Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

@Monkey2001 '& @EffortlessDistraction Thanks so much for your recommendations. I did a question search about it on chatgpt yesterday it was explaining that you need to identify your requirements e.g Resolutions, wide angle lens, G sensor etc, checking of local regulations, checking for firmware updates and so on. I started to yawn a bit.
We'll have a look at your recommendations and take it from there.

Checking in! DD hasn't learned to drive yet... she started, but then her instructor took maternity leave and she couldn't find another one, and it's all fizzled out at the moment. (But I didn't learn until my mid 20s, so that seems fine to me.)

Taking a break from writing a coursework essay for my own current uni course (work pays half fees, so why not?) and I'm reminded by how much of a pain it is. Sympathies all round!

Yes, I thought driving regularly in outer West London many years ago plus runs down the M25/A3 to see my parents prepared me for pretty well everything, I’ve always been a fairly confident driver, but things have changed a lot in urban areas. On the other hand, how on earth did we all manage without sat-navs? I went to Brighton for the first time in 20 years recently and had to find a very specific parking place right in the centre, I’d never have managed without satnav or someone map-reading.

DS started in a manual at uni this time last year, by the summer it was clear he needed to switch to auto, found an instructor here and drove my car all summer but nothing since, we let his learner insurance lapse. We have given him money for more lessons for his birthday but he hasn’t found an auto instructor at uni, he really needs to crack on, we are semi-rural and he wants to work in the countryside. He hasn’t passed his theory yet either. DH didn’t learn till he was 30 but grew up in Birmingham, was at uni (PhD and post-doc) till he was about 27 and then found shared houses within cycling distance of first jobs.

@Shimy I think Halfords have useful guidance on dashcams on their website. If I was buying one now I’d consider getting a front and rear one not just front.

DS rang this week and says he has agreed with uni to stay in halls for his final year, he was finding the process of finding a house and housemates overwhelming (he is fairly severely impaired in the social skills needed for this stuff not to mention finding the paperwork side of things, bills etc extremely hard if not impossible without significant adult help) and apparently the work really ramps up in the final year. I do really worry about him coping with all this stuff longer term when he is out of uni, I have been having an awful time trying to do his PIP renewal because this stuff gives me nightmares. I have booked in with the CAB to get it sorted as I just can’t seem to do it by myself. I start shaking just thinking about it all.

@Alwaysplayspicc I'm shocked that this old problem is rearing up again. What a nasty person. She is going to progress onto much worse things in life I'm sure.
The very best of luck for your surgery.
I'm also checking in, as the thread moves so quickly I can't keep up.
We dropped ds1 back at Uni to repeat the 2nd half of the first year. He's in a house share. One boy there is absolutely lovely, two weren't back yet, but ds1 seemed very apprehensive. My eldest came with me for the drop off, as we stayed overnight in a hotel & went shopping in Guildford in the morning.
She, like me, felt it was like abandoning a puppy 😞 I'm hoping it will all work out but not 100% 🤞
Dd2 - at ucl went to Stockholm last weekend ( as the flights were very cheap) & has gone skiing this weekend with her boyfriend & sisters. One of the sisters is doing Medicine overseas next to a ski resort apparently. Then next week she has her Architecture trip overseas, followed by a week in Canada with dh & Dd1 to see their 94 year old Grandma! I think all of her deadlines have finished now. She seems to be enjoying life anyway.

@EffortlessDistraction Thank for the Halfords tip. This thread is great it's like an MN within MN minus the batshit spats.

Re: driving DS2 is still grappling with manual lessons,( the dashcam is for ds1 who's already got his license.) He won't budge on swapping to auto and has had about 30 lessons!he keeps starting and stopping. 1st instructor was unpleasant calling him names, 2nd instructor kept canceling, then the term ends he couldn't find a manual instructor that was available, and so on. We've tried to convince him to change to swap but he won't budge. The reason is - He's developed an interest in vintage cars and thinks in future he might want to buy a vintage car alongside his everyday car and the ability to drive a manual will come in handy. Everytime he says it I roll my eyes so far up they hurt.

Really hope your ds gets on ok this semester @Cantonet . It must be a worry. But if it's not for him, I 'm sure something else will open up.

Your dd sounds even busier than mine! It's her first year isn't it? Dd got rather behind last term as she was just 'too busy' socially, but she was adamant she had a new technique for keeping up with lectures and this term would be different. She rang last night and because this term so far has also been 'too busy' she's behind again, but after Leeds this weekend, back home next weekend for her brother's baptism, then visiting a friend in Southampton and then her boyfriend in London, she's sure that she will be able to catch up in reading week. Aagh! She's also just starting a job which will be 1-2 days a week... and she's got a holiday to Rome coming up soon.

@Shimy 😁
Your ds is obviously planning a nice life for himself.
Sorry to hear you've been so ill over Xmas .
I hope you're starting to feel a little stronger?

@Cantonet He makes me laugh too but considering how far he has come, it sounds like music hearing him talk about his big dreams. We weren't even sure he'd be able to get GCSEs. His adhd brain sometimes just doesn't factor in time in logical fashion. If he gets his manual license today and gets a car (planning to get an auto) by the time he reaches the age when people tend to get a second car for pleasure e.g early 50s maybe late 40s, he won't even remember how to change gears let alone drive one.

