I hate my dog

[CamFoz]

I know this sounds terrible, but since becoming pregnant and having my second child, I hate my dog.

She is a cockapoo, but definitely more Cocker. She has always pulled terribly on the lead. For the past year, while planning for a baby and pregnant, my partner and I have tried everything to stop her pulling. Watched YouTube videos, read all the tricks and tips and training videos to stop her pulling. She just will not learn. She pulls so bad it hurts my hand, she'll even choke herself if wearing a neck lead.

Anyway, I now have my newborn and my partner works in the Navy, so he is away for the next 4 months. I simply can not take my dog for a walk. If I do she'll pull so hard and pull the pram over, and if I have baby in the sling, I'm so worried she'll jerk me and it will knock the baby about or hurt babies neck.

I have been getting my daughter (shes 12) to take her out, or asking other family members of they mind walking her occasionally (they are happy to take her).

I just feel so so resentful of her, while also feeling guilty that i cannot take care of her, now I have a baby.

If I had it my way I would rehome her. But my whole family would make me feel terribly irresponsible. Plus, my 12 year old daughter would be upset.

I also have chronic health condition, which makes juggling all of this a lot harder.

What to do/ advice?

With the amount of sudden dog deaths and abuse at many of these establishments - absolutely do not do this.

Tried to train her? So you have practised in the house, then the garden. Then on every walk out of the house each day?

Do you let her off the lead a lot? I know another cocker who just wants to be off the lead, constantly circling, not all compatible with lead walking. If so then it’s case of taking her somewhere to let her off lead. Don’t even try to walk with pram

I was just making a point, it's not that deep

What happens when you use a no-pull harness (lead attaches to the front) or the no-pull lead around her muzzle?

Both are designed so the dog can't pull without spinning around.

Do you have any links or information on this? This is not my experience at all. I don’t mean at a kennels either I mean at trainers houses

Training is a long process and it needs repeating every single day for months/years. It’s a lifestyle choice, not a quick fix. You don’t have a few lessons with a trainer and then the dog miraculously does as you say. They teach you techniques that you use but it’s actually a very time consuming and slow process, particularly with dogs like cockapoos who are a mix of two intelligent and busy brains.

Aswell as this, all it takes is one person in the family to take the dog out and allow it to pull one day (or maybe you, on a day you haven’t got time and want a quick walk) and it undermines the training, confuses the dog and then you find the dog doesn’t respond because you’ve allowed the goal posts to move.

A dog who reverts back to pulling needs the techniques to on indefinitely. This might even be the type of dog who will need reminding for most of its life. Cocker spaniels are known as pullers and weavers when they walk, did you not know this when you got a cross of one?

A halti harness works like a dream with my dog. I never found the head collars much use - and he hated it!

Pulling can be soul destroying can’t it.

Have you tried a halti?

I have owned pulling breeds for most of my life now, genuine pulling breeds like huskies and malamutes.

From being young we use haltis, as they go round the muzzle and stop the dog at the head and not the neck.

You do not need to pull them, or yank them, just that as the dog naturally pulls it deters them as they cannot control their muzzle. You can simply stop walking for a few minutes until they've calmed down and then carry on.

Stay away from harnesses as that gives the dog the full power of their body to pull with, and using the neck collar as you say is just making your dog choke herself.

It is that deep when you’re talking about getting rid of a living creature that has become part of your family. Have some maturity for goodness sake. People are trying to help and all you are doing is sending nasty replies.

Part of being a responsible owner is recognising the need to give your pet a better home when you can’t adequately care for it. If you’re not able to care for your dog, rehome it otherwise you’re not a responsible or good owner - despite your claims.

Rehome your dog - spaniel aid are wonderful - and don’t get another.

Also get a shorter lead. She should be at your side at all times.

@CamFoz

@HappiestSleeping has made you a great offer, did you see it??

either the people you paid aren't any good, or you didn't keep up the training. It's not 'do one' and expect a miracle.

the most ridiculous thing here is allowing(encouraging) a 12 yo to take out an untrained dog.

If you are going to keep her you need a harness, short lead and back to heel training with lots of high value treats and praise. Practice walking in your garden when you can't get out without baby. Also id put baby in a sling as it's easier than a pram and dog. When in the house practice simple command over and over again (stop, leave.sit) again with high value treats. Try and get your dd involved. The dog needs to respect and understand your commands. When is your dh away? Can he focus on the training before he goes?

Btw I've a Cockapoo that pulled like mad (looked like a kangaroo!) but with training and consistency she has gotten so much better and we now have lovely walks. I found 1:1 walks easier as you can focus on the dog and she is less likely to be as excitable.

I was going to suggest this type of harness. It worked for me when I was training my 50kgs GSD to stop pulling. The stop and start method works too. It takes dedication and time to train a dog and the willingness to see it through.

Check my name, so I do have something relevant to contribute. I have also been vegetarian for over 30 years to tick your other random box. Please note I am trying to restrain my irritation at your unnecessary mud slinging. To be honest people are giving you a hard time because you are letting your dog down, and frankly you deserve to feel somewhat guilty about that as I would be devastating to her to be rehomed at this stage plus a terrible message to your 12 year old, it leaving all that aside.

