I'm not cut out for owning a dog but we have a 9 week old puppy

[ItsMyTurn]

I am totally stressed and exhausted

Come on now!!
Stand up straight, tits out and breathe.
You can do this.
Take a good look at the hints and advice

My teens help out with our dog also, as does my 10 yo - not as an arranged thing, it's more ad hoc, but each of them probably walks her for about 15 mins twice a week.

DD, who is 13, usually has a good play session with her when she gets in from school. Nothing too arduous, but it breaks up the dog's day a bit and make me feel less guilty about the short walks she gets with me.

This phase is very intense but it will get better and you'll have the dog you'd fantasised about. It's a question of getting through it as best you can, and telling yourself you can cope.

You mentioned your insomnia - could you get help with that? (I'm sure you've tried, but just a thought).

shineon - I am anxious and stressed! But I wasn't before I got our puppy. What hte fuck is hte matter with me?! What a twat

As I said earlier, I genuinely felt the same as when I'd suffered PND when we first had our puppy. Getting the jabs done makes a huge difference as just getting them out for a change of scene seems to start to alter the whole dynamic.
And you can start practising 'come!' if you take someone else with you. It's so cute and endearing when you first see them start to react to commands and treats.

that's encouraging WWWY. I have been weepy and feeling so down since we got her. I really don't know what the fuck is wrong with me! I should adopt yoru name! It is extraordinary - esp since it ws my idea to get her. Well thought through, not a rash, irresponsible decision. I jsut had no idea that it would make me feel like this. I feel totally down! And now the prospect of having to rehome her and break my children's little hearts (albeit temporarily) is horrid. I swing from one thought ot another. By evening tiem I usually feel better but all day I feel exhausted and so low. I cannot make sense of it at all.

Some people I was acquainted with got a puppy about the same time we did; I heard the woman's husband left the family home for a couple of weeks because the stress just got all too much.
Not to be underestimated. I suppose, for me, I felt I'd fallen back under the black cloud, but DH and the DCs were so thrilled to have her and it didn't even occur to me that returning her was even a possibility.
Plus hearing this other family's tales of woe made me realise it could have been a lot worse.

My DS is 3 and I am 6 months preg with my 2nd. I also have a 17 week old puppy, been planned for a long time.
Puppies are hard work, but they change and grow up so quickly. If you can crack the toilet training it eases the pressure, I agree with others on here, ditch the newspaper. Get her outside lots especially as soon as she wakes, after feeding and after playing, if you see the signs she needs to go - pick her up and take her outside and wait til she does go, it gets quicker each time.
My pup also wants to wake early 5:30 :-( but we are gradually leaving him longer and longer.
I hope you stick with it as they are such fun, but equally no point in you being overly stressed about it all.

wwwy -mmof - I really really want this puppy - i really do but i really really cannot hack feeling like this. I have been trhough a lot ad i mean A LOT in the past few years and am just coming out the other side and did not expect a puppy to make me feel so emotional, restricted and anxious. But she truly is gorgeous and my children love her. Will try ot add a pic to my profile so you cansee her yoruself. Am totally and utterly torn.

rehoming my puppy tomorrow . It is for the best. My children are incredibly upset - so am I but I cannot cope with the level of stress the poor little mite is causing me. She is going to a great home. My sister's dog walker walks a dog for a childless couple who's yorkie is elderly and terminally ill. They are devoted to their dog, work from home and will be far better equipped than I am for dog ownership. I feel utterly depressed and despairing. Whatever I decided to do I would feel bad but at least this way my sadness will hpefully be short term not long term. It has made me realised how vulnerable I am right now wht all that has happened the last 18 mths

You have made a brave decision, based on your needs and the needs of the dog. You are totally doing the right thing , I know its very hard but I really respect you.
The dog should add to the household not detract, so you are not being flakey, but a good owner who cares about dogs welfare.
One day when things are better you may do the dog owning thing, when the time is right. Good for you.

girlsscout - Thank you for your encouraging words. did you see her pic on my profile? You will understand why I am breaking my heart to let her go

Take care.x

have now heard they cannot take her until Saturday - If she is going she needs to go soon as I am now thinking that I cannot bear to let her go. I am a mess!! Lots of people feel overwhelmed by new puppies - I have trawled dog forum sites! My son plays so beautifully with her. and she has begun to terrorise the cats which is hilarious. so torn

You've made a very tough decision, and it's only two more days until your pup can start their new life. It sounds as though they are very caring owners who will provide a lovely home. Am not sure if it's possible, but quite often in these cases, the new owners might be willing to send you pics by email sometimes, or give you little updates. We foster dogs, and get very attached, and it's lovely when the new owners do this as you really miss them.

I agree with Girlscout - sometimes the responsible dog owner is the one who doesn't have the dog - and don't forget that your pup is still young enough to settle well into a new home. Imagine the difficulties if you gave them up when they were a "teenager" - it would be very difficult for you and the dog.

so, update, i talked to dd about taking responsibility for the puppy and spending time playing with her when she can. The buyer was dithering about and didn't even want to meet Tilly before she took her. We are keeping our puppy and family are helping to supervise her for toilet training when I need to go out. Today worked out well with my niece coming over as I had to go out for about 3 hrs today to dd's school. I still feel a bit 'oh fuck' but nowhere near as ridiculously teary and depressed as I awas feeling. I know it is hard work now and having got through well over a week I do feel I can do this. It is for the good of my dc's too as they have had enough losses in their life without me putting them throuhg another one.

Call the vets - most do puppy socialisation classes so you can take her there before jabs. Might sound a bit lame - but kind of like meeting up with a postnatal group and comparing notes with your newborn!! Does get easier - I remember feeling like we'd made no progress with house training etc but then suddenly after a few weeks it's like our pup has always been there and she fits in perfectly around us.

Best of luck.

mamalocco - thanks for advice re: puppy socialisation classes. Are you allowed to take them if they are not toilet trained? I am longing to be able to talke about toilet training in the past and not as a current event! It is an absolute chore!

Definately! The first class I went to one of the other pups peed, pooed and puked within the first 20 minutes!! They expect it - there will be puppy pads/mop in the corner! Its a huge relief knowing others are going through the same thing - bit like seeing someone else's toddler throwing a tantrum!

i will defo give that a go then.. feels a bit like an uphill struggle at the moment! talkingto others going through the same frustratinos will be good for me. Thanks [snile]

You need to change the settings on your profile as it's not active at the moment :) IF Tilly is staying, I need to see her photo!

oh no! how do i do that ?? I posted them yesterday. if you are on FB ou could see the pics will try again tomoz - Tilly tends to wake up rather early so am a bit shattered!

i think I have done it! There are certainly pics there - not sure if you can access them. Let me know if youwould. Ta IMT

Nope - I can't see your profile at all - I think you must have to 'make it public' somehow? I'll go and have a look at mine to see if I can see what you need to do.

Right - you need to go to MyMumsnet, Public Profile and right at the bottom you have to change it to Make my profile public :)

ItsMyTurn, you mentioned the "buyer" was dithering about - were you trying to sell your pup?