Help me find a (close) replacement kitten for DS

[TheJourneyAhead]

One of my DS has quite significant anxiety. He is 9, but emotionally quite young & has been through a lot with various medical and emotional things going on.

I’d agreed with DS to get him a kitten, and we discussed that kitten would be a nice focus for him if he’s feeling anxious, and he was so very excited and proud at the prospect of caring for said kitten. I felt this may also in some way help regulate some of his anxiety and he loves to care for our neighbours and friends cats.

So we selected a kitten from a supplier, and DS set his heart on the one chosen, including naming him and choosing all the items said kitten would require. DS counting down the days until we can collect him - and I’d booked next Friday off work to be able to do this (also coinciding with an inset day.)

This morning we hear from kitten supplier that sadly kitten has passed away (evidently wasn’t viable and there were no signs or obvious cause, just one of those things, sadly.) I honestly daren’t tell my son - it’s been such a huge focus for him, and he’s been so looking forward to bringing kitten home.

Would the collective MN community have any leads as to a close-ish replacement? This may be a real long shot. But I simply can’t break this to my son until I have a back up plan.

Ideally replacement kitten would be in or around greater London / home counties / SE area.

Image of original kitten enclosed. I do appreciate the kitten is not replaceable but I’m really keen to at least have another close-ish option so I don’t simply come to my son with bad news.

@Tygertiger thanks very much indeed, much appreciated.

I was somewhat in shock so hadn’t really thought about the best way to broach it.

she has other options? How many litters of kittens does she have right now?

How about Celia Hammond? She's in London and they're always inundated with kittens.

If you were buying a kitten of homes4pets and one died I'd be very suspicious of what was going on behind the scenes. Responsible people do not allow moggies to have kittens let alone charge for them.

Your local vets will probably know someone who's rehoming kittens.

I agree with the adoption advice, as well as getting a pair. They will play with each other, possibly settle in faster, and generally be easier to look after.

Obviously you'll be the one who is ultimately responsible for them though!

@nevynevster that’s incredibly helpful. Thank you

I second Celia Hammond. I've had three kittens from there and they are all really REALLY affectionate- I think they socialise them very thoroughly. Almost not cat-like in fact!!

@SoupDragon thanks so much

Don't buy a kitten being advertised on pets at home, gumtree & the like. They might seem genuine, there might even be the odd genuine person who has a cat with a litter, but on the whole they're breeding cats again & again, destroying the mother cat for money. Often then giving the used mother cat to people for dog bait. It's a vile 'industry' and any can fake a few tears.

with a 9yo you'd be FAR better off getting a young cat. Kittens are cute, but they're biting/scratching machines, until they grow up a bit. It takes ages to be a living companion for a child and might make DS feel worse, thinking the cat hates him.

also with a young cat you can better assess their temperament, whereas a kitten might turn out to be an outdoor all day cat or aloof & want to be left alone.

look at small, local rescues & ring them even if all the available cars saud 'no chikdren'

Thanks @ThursdayFreedom so we will go for a rescue option and young, socialised cat ideally rather than a kitten. Brilliant advice

My first thought too. This makes me really sad. It's kitten season and rescues are full to bursting.

I think deceiving your son, albeit with good intentions, is the wrong thing to do.

I don't agree that an adult cat is better with a child. Our old cat stayed as far away from DS as possible, even though DS was very kind, gentle, quiet with him. He just wasn't used to children and cats are quite set in their ways IME from relatively early adulthood.
He died last year at a grand old age and we now have a kitten, he follows DS everywhere, they play together, the kitten seeks him out, they meow to each other, it's all very sweet. So if you're looking for a companion for your DS I would go for a kitten.
We found it difficult because DS is younger and lots of rescues wouldn't re-home with us. I used a smaller local one and whilst they state no under 9s, I spoke to the manager explained DS is very used to animals and how to behave with them, has lived with a cat from birth and his grandparents essentially have a menagerie so he's also used to horses, dogs (including fosters as MIL volunteers with a dog rehoming charity), chickens and others , they did a home check and met DS and approved us for a kitten.
We were meant to be getting two, there was a cat who had two in the rescue centre but one died shortly after birth, so we just have the one.

Thanks all.

She’s got one litter.

@DRS1970 I wasn’t so much planning on “deceiving” him so much as planning to break the news together with a good, well planned and (somewhat similar) option, if that makes sense. He’s a very observant boy and with unusual markings there’s no way I’d pass off another kitten as the same - but wanted a good plan B in place for him.

I’ve contacted Celia Hammond. Great advice

If it's on pets4homes it's almost certainly dodgy. Go to a rescue.

That’s very helpful @UndercoverCop. My kids are late primary (twins are 9) and secondary (11) so I think are a good age to welcome a pet into their lives, and are very keen.

Hello - I have mentioned this rescue before on here but they are excellent. Protected Paws in SW London. Run by a veterinary nurse, Kerry, out of the vets practice. They frequently have kittens, and indeed young cats. She heals injured cats and looks after them until they are ready for fostering and rehoming. You can look them up on Facebook and nextdoor etc.

Bentley - photo attached - is just one of the kittens that Protected Paws has on FB atm. Not very different from your original markings?

Only posting because one of the cat rescues I follow has a new addition and reminded me of your original picture , I have no idea when this kitten will be available to be rehomed , but Kitten is a beauty , if the link doesn’t work , it is at Wisteria Cat Rescue in Kent , run by Billy .

thanks @friskybivalves ! x

Anyone who talks about a kitten supplier and a replacement really shouldn’t be able to have a cat. 🚩 You have a lot to learn before you’re a suitable owner. No doubt this ‘supplier’ is as bad.

Have you considered telling your ds the truth and supporting him in dealing with it? If he never hears anything bad he won't get the chance to develop resilience and coping skills.

Are you WFH FT or out of the house ?
If you aren't WFH then a kitten being left alone is very unfair .

Adult cats once they are settled and have access to outside will just sleep and potter about .

@Nothingbuttheglory My first reaction was to tell him the truth, but of course soften it with a good, viable plan B. eg not just bad news - which would devastate him. Bad and realistic news, together with a plan in place. Other advice seems to be less geared towards the truth. Either way, when I tell him, I simply wanted a plan in place.

However, my DS is certainly not shrouded from anything bad or restricted from developing resilience. He’s been through multiple medical, emotional and social interventions, disability and bereavement in the family, and I’m a long term single parent to him. Our daily lives are full of the normal ups and downs of the big bad realistic world out there. But I also simply want to do something nice for him. He’s been so happy since we made this plan.

And @KittyRetreat the point of my post is not that I’m expert on pet ownership (grew up with family cats, but not owned one since), but advice and pointers. By replacement - I simply mean a plan B.

@TheJourneyAhead I’m fully WFH and have been long term. Wouldn’t consider it otherwise.