Totally at a loss to understand childrens' parties - why are they all entertainment and crap food for the kids, rather than a celebration of our children by those who love them?

[catASTROPHE]

We've been to a few lately, and the more I thnk about the more I think it is WEIRD.

Whats the point of the party? To get those who love our children together and to celebrate them and enjoy them, surely.

Naturally, as some of the guests will be children, we will cater to their tastes as well.

But why the mountains of aspartame and salt laden food, and raucus games, and kiddy music, while the parents, godparents and adult friends stand around at the edge with a plastic cup of weak squash?

Honestly, I'm interested to know what the thinking behind these parties is.

Message withdrawn

expat have the choc then a snooze

works against stomach cramps

I can't see a problem with that either dejags. Sounds lovely.

I'm not knocking the concept of a party, just saddened at what has become the standard kids party. I agree with the OP.

since when is the adult world so fantastic?

personally I like to lose myself in a world of Haribo, pinatas and pink shiny plastic three times a year

DS's parcels were wrapped in local paper until they got too big for tabloid size sheets so I got the cheapest broadsheet in Sainsbos the day before the party - it was the Yorkshire Post.

Ok Spidermama - I misinterpreted your post then

i actually think the best place to have a kids party is an italian restaurant

the children get LOADS of attention off the waiters, free ice cream sundaes, they will sing happy birthday, they can run around, the dads get to eye up the pretty italian barmaid and the waiters will make phallic shaped banana sundaes for the mums. even the chef will come out to sing and light the sparklers

adults get to have lovely italian carafes of wine too

or is that just my local italian

Yes but I don't think what we're talking about here is what Birthday parties have becaome the parties most of us are talking about are parties like the traditional Children's Birthday parties. The ones I think that are over the top is a pile of seven year olds being picked up at their houses in a limo to then drink non alcoholic 'champagne' whilst getting pampered for 2 hours. In my mind that is much more worrying then a party with sweets etc..

I haven't read the replies, but answering the OP. Not all of us have family close by. My family is hundreds of miles away and much as I would love to have them at dd's parties, it is not possible. DD is very sociable and has many friends, she has loved having(and going to)birthday parties. The food is not of great importance to her, she doesn't eat much of it anyway due to overexcitement. I always do a nice cake for her - she thinks of what she wants months ahead.
Many people have different family set-ups to yours and that is what works for us and our children might be different to what works for you.

I find it sad that you are being so judgemental in finding it "wierd".

*become

trust me, bounty and hillwalking don't mix! well, unless you're stopping for lunch.

"franny, i fidn it quite sad that you say "i dont like all ds' friends"

they are HIS friends not yours, you dont HAVE to like them, surely ds is allowed to choose his own friends"

Nailpolish, I didn't say that I didn't like all ds's friends, you need to reread my post

I was making a completely different point to the one you appear to want me to be making

Franny -"I do think that things like children's menus consisting of crap, children's music, and very plasticised children's parties etc, are a sign of a culture that is not comfortable with and doesn't really embrace children, yes. "

My point exactly...You are my new best friend . You too Spidermama

FWIW , we don't have any family nearby, they are all thosands of miles away but we do have friends who love our DC and want to celebrate with us.

and what this about DCs 'not liking spending time with adults'...? IME, thats what little children like best - to spend time with and be fussed by adults who love them.

And can I say again, I'm talking primarily about parties for small children - obviously older children have more imput.

dejags - what is hilarous???

clary - adult food is my sister's domain She is fab at baking and always produces a lovely selection. No stress for me!

cod - I love party rings Oh, and we have kid's music - made DH's collegaue, who is bringing his DJ stuff so we can hear the music in such a large hall, download all DD's music CDs onto his laptop ready. Pop Jr and High School Musical will be there grin]

Only reason we are being a bit more careful with food this year, although food boxes helping to an extent, is that we have one child who is very allergic to dairy - so have to be!

All the stuff for DD's party arrived yesterday. She is excited already and we have 3 wees to go!

Wwe wanted a pinata but can't figure a way of hanging it up in the hall - ceiling too low - can't think of a solution to that one. Suggested DH held it up standing on a chair but for some reason he thought that was not a great idea! Not fair.

Hula could you have it threaded through too strings with two adults holding it between them IYSWIM? Although it would have less movement than if it was swinging from the ceiling.

You also could have tied it to a long pole, That DH could haold up, Thats what we do if we are inside

Will have to have a think how it could work. I was wanting one with strings to pull, rather than one to bash.

Hulababy - 3 wees to go?!!

I'm with franny and Cat. If you were to ask my ds (he's five this year) he would want a party with SOME of his schoolfriends, but the adults in his life are just as important and he makes no distinction; he doesn't segregate his life like that, he wants to hare about playing party games with all his favourite people; and people usually get to be on that favourite list by PLAYING with him, whether they are 4 or 64 he doesn't care and he doesn't distinguish.

He also gets scared by loud blaring disco usic through PA systems and flashing disco lights, which is what all the parties for FOUR year olds we've been to this year, have consisted of

Party food he would want would be stuff we usually eat, but the only thing of importance is CAKE and being able to have it for starters, main course and pudding......

what I'm waffling about is that basically my ds wants your sort of do, Cat....and franny is right, people put on this sort of party because everyone else does it. It's thoughtless some of the time, they are kids so they want to play together and ignore the adults. Most kids ds' age want to monopolise and make the absolute most of adult attention, not 'run off and play' ALL the time.

Sunny, my DD is a bit frightened of loud music too - she get s very clingy, although she is normaly confident. She often comes home from parties a bit wound up or upset.

Some friend had a lovely picnic birthday party in the local park in autumn for their Ds's 5th b'day - it was so relaxed and adults and kids loved it. Lots of significant adults there to kick the footy 'round etc, and a few friends from the lad's school as well - wine, sandwiches, cakes, fruit salad...it wasn't posh or a lot of work for the parents, but it was a wonderful day and we all enjoyed celebrating their lovely DS's birthday together

My SIL and partner had some friends they'd been close to for a long time and who bought a house just round the corner.
The other couple had a party to "celebrate their DS" on his first birthday, with a crate of champagne, lovely food etc.
When SIL left at 6ish to get her son a legendarily bad sleeper, who was then two-ish and had only recently begun to sleep through ready for bed, the friends took massive umbrage and haven't spoken to them since.

exactly cat. I've never seen ds so miserable as he was at the last party he went to. And there was a children's 'entertainer' who couldn't actually talk to children - all his jokes were for the grown ups to laught AT the kids.

We brought him home, he hated it so much!
Other children were in tears too, though some were having fun....but I thought it was awful and I do agree, it should be a time when all the people in the child's life celebrate together, there is no reason why the children would JUST want children!

LOL Judd! weeks