Amazed how many parents are happy to leave their 4 year olds with complete strangers at a party

[emkana]

It was dd's b'day party yesterday, there were 30 children there, so really busy, and a lot of the invitees I had never seen before as dd has just started school and I just invited "blindly" from the class list. I was amazed how many parents left their offspring happily there even though they didn't know us at all, and how happy the children were to be left! Not being judgemental, just interesting how different people are!

One mother was telling me that her ds has a "toilet problem" and could I make sure he would go to the loo if he wiggled around? I felt a bit out of my depth with that, as I was trying to run a party with 30 children so a bit of a struggle to keep an eye on him as well! So even more astounded that she didn't stay!

I'm classed as a paranoid/over-anxious mother by my friends but recently left my dd (4 yrs) at a soft-play centre party because we know the hosts extremely well, the place wasn't huge (although it was noisy) and dd behaved as if she was confident to be left (she's generally very sociable and outgoing and has been very happy to be left at 2 parties in private houses). She didn't give us a backward glance when we went to be honest ...

Anyway, we picked her up 2 hours later and she was beaming and said she had had a great time. However, when I put her to bed that night she told me that she had cried for us at the party and "the lady" (soft-play staff) had picked her up and taken her for a bit of cake and a glass of juice and then she was OK.

Now when we pass the place where the party was held she always says "I want to go back to another party Mummy". So I guess I'm just saying (long-windedly) that it's not ALWAYS a disaster if a child is crying at a party. My daughter learnt that you can sometimes feel uncomfortable in social situations but that it is possible to feel better and go on and have a really lovely time.

Totally different scenario of course if there aren't a sufficient number of staff on hand to look after those in distress!

But do you think it is okay for Bernard's mum to look after eight children on her own?... (going back to Alfie...) I don't think I would want to do that!

i always try and chuck the parents out! the kids are so much easier without their parents there, they really engage in the games and play along, and its just fine. when the parents are there it is too full up, they all try and talk to me when i am also trying to run a party, it gets really stressful and i don't do the afult chatting or the kids games properly and I just look longingly at a big bottle of gin all day.

How old is your Dd?

I haven't left any of mine when they were 3. but I certainly have once they are 4/5.

And toilet problem - well you coped didn't you? No major disasters there! its all part of the fun, and it is a stark reminder that children';s parties in your house shoudl only ever last a maximum of 2 hours. it is our golden rule. it is a very important sanity maintaining rule.

I am thinking maybe this is a herd instinct thing - no-one wants to be the first in a group to leave their DC. Certainly last year (reception) no-one left their DC at the parties DS was invited to - at a few after school ones the SAHMs each took multiple DC and the WOHMs collected (and stopped to chat) at the end of the party, but otherwise children were left as an exception and (almost) always in the specific care of another mother who was staying. It will be interesting to see how/if that changes this year.

Geography may also play a part of course as for a lot of people around here it would take the entire duration of the party to go home and come back again