Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

@crazycrofter is there an opportunity now for your DD to do a placement year? So taking a year away from study but still doing her course?

Sorry to read this @omnishambles. Rant away, we are all here to listen, and support you.

@omnishambles believe me I fully understand where you are coming from. DS left at Easter and to be honest it's a relief. He is a much happier person despite not having a path mapped out. It will no doubt be a lot harder for him to achieve his goal to be an engineer by going the long route but he is no longer miserable. He does not want to do an apprenticeship and is completely off learning at the moment so we are taking it as it comes for now. He has a temporary job in an engineering workshop for 3-6 months which came about purely as a result of a chance conversation I had with someone.

Like you, we tried so hard to support for most of the first year (once we knew there were issues) and all of the second year that he did and we know that we couldn't have done any more so feel no guilt. But my gosh, we have been through the mill emotionally whilst trying to do the best for him. Yes, it would be better if he didn't have £24k of student loan and effectively a gap on the CV for 18 months but he is almost back to being himself again. I wonder if your DS does fail, can he get a certificate for the year he did pass? So he has something to show for it? (DS couldn't as he was resitting the first year and failed it by 0.4% grrrr).

We were very careful not to influence DS's decision but we were so relieved when he decided to quit as he would have had to struggle through another three years at least as he was on a 5yr masters with placement, but was effectively a first year again.

Engineering is tough and isn't a subject they can be half-engaged with and get away with it. He needs to either find out how to make it work or quit, but both are difficult things.

It will work out in the end. Sending you hugs and understanding, it's awful watching them struggle.

Good to catch up with you all. DD has stayed in uni to revise for her 1st year finals. Says she studies better in the flat kitchen and the library.
Probably a good thing as DD2 starts her A levels on Friday and has to have fairly rigid regimes.
DD3 is doing her Silver DofE practice run this weekend and is not prepared!
And I am recovering from yet another dose of COVID ( work with vulnerable people) - which is not pleasant as I then get a cough that lasts ages.

DD keeps sending me pictures of her “revising” on the beach. Hmmm. I hope she’s done enough for her exams! So far she’s been doing OK. Although she admits that she should’ve done straight business rather than business with law. And I think she’d rather be somewhere with more nightlife. I think this might be amplified next year, as her brother has put Newcastle as his top choice.

The thread is on 980 posts, I'm out at the moment can anyone start a new one?

@crazycrofter one thing your DD needs to be aware of is that if she is not a student next year (taking time out and working) she will have to pay council tax on the whole house with a 25% discount for being the only non-student. You can find out how much that would be here - https://www.gov.uk/council-tax-bands and then https://www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/information-for-residents/council-tax/general-information-about-your-council-tax/bands-and-charges/. Could be £150/month if a big house. Must be so frustrating for you as I remember she wanted to do OT back in Y13.

My DS1 is another one who can't work in his room, so works in the living room, which is OK for him as it is a 2 bed flat and his flatmate is hardly ever there. DS2 works in bed and falls asleep!

Sorry to hear of the struggling people. I have in the past shared a youtube video by an academic who says that people should not all go to the best university they can get into, but will do better in one where they are comfortably in the top half of the cohort as to be struggling to be average is demoralising. Somebody getting a First from Swansea will be set up for success when they might have failed or got a Third at Bristol. All we want is for our children to be happy and achieving their potential, but it is so hard to navigate.

@BlueMarigold i think its probably too late for her to do a placement year now unfortunately, but I might mention it if results aren’t great. I think placements are hard to find though. @AnneOfCleavage we hoped she might agree to pull out after this year and get an exit qualification and then start something like nursing or OT in Sept but she’s determined to stick it out!

@Monkey2001 yes i’d thought of that - could even be more as they’re moving to a six bed house in July. But if she was earning full time , she’d probably be ok.

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