A Viscous Attack # 3

[Catspace]

Ding, ding, round 3 of the highly entertaining collection of misspellings, misuse and general bastardisation of language. The floor is youre’s x

Filling cabinets, are they what dentists keep their patients' notes in??

I think they're popular with sewists with a keen interest in making soft toys or quilts. They prefer cupboards on castors.

Sewists is just ridiculous 😠. When we're on the subject of fabric and thread nobody's going to think we're pipes that carry shit, it's pathetic.

I aim to provoke please. Sewist is dreadful and not AFAIK a word.

One of the most astonishing advertisements I ever came across on Facebook was for someone selling some ‘thirniture’. I’m sure I’ve posted this before but I think it deserves a special second mention

Is ‘thirniture’ previously pre-loved pre-loved furniture?

No, but I can understand hesitancy about announcing 'I am a sewer'.

Seamstress - seems or sem(p)s?

I’ve not managed to work that one out x

Or as I often say, "language degrades".

@Whosthetabbynow , Third-hand furniture portmanteau word.

@DeanElderberry , I sew.

@BrickBiscuit , there was a recent discussion on MN about decimate. As you say, language degrades.

You sew, I am a needlewoman, he is a textile artist.

and he's a sewer

I think it was someone who uses a ‘th’ sound instead of ‘f’ at the beginning of the word.

Hello - I dip into this thread from time to time, and I recently came across this poem by Brian Bilston which made me think of you all - enjoy!

@DeanElderberry , seamstress to me is the female version of a tailor.
A seamstress would make tailored or made-to-measure clothes.
A dressmaker would be someone who makes clothes at home.

@theministerscat , Brian Bolton | Mumsnet

@theministerscat Marvellous! Heads off to Mr Bilston!

Ah yes, the dinning table. Polished till it’s nice and shinny, no doubt. You can sit at it to eat your tunna pasta, while tunning in your radio.
(All the above abominations seen recently on an American forum connected with my husband’s hobby. He gets nearly as angry as me.)

Whilst enjoying a nice half of larger x

agree, but was wondering about the pronunciation. I have heard sempstress and wondered is that correct or archaic or regional?

I've now looked it up and it's archaic, which makes sense. The person I knew who used it was American, and US English, like Hiberno-English, often retains older forms.

Being a denizen of the Discworld, ‘seamstress’ has acquired a different connotation!😂

Vague memories stirring. It is just over 11 years since I last read Pratchett - must be nearly time to go back. Not just yet though.

I was reading him while I sat beside my father's deathbed. Thursday was the anniversary, THAT VISITOR turned up shortly before 3.00 pm, and everything about the angle of the light and the birdsong and the garden has been pushing me back there. So Discworld soon but not yet.

Not to be confused with ladies of negotiable affection.

kahoonas (seen on an MN thread today)

Stray letters find their way into words. Larger 🍺 and hampster 🐹 spring to mind.

The kahoonas were cojones, I think.