I was screamed at by my mum because I don't like a particular food

[user1471867483]

I was screamed at for being selfish! We were going to have a certain meal together but I can't stand one key ingredient in this particular meal. I find it inedible, but mum said I'm being totally selfish as, 'she'll eat things she doesn't like to please me' and yes even though I prepare near on every meal, and do the dishes every time after, she does the cooking. She screamed she hates me and detests me and she can't even hug me and can't stand being around me.
Surely if I don't like the taste of something I should be 'allowed'?

I think its time to move out OP.

You aren't mentioning moving out. Can you work full time, save up and move out? I was "asked to leave" at 18. Best thing for my parents and my relationship.

Age is relevant and since you refuse to say what it is, I am going to bet that you are not a young adult and your mum desperately needs her own space, as people tend to do in the latter half of their lives.

Adult children living with Parents does not work. The dynamic is weird and this is why most adults move out as soon as possible usually late teens early 20s before it turns into everyone hating each other

She sounds exhausted but she should apologise- shouting is never necessarily. I wouldn’t call it abuse 🤣 but it’s not kind. If you’re a fully grown adult might be time to pack up your Quorn and move out?

Obviously she shouldn't have spoken to you like that but it would be pretty crap to always have to eat something you didn't really like in your own home when you're the one cooking, then have a fuss made on the one occasion you want to have it your preference. As others have said it's probably been a bit of a final straw moment and that's worth exploring. Maybe a flat share will suit you better going forward than living with your mum?!

Lots of adult children have no choice but to live with their parents because buying or renting a house is impossible due to high prices.

Yes, that is the case with my DS, but then they can at least cook for themselves.

Yes I'll be honest I thought that too!

Op says ‘even though I prepare near on every meal, and do the dishes every time after, she does the cooking.’ That seems pretty fair to me. I think ops mum sounds controlling honestly, and doing all the cooking could be part of that.

Lots of adult children have no choice but to live with their parents because buying or renting a house is impossible due to high prices.

Perhaps in this case a flat share would be a better option. OP says she pays her own way so has money available. There are always options just not always the preferred choice.

It’s gone beyond you being able to cook your own food?
You seem not to respond to the questions asking if you can move out. Is there a reason why you can’t?
Why are you embarrassed about your age? People live with parents at all ages.

Okay so I’ve seen some of your other threads. Your mum is 80 years old. This behaviour could be dementia so I would keep notes of how she behaves and seek medical advice if needed. You need to do your own cooking - separate meals. Do a batch cook every week and keep meals in the freezer.
I presume that you are too entrenched in this living situation to contemplate moving out and I don’t think a house share would be appropriate for you at your age.

Bullshit theirs always a choice it may not be the ideal choice but theirs always a choice otherwise how do you think people without families manage

If you can't afford to rent or buy somewhere then a flat/house share might be a better situation or become a lodger in a home. Try https://www.spareroom.co.uk/ and Rightmove under rentals as they often have house shares come up too.

I would definitely be looking to move out. Silent treatment is abuse by the way. You also said she mocks your shyness, well clearly you have a job so you aren't as helpless as she makes out are you? Take this first step in getting some independence.

Can you move out? I would prioritise that.

Based on the fact your mum is 80 I'm assuming your 50/60 so obviously she can't be that bad if you've stayed an extra 30/40 years through your own choosing. Your poor mum. I'd be losing my shit with you way before this point to be honest. Nobody legally has to provide shelter/heat and water past 16/18 anything past that is through pure love. The woman's a bloody saint.

Oh my goodness.

It would be utterly horrible - well for me, I guess other people who like constant company would be fine - to never have my own home to myself.
I can't imagine my kids living with me till they're - what 40?

You need to develop some empathy here op and fast. Your poor mum. It is very very clear why she shouted at you for mince. She's never had peace. In her own house!

Mince is tiny compared to no peace.

80! The woman is a saint. My mum is 80 too and while I love her dearly, I would never live with her. I visit her and quietly eat whatever she offers me.

Your mum has never had her space and she is now FED up. As well she might be. And possibly suffering from a bit of dementia.

Someone’s telling porkies.
😉😁😁

I came on to say exactly whay @Nobodywouldknow has said. Batch cook mince based things and freeze in portions so you can each have those meals how you line them. But do keep an eye on this. Aggression can be an early sign of dementia.

Yep

Are you in a position to leave? Move to a shared house maybe?

Shes 53 so probably not going to be the answer

What choice does someone with not enough money to rent or buy have?