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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

Totally at a loss to understand childrens' parties - why are they all entertainment and crap food for the kids, rather than a celebration of our children by those who love them?

189 replies

catASTROPHE · 05/03/2007 16:49

We've been to a few lately, and the more I thnk about the more I think it is WEIRD.

Whats the point of the party? To get those who love our children together and to celebrate them and enjoy them, surely.

Naturally, as some of the guests will be children, we will cater to their tastes as well.

But why the mountains of aspartame and salt laden food, and raucus games, and kiddy music, while the parents, godparents and adult friends stand around at the edge with a plastic cup of weak squash?

Honestly, I'm interested to know what the thinking behind these parties is.

OP posts:
themaskedposter · 05/03/2007 16:51

so the kids have fun??

Tortington · 05/03/2007 16:53

for the kids to eat shit, have fun, be sick, cry, hit someone else, get into trouble, cry again, push some other kid, cry cos they didn't win a prize.

i personally hate childrens parties. they have children at them

TinyGang · 05/03/2007 16:53

Because mostly (there are exceptions) that's how young children like to enjoy themselves at a party with other children.

lulumama · 05/03/2007 16:53

we don;t do our kids parties like that, but other than that

what TMP and custardo said

FluffyMummy123 · 05/03/2007 16:54

Message withdrawn

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 05/03/2007 16:54

for the children to have fun. the party is for the child, not for the adults.

if you have a party for your own birthday do you all have a celebration of your life? or do you go out and get rip roaringly drunk because it's your birthday!

Original poster
catASTROPHE · 05/03/2007 16:56

yeah, but...but...why do they have to have fun at the expense of the adults who actually might love the children, as opposed to the kids who, lets be honest, are there for the sweets?

I don't get why it has to be a 'childrens' party, not just an 'everbody' party. Perhaps I'm reading more into this than is there, but isn't it just another example to segregating children a bit more from our society?

Why can't children eat 'real' food? Why can't they enjoy spending time with adults and vice versa?

Does anybody see wht I mean?

OP posts:
wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 05/03/2007 16:56

"Whats the point of the party? To get those who love our children together and to celebrate them and enjoy them, surely."

think actually it's a "childrens'" party, so it's a chance for the child in question to get together with his/her friends and have a really good time. for it to be his/her day, not the day of the adults.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 05/03/2007 16:58

erm no. the children have 364 other days to spend with the adults and to eat real food. let them have their party.

Clary · 05/03/2007 16:59

speak for yourself. No aspartame or crap at my parties. We play games and have fun.

There are adults there, just not everybody's parents.....

Enid · 05/03/2007 17:01

lol @ ponce

god forbid my childrens friends should want to spend time with me

Original poster
catASTROPHE · 05/03/2007 17:02

Some chidrens parties I've been to have been wonderful.

There have been a range of ages there - lots of significant adults, as well as cousins, siblings, and some of birthday child's age-mates (depending on age of the child)

Theres lovely food for everyone to share and enjoy (rather than the 'adults food' table and the 'rubish food' table), and good fun music, good conversation, good wine, usually a good BBQ.

There has been a kids game or two, usually some adults join in too and clown around, and then a game like cricket or football where everybody who is there to celebrate the child's life plays together and enjoys them. There has been a cake and sometimes party bags.

Now, doesn't that sound like fun?

OP posts:
Original poster
catASTROPHE · 05/03/2007 17:04

BTW, I should have said I'm talking particularly about young childrens parties - babies, toddlers, younger children

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 05/03/2007 17:07

Have both. I must admit all mine had family parties when they were pre-school age - the big sugar-fests only happened once they were at school. But kids love them - they love the family parties too but it's different.

Emskilou · 05/03/2007 17:07

Perhaps at a childrens party we are allowing our children to be just that CHILDREN, or should they be minature adults eating canapes, drinking wine whilst wearing a dinner jacket or cocktail dress?? It's one of the few times a year when they can let go and go a little crazy because it's their day.

Can just imagine it 'Mum what am I doing for my birthday?' 'Well dear you are going to your room while I celebrate your birthday for you with all the grown ups, off you go' Nice

Also children find the majority of adults boring its a fact so expecting them to sit their and mingle with other adults and enjoy it is a bit silly.

