Help me find a (close) replacement kitten for DS

[TheJourneyAhead]

One of my DS has quite significant anxiety. He is 9, but emotionally quite young & has been through a lot with various medical and emotional things going on.

I’d agreed with DS to get him a kitten, and we discussed that kitten would be a nice focus for him if he’s feeling anxious, and he was so very excited and proud at the prospect of caring for said kitten. I felt this may also in some way help regulate some of his anxiety and he loves to care for our neighbours and friends cats.

So we selected a kitten from a supplier, and DS set his heart on the one chosen, including naming him and choosing all the items said kitten would require. DS counting down the days until we can collect him - and I’d booked next Friday off work to be able to do this (also coinciding with an inset day.)

This morning we hear from kitten supplier that sadly kitten has passed away (evidently wasn’t viable and there were no signs or obvious cause, just one of those things, sadly.) I honestly daren’t tell my son - it’s been such a huge focus for him, and he’s been so looking forward to bringing kitten home.

Would the collective MN community have any leads as to a close-ish replacement? This may be a real long shot. But I simply can’t break this to my son until I have a back up plan.

Ideally replacement kitten would be in or around greater London / home counties / SE area.

Image of original kitten enclosed. I do appreciate the kitten is not replaceable but I’m really keen to at least have another close-ish option so I don’t simply come to my son with bad news.

Wow I don't think there are many cats around with those markings. Can you delete all photos and get one similar?

Kitten supplier? Where we're getting this one from?
loads of rescues.
perhaps not tell your son until you collect the kitten

Thanks both - yes, I’m trying with the original supplier. Understandably she’s very upset. That’s a good idea to not break the news until we are actually collecting the replacement. Supplier doesn’t have a similar looking one - but does have other options. So thought I’d cast the net wide and see if any MN collective have leads for similar-ish looking options (appreciate could be a real long shot). But also to get advice. Thanks so much

"Kitten supplier" sounds dodgy.

I think I’d say the kitten is very small so needs to stay with Mum for now and might always need to be with Mum, so you’re getting a different one?

Loads of rehoming places in London. Inner city cats, new moon rescue to name a couple.
Look at adoption- so many kittens in rescue at the moment

You will just have to say the kitten is too poorly to come home, go to a rescue and pick a different one

Sorry I don’t know the term. It was through a reputable and well known pets website. All above board. Term doesn’t sound quite right though, I agree. However, that’s not the focus of my post - so I’d appreciate constructive responses please. This is a genuine plea. My DS mental health is fragile, and as a long term lone parent of 3 who works FT, I’m limited on both time and resources and simply want to do the best I can for him.

Try Thames Valley Animal Rescue based in Berkshire. They have kittens needing homes. Please don’t use a “supplier”.

Thanks for suggestions.

I wouldn't say the kitten had died, I'd say the supplier had got confused and it had already been marked for another family. So ds doesn't have to carry the guilt/worry of another kitten dying.
I also wouldn't get too set on a similar one. I think the idea of having a kitten is the bigger happy thing for him rather than thebexact one.
I hope you manage to find one soon. X

@User17865 that’s a very good approach. I wouldn’t thus even need to break it to him that kitten has died. That would devastate him.

Thanks all for helping me think more clearly on this.

Any chance you'd consider a cat option rather than kitten? Kittens are very cute but you don't know their personalities and actually if your DS has anxiety it may be better to get him a fully socialised mature cat, rescues often have cats that were owned (owner passed away or family circa changed) that are very cuddly and friendly and love curling up on laps. This sounds like the sort of cat your DS needs?

If not I'm not sure you'll find an identical kitten unfortunately. If he's that fixated he will know the difference so I'd recommend just explaining that the kitten is sick first of all and can't come to your home as it's in hospital and then ask him to choose another kitten if the breeder has others (or find a breeder or rescue which does have them). Please make sure you are getting from a reputable breeder though ! Most rescues want you to take pairs of kittens though.

My constructive advice is adopt (from a rescue). Don't be fixated on matching that kitten - all kittens are cute and your son will love 'his' kitten.

Supplier? Good god what is wrong with you? It's a cat delivering a litter not a bloody factory outlet.

@delilabell that is just the kind of advice I needed. I feel very emotional on his behalf and my immediate reaction was how can I make this better. Your approach makes a huge amount of sense - thank you so much x

I would not be using a kitten "supplier" in the first place but sounds very dodgy that it has died. There is lots of awareness now about puppy mills but this sounds like you've fallen victim to a kitten mill where they are looked after poorly and this is why this one has died

http://www.croydonanimalsamaritans.co.uk/index.php/animals-seeking-homes/kittens-seeking-homes

Croydon Animal Samaritans has two sort of similar on their website - scroll down to "Martha's kittens" and "Tia".

I agree that saying the kitten had been reserved by someone else is a better way to go.

I would really avoid this "supplier" - it sounds like a kitten farming operation, & think how devastated your child would be if you brought home another kitten from them which also died?

I'd really suggest reading this - https://www.gov.uk/government/news/lucys-law-vets-reveal-the-true-cost-of-puppy-and-kitten-farms

Rescue kittens really are a great option - they are often raised in Foster homes so well socialised, & will have had vet checks, vaccines, worm & flea treatment, microchip & may even already be neutered.

My gorgeous boy cost £90 from the RSPCA & all of that was already done, & he's brilliant.

Most rescues will want to re-home kittens in pairs. Would you consider a slightly older cat?

@KateyCuckoo I have explained the term was clumsy but I was not sure of correct term. I mean the lady who I have been liaising with who is selling the kitten to us. Clearly my post was in good faith, and the point was not a poor use of word.

1. there are no reputable “pet supplier” websites. There are sites like pets4homes which are basically Gumtree for cats and dogs. They do no checks on sellers and are no guarantee of anything. Most people selling kittens on there have just let their females mate with a random Tom to have a litter to deliberately make money, or just couldn’t be bothered getting her spayed. Either way, it’s not responsible pet ownership.
2. it’s fairly rare for kittens to die at this age, tbh. They quite often die in the first 72 hours, but if they make it through then they’ve got a pretty good chance. This could have been one of those rare things, but it raises a huge red flag tbh especially if you’re using pets4homes or similar.
3. that’s a beautiful kitten but you’re going to struggle to replace it with another with similar markings. However this is kitten season so rescues are overrun with kittens currently. Please contact a rescue and leave the online sites and ask them. You will need to focus on prepping DS that he isn’t getting this particular kitten (maybe the owner decided to keep it after all?) but he can choose another one.

@DisplayPurposesOnly great advice - and thanks.

I would also advise getting an older cat. Kittens, especially a single kitten, can be a nightmare, scratching and biting and leaping out at you when playing.

An older, more settled cat will be more predictable and their personalities more obvious.

And definitely from a rescue not a ‘supplier’