Please sign and share?

[howdeydudey]

I've noticed over the years that various individuals and organisations create petitions that sound really promising, but the support gets fragmented across them.

If we all pulled together and supported just one petition, we might get enough signatures and traction to actually make something happen?

With that in mind, could we perhaps all sign and share the following? Share with family, friends, anyone who might possibly sign. And ask them to make sure they share too?

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/603110

@Inspectorslack

One of mine had a breakdown over the heads of 2 2 3. It was child mental health services who recommended it move to week about. My ex wanted 2 2 3 as he didn’t want to go a protracted period without seeing them. It had to go to court in the end.

I spent half my evenings during the 2 2 3 going up and down the road to their dads with stuff either they or he had forgotten and needed.

My ex used it to control me.

But again. You won’t believe me. Because I’m only a woman.

Which actually tells me all I need to know about your support for this petition

I'm not even looking at if you are a male or female.

You are making a lot of assumptions here.

Which tells me all I need to know about your lack of support for this petition.

BTW - I'd quite happily do a week about, if that was what the children said they'd prefer. I have no affinity to 2-2-3 at all. It's just what they said they preferred. I actually think a week about would be better - but their mother has made them scared of it by applying emotional blackmail about how "upset" and "worried" she gets when they are away from her.

@Inspectorslack

Please stop directing your passive aggressive smilies at me. It’s rude. I’m asking you directly to stop.

Schoolbooks got left at the wrong houses. And I had to deliver them to the children.

They didn’t have two consoles or two laptops.

Or two sets of specialist gym competition wear.

They ended up having to take weekend bags to school to carry what they needed once they were at secondary school. That’s not fair when they were getting buses

I’m speaking from experience. You choose to frame that as making it personal.

You do realise that even if you have one parent with contact, say, every other weekend and one evening in the week, you still have the same problem with laptops, gym gear etc?

You are brining up arguments which aren't at all relevant to the discussion.

A week about is totally fine too - just one day per week to hand over stuff then.

The petition doesn't suggest 2-2-3 or any particular arrangement. It merely says equal time.

We can keep going over specific cases, but it's a waste of effort. The basic premise remains the same.

I will stop the smiles, however you know you don't have to read these forums if you don't want to. Rather than ordering others to change their communication style, perhaps just stop reading?

Perhaps stop being patronising?

[quote howdeydudey]I've noticed over the years that various individuals and organisations create petitions that sound really promising, but the support gets fragmented across them.

If we all pulled together and supported just one petition, we might get enough signatures and traction to actually make something happen?

With that in mind, could we perhaps all sign and share the following? Share with family, friends, anyone who might possibly sign. And ask them to make sure they share too?

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/603110[/quote]
Nope

Not if you can't be bothered to put what the petition is for in the title or the op

@Inspectorslack

Perhaps stop being patronising?

"I BF one of mine til to DH were 3.5. I really don’t need to google."

I would say this is patronising. What, so what you do naturally represents the whole nation, does it? You don't need to check, because your experience means you must be right?

www.who.int/health-topics/breastfeeding#tab=tab_1

"Breastfeeding is one of the most effective ways to ensure child health and survival. However, nearly 2 out of 3 infants are not exclusively breastfed for the recommended 6 months"

I'm not an expert. So yes, I Google and see what those that are say. I think that's less patronising than scoffing at others and assuming that I'm right just because I did something a certain way.

I think the only way that this would work for children is if they stayed in one home and the parents took turns at living with them/living somewhere else. I am the only person with PR for my child and I’m so grateful for that to prevent the disruption this kind of arrangement would cause them.

@SmellinOfTroy a very good point.

It won't let me edit it :(

So I'll create another post that does have that in it. Thank you for the help.

www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding

I would happily have sacrificed my career in order to raise the children. But it made no sense as a family, as I was the higher earner. So I actually consider it that I made the higher sacrifice

Eh?