By the way all the parties I have been to for children the food has been home made and very healthy.

DominiConnor · 05/03/2007 17:09

Why is it an either/or ?
DCs love parties, the more so because we restrict the junk food they eat normally.

We celebrate and enjoy them at other times and other ways, don't need an excuse of birthday for that.

WanderingTrolley · 05/03/2007 17:11

"Whats the point of the party? To get those who love our children together and to celebrate them and enjoy them, surely."

The point of the party is for the party boy/girl to have the party they want.

You are not invited to my party.

ChippyMinton · 05/03/2007 17:18

Foot in both camps here.
Parties with their friends are 'kids parties' party food, games, cake, pary bag & balloon.Parents are welcome to stay or not but it's not for them.
Family parties are as catastrophe described, for close friends and family members.

fairyjay · 05/03/2007 17:22

Adults who love the children will gain great pleasure watching them have fun.

We always finished with grandparents, godparents etc. staying later, for a few glasses of wine and chat.

Sad mine are too old for parties now!

Hulababy · 05/03/2007 17:22

For me DD's party is to get together all her friends and for them all to have fun and be children, and laos for her cloest family and important grown ups to come along too, if they wish, to join in her celebrations.

So, for DD's 5th birthday party later this month we have invited 30 children (inc DD) - her school friends and her put of school friends, inc some who are children of our friends but who she really likes too. And also coming are both sets of grandparents, her aunties and uncles (4 in tital) and her godparents. There will also be someother grown up friends too - bringing their children with them.

Children will run and play, bouncing castle, music, craft and maybe pass the parcel. They will eat a picnic tea on the picnic blankets. The grown ups will chat, join in with their children if they wish to, and eat nibbles and drink soft drinks or wine.

So a celebration for DD.

Hulababy · 05/03/2007 17:25

As for the children's food - ours hopefully won't be too bad - each get a food box with a sandwich (prechosen), a juice or water (prechosen), some Pom Bear crisps, a small bag of veggie sticks, a biscuit or some form, etc. And party bags this year are coloured beakers, with either necklace/bracelt for the girls or toy car for the boys, topped with a cupcake (DD's birthday cake ) and no sweets.

FluffyMummy123 · 05/03/2007 17:26

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 05/03/2007 17:28

I love sweets and DD will take them or leave them - prefers chocolate though.

lemonaid · 05/03/2007 17:28

The point of a children's party is for the children to enjoy themselves.

The point of a family party is to cater for a wider group.

For DS we have a children's party that other family members don't come to (apart from me and DH). Then some family members will come up for the rest of the day and we do "family" stuff. Typically we'll also have some more family members the day before or the day after or the weekend before or the weekend after. We get an extended period of family bonhomie rather than a big family party.

Mind you, we don't have salt-laden food or aspartame or squash, and at the moment as the parents stay with their children we provide food and drink for them too - not radically different from the children's food, but more geared towards finger food. But the toddlers like to do toddler stuff. Also, your whole scenario (cricket, BBQ...) sounds rather geared towards summer and somewhere with a garden, while DS's birthday is in the middle of winter and we have a teeny tiny roof terrace on the second floor.

As an additional factor, DH's parents are divorced and won't occupy the same general area as each other, and mine are separated and would occupy the same general area but TBH their sniping at each other gets exhausting, so whatever happens your let's-all-skip-around-plaiting-daisies -in-each-others-hair-isn't-this-fun wouldn't happen. If we had all the adults who love DS in one place at one time there would be carnage. We did a "family party" for his naming ceremony and the emotional fallout from that hasn't settled yet [shudders].

morocco · 05/03/2007 17:30

we just have lots of parties, one for the kids only to which I would shudder to invite family apart from dh who is in charge of organising party games, then another party for family on my side, then another one for dh's family. so kids get to blow out candles millions of times.
the family ones are, i suppose, a bit about us celebrating our children and their general wonderfulness and making them the centre of the day. the kids ones are just a massive sugar blowout and running round