also recommended gun dog training classes, which our dog loved. Life is SO busy and I often worry we aren't well equipped to give him the best possible life but we love him so we muddle through and do the best we can.

But I also know I physically couldn't do it alone. So I don't judge the OP for considering if it's the right thing for their family, given her husband's work.

I do think language like 'hate' was unfortunate and inflammatory though...

Give her break..have a bit of compassion.

Someone who posts ‘I hate my dog’ about their family pet they haven’t bothered to train properly to give it a chance doesn’t deserve any compassion.

Perhaps if OP had worded her thread ‘Struggling with my dog’ people wouldn’t be quite so flabbergasted by her appalling attitude towards an innocent animal who deserves none of this.

Well said. Seriously there are major bitches on here , lacking any kind of empathy or sympathy. Psychopathic arseholes. The woman is struggling. It would be best for eveyone Inc the dog if it was rehomed in my opinion. Can you not all cut her some slack.

Please don’t use a waist belt if your dog pulls - you’re setting yourself up for a back injury

Training definitely is an ongoing thing- dogs can need a reminder if they see something very exciting, and ''forget'' their training.

My dog doesn't pull but if she catches a whiff of fox she definitely can begin to want to pull- DOWN goes the head, OUT splay the forelegs to gain traction on the ground.

So we just stop.
No one goes anywhere while there is tension on the lead.

She begins to walk sensibly again, and if the head goes DOWN and forelegs splay, we just wait again.

She's only 11 kilos so manageable.

Leads tied to belts are seriously dangerous - If another dog comes up and tries to hurt, or go for yours, you can be pulled over, or tangled up.

A woman was killed by her dog when she had them tied to her waist {A dog walker }

Another dog walker round here had a belt with leads daisy chaining off it and it looked so dangerous.

She was very bad tempered as the dogs were pulling in various directions.

I do understand how the word 'hate' was harsh of me to use. I know it is triggering. I don't hate my dog, I am just resenting the situation at the moment, the hormones, and adjusting my life.

For those of you laying into me, I was simply asking for advice, I don't see how any good ever comes from making nasty comments. It's especially not helpful for my dog.

Perhaps I should have researched this breed more, I was mis sold the dog as a good, easy train, family pet. My mistake. But we all live and learn.

Apart from the good advice that many of shared (thanks again, I will take it onboard) , I've learnt that this forum is really full of so many judgemental, presumptuous people - who think scorning someone is the best way to help them (of course a lot of you had no intention of helping, obviously).

OP hates the dog. The dog needs to be cared for properly.

You can think us presumptuous and judgmental, OP - tbh I don’t care.

The most basic part of dog ownership is walking your dog and giving it love. You seem unable to do either so you should rehome your dog. It’s a living, breathing creature and deserves better.

Where exactly has the OP said she’s not caring for the dog? She’s having one issue, walking it. That doesn’t mean it’s being kept in the coal shed and fed bread and water. She’s already admitted hate was the wrong word to use.

OP just get a dog walker. Twice a day if you can, but at least once a day and make sure your dog is getting an off lead run on at least some of those days. It's not that expensive and your dog will probably love it. You know what they say - a tired dog is a happy dog. Try it for six months and see if your household gets along more smoothly.

Define re home.

Definitely

Condescending as well.

I mean, obviously that's what dogs need. Exactly why I was asking for advice to be able to do this... 🙄

Thank you

The zig zagging is what cockers do I think (from memory of dog training classes) so you won’t be able to stop them.

The pulling, a halti might help, we had one for our old lab and it was the only thing that worked till he got older and less enthusiastic

Might be an unpopular opinion (I haven’t read the replies, sorry) but I’d find her a new home. Right or wrong, if you resent her, you can’t give her what she needs in terms of time and commitment.

Most dogs pull on the lead because they’re under exercised. It’s not your dog’s fault but the bottom line is, you are unlikely you’ll be able to give her the exercise she needs when the baby arrives.

It’s a popular breed, she might be able to find a good home.

Just please have her spayed before you regime her as otherwise she is likely to end up as a breeding machine and no dog deserves that. Don’t believe prospective owners promises, I’ve worked with rescue dogs and the backyard breeding enterprises always send a nice and well spoken lady around to view and collect the dog and promise a ‘family’ home.

So, imho the kindest thing you can do is spay her and find her a nice home. Be honest in your description of her.