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I'm not cut out for owning a dog but we have a 9 week old puppy

83 replies

ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 08:00

I am totally stressed and exhausted Sad

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ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 11:23

i have three cats so we do have pets which the childen love. i think i will have to re-home her. feel very sad and sorry

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RumourOfAHurricane · 08/05/2011 11:25

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ItsMyTurn · 08/05/2011 13:00

thank you Boo - about 20 mins ecah time

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Vallhala · 08/05/2011 22:40

Itsmyturn, I think that you and maybe some others on here are being a bit hasty and that you're panicking my love.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I take it you're a mum? And, if so, remember when it was all so new and so confusing, with conflicting advice and you were knackered, overwhelmed and unsure?

So it is with dogs and pups. It takes time. We contented owners were all novice dog owners once.

Tell us more about your pup.... what breed? Where did you get him from (breeder? rescue? friend?)?

And about you and your family... lets see if we can give you support and tips.

It DOES get easier... he won't ALWAYS need constant toileting and supervision, just as a baby won't. Once he's had his vaccinations you can take him out and wear him out (admittedly only short walks for growing bones), fitting him in with your schedule.

And when he's had his vaccs, training classes will be a great boon. He'll not only learn how to behave, to sit, stay, not to run off or bark and pull at other dogs but how to be socilaised and to cope with all manner of things and creatures he'll meet and YOU will meet a good support network. Worth asking your vet or local rescue for recommendations now. Likewise if you know of a good rescue locally get in touch with them and see if you can find other people in your position or who have been there and join the forums of DogPages and BigGSD (it's a German Shepherd forum full of rescuers and committed owners but their chat section welcomes all dog owners). My own local rescue, for whom I'm a volunteer, also has a very friendly and welcoming forum with members from across the UK and beyond and we'd be happy to support and advise you. You'll find us HERE - please do join us, we will do all we can and have some very knowledgable members as well as having the committed and caring rescue owners, who have helped a few MNers, on board.

It DOES get easier, honest.

ItsMyTurn · 09/05/2011 09:31

valhalla thankyou for your words of support! She is a 9 week old yorkie/bichon cross. I have a 13 yo dd and 4 yo ds who are enamoured with her already! I got her from a private breeder who has the Yorkie mother - she was studded out to a Bichon breeder.

The thing that concerns me most is the sleeping issue - I am totaly exhausted already as she wakes and whines throughout the night and as a long time insomnia suffer who is having agood sleeping spell right now it is unnerviung to be back to square one. Also the wee/poo thing. She has not got a clue about going on paper - when she prepares for a wee/poo (circling/snifing) I pop her on teh paper and she gets off and doesn't go at all. I repeat this when I catch her again adn she just holds it until she can go on teh floor Sad. When she is in teh garden and pees/poos out there she gets treats and cuddles and prause but I cannot forever live in my garden!!

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RumourOfAHurricane · 09/05/2011 09:44

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ItsMyTurn · 09/05/2011 09:52

ok.. so should just stikc to garden then? What about when i go out (not actually left her for more than 1 hour thus far though will have to go out for longer soonish!) So I should just do garden? Get rid of paper? I am giving her mixed ,messages because I am getting mixed mssages I guess. Most people advocate paper gradujally moving it nearer the door. It is all rather confusing

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RumourOfAHurricane · 09/05/2011 10:48

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ItsMyTurn · 09/05/2011 13:44

shineon - that is good advice thanks. The puppy crate thing sounds good (I have heard from a few sources now that they are a must so I will get one today) Do you shut the door on it? If so, every time or just at night). What's a puppy pad? Like an inco pad Grin??

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RumourOfAHurricane · 09/05/2011 16:25

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ItsMyTurn · 09/05/2011 19:55

filled puppy kong?! Confused, you speak in tongues! Grinwhat is that?!

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WhatsWrongWithYou · 09/05/2011 21:52

Let me explain! It's a rubber dog toy, sort of an elongated ball with a hole running through it, or a fat tube, and you put treats in it or smear something like peanut butter, marmite or cheese spread around the rim.

The dog worries it and chews at it to get the treat, keeping it occupied and giving its jaws and teeth a bit of exercise. Our dog invariably trots out to the garden and loses hers. must buy a new one...

I agree the crate is a boon at the puppy stage as they won't dirty it, so it's great forcwhen you need to pop out.
And some puppies do like to use them as a haven. It's good to have a rule for the DCs that they're not allowed to go near when the dog has chosen to retreat there - although I have to say ours very rarely did, she likes company.

Ellie02 · 09/05/2011 22:03

itsmyturn We got a puppy last july and i felt the same, anxious, exhausted pissed off wanted to rehome him soon after, I had grown up with dogs and felt like I knew what I was doing, researched it before getting him, fast forward after the toilet training etc he is now lovely and such a good companion for me and my family (my 2.5 year old adores him) and he adores her. We have went through many issues with him chewing, he also went through a wee snappy stage but it was just him learning and being a puppy I think its called mouthing really, anyway he is past alot of that and am so glad we kept him. Give it another few weeks if you can also we put a ticking clock and hot water bottle in his bed after the first night of no sleep and he settled really well with it.

