American XL Bully dog

[BettyALJF]

My ex and I have two sons (7&9) and share them 50/50. His girlfriend has an American XL bully dog that now lives with them. I’ve had reservations about the dog as it’s massive but I can’t stop them having it and know all dogs are different etc. I asked my ex to never leave them unsupervised with the dog, which the boys tell me they are on a morning when they go down for breakfast and their dad and gf stay upstairs and god knows when else. I pick my sons up on Saturday afternoon and the boys tell me that my youngest has been bitten on the ear by the dog on Thursday. My ex didn’t tell me this had happened. Once we are home I look at the bite and it’s pierced the skin. I asked them what happened and he said he got on the sofa and the dog barked at him and got his ear. He said it hurt and bled a lot. They tell me they didn’t go to the drs to get it looked at. Obviously when the skins been broken it can cause an infection, so I ring 111 to ask what to do and they send me to the hospital to get it checked out due to it being a Saturday. The doctor cleans the cut and says they have to report it to the police. I let my ex know all this and he has a go at me saying he didn’t know what I was trying to do and that I should have contacted him to find out what happened. I basically think they’ve not taken him as they are worried what will happen to the dog, therefore not putting our son’s safety first.
Regardless of what happened, it’s pierced the skin and as his father he has a duty of care and he should’ve taken him to the doctors for it to be checked, cleaned and given anti biotics. It may have been an accident, but I don’t want to risk ‘a second offence’ which may be a lot worse next time. I’ve told the police I don’t want the dog in the house when the boys are there, I don’t trust them to put the boys safety first anymore. Would you do the same thing in my situation?

Any dog has the potential to attack without any warning, but this is an XL bully dog. A very heavy powerhouse of a dog that can cause a lot of damage/kill. I wouldn't have your sons there at all with that breed of dog. It could have been so much worse.

I always say that there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. XL Bully dogs are unpredictable and a dog that size/weight it is hard to get under control if they suddenly turn. You are going to worry each time your children are round there. Get him to see them away from the house and away from the dog. Be firm on this and get your children to tell you if ever they are put with the dog.

I am a dog lover but unfortunately with this breed of dog they are all tarred with the same brush, understandably. They are not a family dog and definitely not a dog to have around children.

There is absolutely no point referring this to social services. The mother just needs to make the decision not to send them and report the incident to the police.

Irrelevant. There is nothing for social services to do in this situation.

That’s shocking, I can’t believe they didn’t act, but worse they don’t even bother getting up and leave the kids with the dog. I’m afraid until the dog is gone you need to keep them 100 percent.

This is as unsafe as driving in a car with no seatbelts.

Please take 20 minutes to read, in detail, the XL Bully deaths in the UK in just the past 2 or 3 years. Not one single owner involved had any concerns about their dog, none of them believed it could happen to them.

Do not let your children in that house until you have evidence the dog is gone. I think the dog should be euthanised personally. But be very explicit to your children that none of this is their fault, because I imagine the girlfriend will have other ideas....

Of course there is! SS should always step in if parents aren't keeping their children safe, and this is risk-of-death unsafe.

This is a very worrying incident. The only reason the dog did not rip your son's throat out is that, on this particular occasion, it did not feel inclined to. There is no way a 7 year old could have fought off a full grown XL bully in attack mode. I would not allow the children to go back to a house with that dog in it.

The hospital reported it to the police.

If either the police, hospital or even boys' school think it is warranted they will contact social services. The OP doesn't need to as over stretched SS won't be interested if she does as they expect her, as her kids other parent, to safeguard her own kids by getting them medical attention and not allowing them to go to their dad's house.

The police actually have more powers than SS to safeguard the boys if needed in an emergency. SS need a court order to act. The police can also launch an investigation in to the type of dog it actually is and whether the owner has it legally by removing the dog.

You've misunderstood the role of social services. They exist to step in when nobody is keeping the child safe. In this case there is a responsible mother. Social services have no role to play.

Mothers don't always have the choice to "just not send" their kids to the their father's - you don't know what court orders are in place here.

So sorry OP, what a horrible situation. What did the police actually say when you reported it? No way I would let my children back there.

Then the OP will need to go back to Court with the medical and police reports.

However the OP hasn't mentioned any court orders.

Yes they do when there are safeguarding concerns. If they are able to explain what the risk is of sending them, then the court will not act on the order being breached.
Social Services can’t over ride a court order either, only the court can do that.

You need to go to court to sort out custody arrangements. Make it clear to judge that your ex is neglecting children and putting them in danger. God, I'm so sorry, awful doesn't even cover it. I would not absolutely NOT send my child back into a house with a dog like that. There is a reason they are banned. https://bullywatch.link/

This.

This x 100

If that's the case then OP needs to go back to court. Still not a role for social services.

She doesn't need to go to court at this point, she just needs to stop sending them until the dog is gone. He can go to court if he disagrees.

Agree with pp don't send them there

i think if you can’t get this resolved with your ex sensibly (and let’s be honest-he’s obviously a moron) you have no choice- you have to withhold contact (other than supervised ie at yours/grandparents etc which you should proactively offer) and apply for a variation of your child arrangements order if you have one or you could apply for a specific issue order. Personally I think the problem goes beyond the dog, it’s negligent, reckless parenting not to seek medical attention after a child has been bitten and bled profusely, let alone the fact that the information wasn’t shared with you and the dog wasn’t supervised in the first place. Your kids could’ve been killed.
I have no idea what your experience of court has been, I can recommend an excellent direct access barrister if you Pm me, with reasonable fees who can probably advise you on the best thing to do. Safety comes first. Do whatever you can to minimise conflict with your ex because for now that’s the best thing for your kids. So sorry you’re in this position and so glad that your boys are ok

This isn’t a matter to tip toe around. Take him to the doctors , call social services and report to the police. Do NOT let your child go back to that house. Make it clear to your ex that you don’t want to stop him seeing his children you just want them to be safe and you’re happy for him to come to yours or for him to have them else where. This isn’t some chihuahua that could nip a finger this is a dog that could kill your child In seconds.

Clearly you report to the police. These dogs kill someone every few weeks including since they were 'banned' and restrictions placed. This dog bit your child.
Surely there is only one possible action for an XL Bully that bites a child - police confiscate and put down.
And whoever said would it be better if it was a Pomeranian? Dear Lord! I know which I'd rather go up against.

I'd report ex to ss
Don't let them go round there again op.

It’s a safeguarding issue involving a child. Hence social services.

No SS don't need to be involved like myself, @DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum and a couple of other posters have said.

This is because the OP as the other parent with parental responsibility has sought medical care in a reasonable timeframe and should safeguarding her kids by not sending them to their dad's house.

The police have also been informed. The police have legal powers to safeguard the kids in an emergency plus remove the dog all without having to get a Court Order first. SS have to get a Court Order to do anything. Some deluded social workers may tell you otherwise.