Amazed how many parents are happy to leave their 4 year olds with complete strangers at a party

[emkana]

It was dd's b'day party yesterday, there were 30 children there, so really busy, and a lot of the invitees I had never seen before as dd has just started school and I just invited "blindly" from the class list. I was amazed how many parents left their offspring happily there even though they didn't know us at all, and how happy the children were to be left! Not being judgemental, just interesting how different people are!

One mother was telling me that her ds has a "toilet problem" and could I make sure he would go to the loo if he wiggled around? I felt a bit out of my depth with that, as I was trying to run a party with 30 children so a bit of a struggle to keep an eye on him as well! So even more astounded that she didn't stay!

i just wouldnt and couldnt.
im not that confident.
also i dont trust him that much, he is rather a handful and it wouldnt be fair to leave him for a poor frazzled part host to look after as well as the other million things you have to do when hosting a party!

besides that, its a bit cheeky to expect it imho.

I rarely knew the parents that well other than a hello and a smile around the school

From age 4 it's the norm here to leave them, I do check that the parents have our telephone number and am surprised by how often they don't.

When I hosted a joint birthday party for my 5 &4 year old we had 35 children, nobody stayed and I didn't expect them to. I used the nursery and school class lists to check them off in and out and ensured I had lots of helpers. One or two parents stayed as they had slightly younger children, which was fine.

I agree that you have to have that degree of trust - however, when I was 7 I went to a birthday party of a boy in my class, there were about 10 of us probably, and no parents stayed. Years later, when we were at secondary school, the boy's father got put away for being a paedo. He was a primary school teacher and abused several little girls (this had all happened around the time of the party). It just really made me think. Certainly made me scrutinise my memory of that game of "Sleeping Lions" where he came along the line of children tickling us all. Sorry, not trying to scaremonger. Just makes you realise that people are not always as trustworthy as you may think.

My dd has been to numerous parties & I have never stayed unless it was family.

It's not the done thing here to stay at birthday parties.

She had 18 children at hers & the only person who stayed was my c/minder who had brought her 3 kids. Out of the 18 children, only one give me a phone number incase I needed her mum or dad for anything.

I can imagine I would feel very uncomfortable with staying at a house of someone I had never met before.

But I also think that the difference was that I live in a small village & I knew all the childrens' parents & vice versa. dd is in a class of 10 & always has playdates etc.. so I knew all the children too.

I found that not long after DD started in Reception year at school it was the done thing for children to be left at classmate's parties

I always make sure I have plenty of adult helpers around for DD's parties - inc my own family and family friends, and assume schoolfriend's children will be left.

I stayed at DD's first couple of school parties, but once all the other parents were leaving so did we - although left contact number with mum and stayed quite local - normally local pub for a quiet drink with a couple of other parents

From Reception onwards I have not stayed, noe expected anyone else to stay, nor been nvited to stay.

But then I have never considered the parents of DS's schoolfriends 'complete strangers' either - I have at least said hello in the playground, and probably chatted on several occasions, and unless there were really off-putting factors in evidence when we arrived for the party (gin being sloshed into Spiderman cups for the kids, porn on the widescreen, a drunken uncle raging round and swearing at everyone or piles of dog pooo all over the living room, say) I would assume that the Mum would have it all under control one way or another.

There wouldn't be room for al the parents to stay anyway!

I like it when parents are inited in for a glass of wine at pick up time, though.

I think it is outrageous that people fuck off and leave their kids.
As well as being irresponsible it shows how staggeringly lazy and selfish they are.

?

moondog??? So at what age can children be left? Ever?

lazy??
selfish??
wtf?

Ds wouldn't currently be happy to be left (age 4)

I would base it on that really, if I didn't know the parents well enough to be staying for a chat anyway, and he was happy to be left, I would leave him

DS is 6 and I have been leaving him for some time. He asks me to leave him. He gets cross on those occasions when I stay which is usally because 3yo DD has been invited too. I don't think I have left DD yet but will probably do so within the next year.

Six I'm happy with.
I'm not happy with anyone under 8 unattended in say a leisure centre.
No way.
Anyway,round these parts we see it as a chance to catch up with mates.

TBH I prefer the children to be left. You can just get on with the party then.

Moondog - but then at your parties, you do party bags for the Mums, don't you?
I think that's nice....

The asumption that some poor harassed woman (or couple) can cope with 3o kids and noone bothering to lend a hand amazes me,it really does.

I always make sure I have enough adults on hand to help out. Sometimes my friends stay for a chat, but I'm more than happy for the children to be left, and happpier if people I don't know very well leave.

Most parties DS1 (5) is invited to I'd rather stay but it's not the done thing. I still stay for DS2 (3) though and will continue till he's at least 4, done thing or not.

get real
kids get left at parties
dont like it stay home

Whenever I've asked 'do you want me to stay' I've been shooed out the door.

Obviuosly stay if ds1 gets invited to a party, but that's about a once a year occasion.

moondog - I always make it clear on invites that parents are very welcome to stay - I provide nibbles, soft drinks and wine - but also that I have arranged sufficient adult helpers should they wish to leave and benefit from a couple of hours child-free time.

I provide alcohol for those who stay, and if they don't then i drink it all myself to cope with too many unaccompanied children in my home

I was shocked at ds's fifth birthday party when I'd invited the whole class (but knew hardly any of them, it was reception, new school) when most parents dropped and legged it. I asked the first few if they wanted to leave me their mobile numbers and they looked at me as if I'd asked them for their souls. I've no idea what I'd have done in an emergency. Bouncy castle too, plenty of scope for accidents, although none happened.

But I wouldn't have left ds at four, no and dd almost certainly won't want to be left, she's not keen on being anywhere without me/dh except nursery.