I'm recovering well thanks, starting to get back to normal routines although still unable to resume my exercise routine (walking & Pilates/Yoga) which i miss greatly. Hopefully will resume driving this week and must decide what to do with the frozen Xmas turkey still sitting in the freezer. At least I missed all the cooking /hosting shenanigans of the festive season.

@Cantonet I hope all goes much better for him this time. Credit to him for returning.

@shimy Pleased you are recovering well.

Hadn't considered a dashcam but you've all got me thinking now.

@Shimy I drove an automatic for a few years & I also forgot how to drive a manual. I couldn't do hill starts any more. Several years later I'm still a bit frightened by them 😔
I'm glad you're feeling better.I bet you will be so relieved to be able to start driving again.
@Crazycrofter yes your dd & mine sound very similar. The strange thing is that dd did pretty much nothing but work the first term. We were concerned that she was working all the time & not socialising, apart from the boyfriend, as it was totally unlike her.
She's now reverted to type 😃
They are on the plane back now. Got there too late to ski on Friday, due to delays, so literally have had only one days skiing.

@Shimy glad you're on the mend.

DS says he's not been out socially since going back in October. I think rowing has taken over his life... he got a place in college 2nd boat once he stopped being a novice at Christmas and then was subbed into college first boat for competition yesterday. He's training 6am five times a week - not quite as bad as when he used to swim seriously but bad enough. Plus climbing basketball and swimming. I'm just hoping he's putting in some kind of studying around all that...

DH and I both had this flu cough thing all week so feeling sorry for ourselves which also means decorating has been out on hold. Roll on spring...

@EffortlessDistraction I learned to drive over the water, in Gosport 😀 IIRC there was one hill for hill starts.

I keep my manual driving skills up by driving DD’s Fiesta from time to time. The first time I drove it, having had an automatic for four years, I kept looking for a gear stick when I went back to mine … old habits die very hard. Despite only driving in the hols she’s probably now ‘better’ at driving it than me, ie she rides the clutch at the entrance to a hilly roundabout where I would definitely have the handbrake on 🤔

Which? on dashcams … Nextbase reallly do look like a good bet! Mio have a fair few best buys too. Four out of five ‘don’t buys’ are under £50 so there’s a bit of getting what you pay for, but I don’t think you need to spend too much.

@DontCallMeBaby I am a member of Which, but I am a bit cynical about a lot of their reviews. I will report back once DS1 has set up his Orskey S680 (Which gave it 48%, not quite a "don't buy"!) If it can't show number plates I will return it, but at £34 I would not really expect it to be as good as the ones costing over £100. 85% of the 14,604 Amazon reviews gave it 4 or 5 stars.

I will report back when he has set it up.

I dropped off the thread 
Hope @Shimy @Alwaysplayspicc are on the mend
I tried to look back on earlier threads but on the app it's so difficult- does anyone have a child doing aerospace engineering? Can't believe we're already up to the point that ds is looking.

@DontCallMeBaby we got an exemption from hill starts in Portsmouth because the only places you could do them were Fratton Bridge and Copnor Bridge. The test centre has moved to the top of Portsdown Hill now, plenty of hills there. I worked in Gosport for years and can't think of any hills at all.

I feel like the Gosport one might have been a bridge … but it was a very very long time ago, I don’t remember

@Shimy yes targeted tutoring has been deployed. He heard from the tutor that the 2nd year is the hardest on his course but he might have just being kind.
@crazycrofter If I'm being honest I switch between chilled and anxious about DS. I have to separate out how much of that is anxiety due to him and his future (which is good regardless) and me for the social stuff of him 'failing' and physically having him back in the house which would be rubbish!

@Monkey2001 Had a discussion with DS about getting a dashcam and he didn't look interested at all! so much for trying to do a bit of research. Please do report back. I don't have a Which? subscription so @DontCallMeBaby post was quite interesting to look at. Gosh! its a minefield isn't it!

@NCTDN On the mend thanks.
@omnishambles Glad tutoring is in full swing, it will definitely help. I agree about 2nd yr, 1st yr is a, 'hello & welcome' and then they get down to the real business. Only last week my neighbour was telling me about their grandson who had sailed through 1st yr and was now struggling with 2nd yr. DS also 2nd yr started a new module after a couple of lectures, 'Financial Econometrics' he quickly signed off & skipped over to a new module. Wise chap!

@Shimy maybe you should tell him about my DS1 getting window chips which he could have recovered from the Highway Maintenance lorry and the people claiming to be injured by DS2 hitting them at less than 5MPH. DS2 might not have access to a car next year if the insurance is too high - maybe your DS would be more interested if that was his situation!

@Monkey2001 Will try that and will also raise it again when his new premium (which he will be paying!) comes in perhaps that will impress the benefits on him more.

Yes, the reason I got a dashcam was that someone reversed into the front of my car in a queue to get out of a car park (they were wiggling to let someone else in, it was a narrow exit), accepted liability on the scene and then proceeded to deny all knowledge to the insurers. The only damage was to the bumper paintwork so I let it go rather than slog through the courts but I had to declare it as a fault accident for 5 years.

@NCTDN DS's friend's brother graduated from Salford this summer. He had the worst uni in covid times experience of anyone I know. They closed down very early for covid. He didn't get to go to a single lecture in person in year one as they stayed on Zoom. Halls of residence were empty. He ended up not returning to Salford after Christmas until the start of year 2. Pilot training was supposed to be part of the course but that was not reinstated.

DS now had bike number 2 stolen....

😱Craggy! Your poor boy :(