[quote Inspectorslack]www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding[/quote]
This is great.

So can I assume that if the petition said "children over the age of 2 should by default share time equally between both parents" you'd support it?

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

I would happily have sacrificed my career in order to raise the children. But it made no sense as a family, as I was the higher earner. So I actually consider it that I made the higher sacrifice

Eh?

Either myself or the mother had to work full time to pay the bills. The children would lose out on contact with one of us either way.

I'd have preferred that neither of us had to work. But one of us did. And for the sake of the family, it made more sense that I worked.

I made a sacrifice in the best interests of the children. Now they are at school, and I work from home a lot more, and the mother has to work to pay her bills, things aren't the same.

What actual relevance does some random petition about equal time with parents mean you think I’d support children being removed from their mother if still being BF? Two years is a minimum it’s not a fucking target.

@Bundlesofchocforme

I think the only way that this would work for children is if they stayed in one home and the parents took turns at living with them/living somewhere else. I am the only person with PR for my child and I’m so grateful for that to prevent the disruption this kind of arrangement would cause them.

That is actually quite a radical idea and one I'd never considered. But it surely is worth at least a discussion.

Sure - it would be a nightmare for the parents, but at the end of the day this should be purely about the children's best interests.

I for one would be happy to consider this.

@Inspectorslack

What actual relevance does some random petition about equal time with parents mean you think I’d support children being removed from their mother if still being BF? Two years is a minimum it’s not a fucking target.

So you'd agree with the petition as long as the children - at whatever age - weren't being BF?

I didn’t say I would agree with the petition. In fact, in my very first post on this thread I explicitly said I disagreed with it.

@Inspectorslack

What actual relevance does some random petition about equal time with parents mean you think I’d support children being removed from their mother if still being BF? Two years is a minimum it’s not a fucking target.

@Inspectorslack I appreciate that breastfeeding seems to be a very emotive topic for you.

But I think you've missed the point. Whatever benefits it brings, and I do agree it does, only 0.5% of mothers still breastfeed at 12 months old.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44301125

And the percentage of those who's parents separate while they are being breastfed is small.

So the % of children this topic affects is.... extremely small. And as the petition is about the needs of children in general - as in the largest percentages - the topic of BF is really not relevant.

I've already agreed that BF is one reason that certainly should make a difference. However, this would only apply to a tiny percentage of the cases.

@Inspectorslack

I didn’t say I would agree with the petition. In fact, in my very first post on this thread I explicitly said I disagreed with it.

And there is my point.

You are looking for any reason to disagree, rather than being open-minded. Your mind is already made up, so you end up referring to things which actually make no difference to the premise of the petition.

I appreciate your personal situation, and views, are different. And more than that, I appreciate your efforts to keep this topic at the top of the forum list.

However, so far you've not provided anything that should cause someone to think that in general, children would be better off with a shared, equal access to both caring, loving parents.

As an experiment, what would be your method of apportioning contact for a child with two mothers, or two fathers?

Sorry - I meant "wouldn't be better off"

I am giving you the benefit of experience

My children are now grown and we have discussed it as adults (as they are now), both in the house and in joint counselling sessions and they have expressed how much they hated 50/50 and wanted to have a home place.

But I expect you to dismiss my lived experience yet again.

I will not be engaging further with you.

I regard anyone who believes in experimenting on children to be abhorrent.

Do please remember to keep any discussion about the topic and away from personal attacks.Thank you.

@EstherMumsnet

Do please remember to keep any discussion about the topic and away from personal attacks.Thank you.

My apologies. I perhaps shouldn't have bitten, but I found the

"And you’re being patronising and dismissive.

I think that says quite a lot about you.

I and my children tried 2 2 3. For almost 6 months. They hated it. But I expect you to dismiss that because misogyny innit"

to be a personal attack on me?

Most of the cases that go to family court involve safeguarding concerns though, it's not like most people enjoy it.