Spaniels are known for pulling, it’s part of their bred in hunting and flushing drive. Early, consistent and professional training helps and they can be trained out of it - I managed it with one of mine, the other has never gotten over it completely and needs regular refreshers but can manage it mostly if I very actively manage triggers, levels of arousal and pick my locations and timings carefully.

Frankly of you genuinely resent her the love is gone and she probably would be better with someone else but please please make sure it is someone who knows what they are doing and will love her as this will be massively upsetting and disruptive for your dog, who will feel abandoned.

If you want to work on this you need a decent trainer, ideally who is also a behaviourist and understands cockerpoos ( many people don’t take them seriously, but both poodles and cockers are proper dogs with strong personalities who need proper handling), look at how much breed satisfaction you are giving her as if she is not properly stimulated her pulling will be worse and take a look at a decent harness (perfect fit are good) and possibly a gentle leader ( I don’t like them but if used properly and not too tightly they can work). But please don’t blame her, you are saying things like she won’t learn but she is a dog, if you have a good relationship she wants to please you, so this is bout you not her and please don’t punish her for it- she will feel you withdrawing and feel insecure, which will only make things worse.

It sounds like the poor dog is under stimulated and poorly trained, walked by a 12 year old and the 'occasional' other family member. So basically your dog is getting no training at all and probably a lot less than the two vigorous walks a day that she needs, plys stimulation in between. So take her welfare seriously. It's your responsibility to do so. Don't upset your daughter by rehoming the dog but do invest the time and money to sort this out.

Watching YouTube won't fix it. Get a dog trainer or regime.

It sounds like you've got to the point where you're not interested in trying anything else OP and just want rid of the dog as it's a hassle now you've got a baby, is that the case? If not then I agree with others that a halti is definitely worth trying, it was a game changer with my two rescues plus 2 year old in a pushchair.

The other thing is the dog needs somewhere where it can burn off some energy and run around freely, you'll probably find it's much better on the lead once some of the energy has been burnt.

You say it pulls awfully but then say your 12 year old daughter takes it out, how is she able to manage? If the dog pulls so hard it hurts your hand why are you letting your child take her out? Honestly you just sound like you can't be bothered and want to dump the dog on anyone so you don't have to deal with it.

If it's actually that you're just struggling with having a baby right now then make the most of relatives helping out with the dog and it'll get much easier as the baby gets older. Just don't make out it's the dogs fault for not walking nicely when you didn't train it.

Sorry, you want to rehome her because she pulls? She loves you. You're her pack. Presumably the other family members love her?
I hate halties but in your case, maybe just when you walk her, use one? Or go somewhere she can be let off lead? Hopefully she has been trained to recall but if not, intensively start.
You're suggesting a permanent solution for a temporary problem. And one that has plenty of solutions.
My friend unexpectedly became a single parent to a 3 year old and a newborn. She also took her husky and pug because he was such a shit he didn't want to help at all. She took them in the car to dog fields to have a run and throw a ball. She got an off road pram to make walks possible.
You can get through this if you want to.

I have also used a trainer multiple times. It has not worked.
either a useless trainer or you've not been consistent, it's not hard to train a dog to walk on a lead, try a halti head collar.
Sounds more like you can't be bothered. Contact a good rescue

That's mean. OP chose to have a baby despite her health conditions yet her daughter has to suffer by losing her much moved pet.

@OneMadSunday
please don't recommend these, they are proven to be very poor in treatment, also it's the owner who needs to train with the dog.

I would get a gentle lease for walking. She should get walked in mcr a day so make it your dd responsibility and if you can afford to get a dog walker a couple times a week.

I have a cockapoo who I adore, but he's never been the easiest dog. He doesn't pull too much, but he can be reactive/alert when seeing other dogs on walks and can veer off at unexpected passers by/children on scooters for a sniff if not correctly managed, making him unpredictable (we've done lots of professional training and manage all this well, but he'll never be 'cured' of it.)

I have a toddler and another on the way, and I always found pram walks bloody impossible. I once scarred my hand quite badly when he veered off unexpectedly, scraping the lead across my other hand that was holding the pram and it pulled all the skin off. Consequently my husband did all of his 'main' walks in the morning and I'd just do a quick round the block in the afternoon, which was always stressful until my toddler started walking confidently, then we'd drive to the woods and run around instead.

The reason I'm sharing is that on some bleaker walks I've thought that if god forbid anything happened to my husband, I would have to rehome my beloved dog because I simply wouldn't be able to manage. If your husband isn't able to support you with the dog day-to-day, then you shouldn't feel bad for not being able to cope. Some people on here are over-simplistic, or have never had dogs that aren't 'easy'. I fully admit we were naive when we got our puppy and we've learnt A LOT about how to manage him as he's got older, but I know our life only functions because the two of us are in it 100% together.

I would consider a regular dog walker if you can, first, to see if that makes things easier, but it's ok to admit you need help.