Totally at a loss to understand childrens' parties - why are they all entertainment and crap food for the kids, rather than a celebration of our children by those who love them?

[catASTROPHE]

We've been to a few lately, and the more I thnk about the more I think it is WEIRD.

Whats the point of the party? To get those who love our children together and to celebrate them and enjoy them, surely.

Naturally, as some of the guests will be children, we will cater to their tastes as well.

But why the mountains of aspartame and salt laden food, and raucus games, and kiddy music, while the parents, godparents and adult friends stand around at the edge with a plastic cup of weak squash?

Honestly, I'm interested to know what the thinking behind these parties is.

Well we just had DS's 6th party at the function room of our local Italian restaurant. The room was free but £5/head for the children to have proper Italian pizza, huge real chicken nuggets and chips, followed by gorgeous Italian ice-cream. DS requested a football theme, so lots of the 17 children were in football strip (I know that will not go down very well on mumsnet) and we played musical chairs (only you had to stand on a paper football I stuck to the floor), pass the parcel, musical statues, spot the ball, penalty shoot out with soft ball, I put the boys football tattoos on and the girls butterflies. Then they had the food, and DS had a home-made football pitch cake, then a football pinata (which they loved), let a balloon net go, and me sit back with a glass of wine.

The adults there were me and DH, the Dad of one boy who has a nut allergy so he always stays, 3 of my friends who have DSs the same age as my DS, and my sister and BIL, and SIL and BIL because my two 2yo nephews were there. I didn't provide food for the adults but DS's Aunties and Uncles and cousins came back to the house afterwards where I had lasagnes in the oven and watched DS open his party presents.

This is what DS wanted. The party was the weekend after his birthday and he had seen his grandparents the weekend before his birthday.

Well, I do it because my kids love the party bag, so on that basis I imagine lots of other kids like them too. I always try to have nice things in them on the theme of the party if possible. I find they serve a good purpose of telling people it's time to go as well. Don't mind spending the time or money, but just mean that I don't have a lot of time to think up food for adults as well. Most of them won't stay anyway, and they are not all my best friends (tho some are) as not all my best friends have been obliging enough to have children of DS2's age whom he gets on well with....

DS1 went to a Megazone party at the weekend and the "fab party bags" which are part of the £10 a head package consisted of a few crappy sweets and a leaflet advertising parties at Megazone....

well i don't know about the rest of the country but I love my kids and consequently they get the party they want, thinking about a high school musical one for a few friends this year, the adults will love that

that sounds great bozza

Oh and all the people saying "It is a day for children, there shouldn't be adults there"

when it is your birthday do you say "Well I am an adult, so ds and dd, we aren't going to do anything to involve you, as it is just my day?"

cos if you do you are MEANERS

frnny thats different

TBH I agree with cod. Was glad that not too many adults stayed. You just want to get on with the party, and I find at that age they behave better if there parents aren't there.

grr this is annoying me now

The food at DS2's party will not be shite.

But I don't really think he wants the parents of his pals there (he doesn't even know some of them as they are nursery friends).

He would rather play with Harry and George and Josh than me and my best mates. Really. It's not becauseI don't like him. It's because I do like him that I am prepared to spend an afternoon dressed up as a pirate orchestrating a range of mad games. Or is that a waste of time too?????

mindyou, on my birthdya i go and get wellied, so no, i wouldnt want the dds there

"oh ffs franny"

why ffs? We're talking about different opinions about a party. Why are you getting enraged that I don't agree with you?

Yes, of course I don't like children, at all, and don't want them at ds's party That's why there are about 30 of them coming.

i said ffs cos you were inferring that i dont like children because i would have a childrens party for my childrens birthdya!

a childrens party can consist of nice food and games, not sweets and squash

i would let my dd have the party wiht her friends becauase i DO like children and i know what they like!!!!!!!!

F&Z I don't personally, but I know lots of people who get a babysitter when it is there birthday and go out with DH or mates or whatever. We usually go to a restaurant as a family for my birthday. This year my MIL wants us to go there for a "birthday tea" - sausages rolls and Iceland gateau and a birthday cake from Morrisons and I am not too keen. Would much prefer us all to go out for a bar meal. I know that makes me sound like a spoilt bitch but I would just like to choose what I do.

I ask my eldest 2 (6 and 4) what they want, and within reasons, try to provide it, probably cos I love them. This has meant some soft play thing with said crap food and crap party bags. I don't enjoy them that much, but hey I'm not 6 or 4 or 3. I'm hoping they grow out of it and want something else with fewer friends. I think we are in danger of over-analysing this. If you really don't approve of what your kids want, don't let them do it. I don't analyse it too much.

Haven't read the thread - but goodness me. Did the scrooge die and appoint you in his stead?

Whilst I agree that mountains of crappy food aren't great. It is perfectly possible to have a fun kids party with yummy food, raucous games and for the kids to have a ball.

Have you forgotten what it's like to be a child"?

the best birthday party i went to as a child was a day oput to the swimming pool, playing games at the pool and then back to friends house for tea

great fun

bloody hard work for the mother

For DS's party I got a set from Wilkinsons on a football theme - pencil case, pencil, rubber, ruler, pencil sharpener for £1. They were all cellophaned seperately so I opened them all up and put the stuff in the pencil case, added 3 choc footballs (Woollies pick n mix) and a piece of cake and voila. The kids already had tons of nasty sweets from the pinata.

Catastrophe - please DO NOT have Play doh (homemade or otherwise) unless you like a mottled grey/green/purple carpet ditto socks and soles of shoes. You will be picking bits of coloured crap from every soft furnishing from now till Christmas.

Believe me, have the party you want but do NOT have play doh nor glitter. They are the devil's work.

I know you will thank me.

and at "there birthday".

ye si agree dejags

I really really hope you don't come to NZ to a children's party. You would die of shock at the bright purple sausages, Fairy Bread and bright green fizzy pop they offer kids here

Children go home buzzing

All I know is that as a child I wanted children at my Birthday party. I liked it when Aunties etc came down the day before or after as it stretched my Birthday out. Food doesn't have to be all crap but I don't see anything wrong with the odd sweet or cake. Everything in moderation and all that. Omg just noticed the comment on raucus games in the OP wtf? It's a party do you want them all in bow ties holding fresh fruit smoothies in wine glasses discussing world affairs?

Naily I did not say (or "infer" ) anything about you personally.

I do think that things like children's menus consisting of crap, children's music, and very plasticised children's parties etc, are a sign of a culture that is not comfortable with and doesn't really embrace children, yes.

Same in SA Ghosty. The party packs are absolutely disgusting (I have to vet them and remove the real rubbish before I give them to DS). DS is going to a bowling party with tea afterwards on Friday night. All meals had to be pre-ordered. There were only three drink options:

1. coke
2. Fizzy Orange
3. Cream Soda

I was going to say something, but really, will one Cream Soda kill him?

I have been thinking about this and I think it's WEIRD not to have a proper kids party.

We are going for all the old cheesy kids games this year (pass the parcel, musical chairs etc), with cake and prizes. This will be for DS1's 6th birthday.

No party packs or adults though.

iagree cra p plastic parties are shite

ive never been to or held one tho

Good stuff we are in accord then