ItsMyTurn · 09/05/2011 22:34

Ellie02- i am now determined to keep our new baby. she is delightful and I know she wil bring us so much pleasure - I just really really panicked and thought that ,if I had made the wrong decision, then it would be best to rectify it sooner rather than later. I have calmed down considerably and, despite craving my sleep again, I am wiling to put in the hours to get things right. Hearing other peoples experiences has been invaluable again (thank you MN Smile and I will continue to dip in on my threads fior support and aadvice. Thanks

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ItsMyTurn · 10/05/2011 08:08

so last nigh she went in her crate, slept 11 - 7am when I came down - not a peep! Not expecting that every night but it certainly was a change from previous nights! Smile

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Ellie02 · 10/05/2011 22:40

Ah good fingers crossed for tonight :)

ItsMyTurn · 11/05/2011 10:08

I really am finding this difficult. I am so torn. It is exhausting me. I am so worried all teh time. I jsut don't kow whta to do. She woke me at 6:10am Sad and I am so tired. I explained ot my dd last night tat I may not be to keep her becuase I am finding it so hard and she was really really upset - understandably. My ds is 4and half so would recover if she were to be rehomed but is also a massive consideration for me. I jsut don;t kow what to do. In my heart of hearts I feel I have made a terrible mistake but she is so adorable and good natured, I feel gutted with myself for even considering rehoming.

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RumourOfAHurricane · 11/05/2011 12:32

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ItsMyTurn · 11/05/2011 13:11

shineon - i am so so torn. I did realise they were hard work - I have had dogs before but I am finding this extremely hard. I keep thnking that I have not given her a chance yet and she really is so beautiful. But the overwhelming feeling is that of being trapped. I didn' go downstairs until 7am when I usually get up but I was still awake and worried. I know of someone who will rehome her. I have aired my worries to my sister who has two dogs and she has a network of dog owner friends and knows of someone who will rehome her if i decide i cannot continue. My main concern is that I am being hasty but I also know that wehn ds starts school in Sept and dd (age 13) is getting so busy schoolwork and socialising wise, it will be entirely left to me to take care of Tilly. I am so confused and tired.

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ChippingIn · 11/05/2011 14:00

To be perfectly honest, I really think you need to call the breeder and tell them that you can't cope. They may have a list of people that did want a puppy that they had to turn away. I don't think it's fair to have only had her a week and to rehome her to a stranger without calling the breeder.

You sound incredibly anxious and I think this is not the right time for you to have a dog, let alone a puppy. Maybe one day you will be ready for the enormous committment required but I still suggest that when you are you get a dog rather than a puppy.

I know your DD will be upset, but you will just have to say you are very sorry and that you have made a big mistake. The biggest concern here is the puppy and the puppy needs a new home.

Please call the breeder.

x

mamalocco · 11/05/2011 14:09

This newborn stage doesn't last forever - think it took quite a while with our pup - maybe 2 months to be completely house trained. I can leave her for up to about 4 hours at a time now and have just found a local dog walker/sitter for days when we need to be out longer.

Try to think beyond the next few weeks - do you want to have a dog in your life? I have been where you are - we got a labrador puppy a couple of years ago. We had reserved her before she was born and had weekly updates from the breeder. Thought it was what I wanted, then the moment we got home I realised this wasn't a practical choice for us. When she jumped up her paws were on top of dd1 (4) head and this was a 9 weeks old! I felt awful having built the kids up about getting the dog only to take it away from them. Felt in a constant state of panic, kept thinking 'what have I done?!' I took her back to breeder the next day in floods of tears. The puppy found a new home the very next day.

We got our (current!) pup 5 months ago and she is the perfect dog for us. I like having company around the house, I like going for a walk over the park and I like having her sit on my lap in the evening. I like the interaction the kids have with her. Do you want this?

ItsMyTurn · 11/05/2011 14:10

the breeder wont answer her phone. lewft messages but now her mailbox is full. my dd is in tears at school but ultimately it is not her who has to taek care of our puppy. She is a busy teen and I know I don;t want her to be burdened by my mistake either way. feel utterly shit

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ChippingIn · 11/05/2011 14:17

OK - well, is there any reason that your DD can't be the one to take care of the puppy? Why can't she be the one getting up at night/in the morning with her. Walking her before school? Training her?

I was a teenager when I got my dog and although my parents wanted her and loved her and knew she would live there all her life (and I'd probably move out before that etc) she was my responsibility - to get up with, to walk, to feed, to train, to keep company etc

RumourOfAHurricane · 11/05/2011 14:19

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RumourOfAHurricane · 11/05/2011 14:19

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