Thread 50 - Covid GCSE Cohort - New Year of Adulting

[OrangeSpicedBun]

2024 here we are... our young people are still getting used to adulting and we're still doing that adulting thing ...it's tough !

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4922401-thread-49-covid-gcse-cohort-the-nights-are-drawing-in?page=10

Your DH must be so traumatised by it all Cantonet. It's so good that your DD is with him, she is brilliant with her calmness; being a vet aside.

@Cantonet your poor mil and Dh and Dd. It’s at times like this that it must be so difficult to be on different continents

A belated Happy Birthday @Cantonet . I’m sorry to hear about MIL, that all sounds very difficult and upsetting.

I hope the weekend went well with your girl @Zebracat

Hope DS1 is better soon@Oblomov23 , mine is the same, literally never ill, he had more time off school for fracture clinic visits than he ever did for illness and I do wonder if it will catch up with him one day, he’s still never had covid.

@Alwaysplayspicc been thinking about you, hope you are feeling better cold-wise, be kind to yourself over the anxiety, it is not surprising at the moment, I am struggling a bit too. I think I’ve been more shaken up by DH’s diagnosis than he has TBH (I’m the worrier of the family). I have been having anxiety attacks over things I would normally cope with, this has happened before at stressful times. So I’m doing lots of exercise, fresh air, fruit and veg etc to try and get back on top of things. Also I have found that my blood pressure is a bit high so those things are important for physical as well as mental health. I have got a home monitor now and taking readings in the mornings.

DD has put in for her ASD/ADHD assessments with the GP through Right-to-Choose, so we are waiting to see if they agree the referral (not that I’m taking no for an answer, the screening questionnaires she has done are pretty clear).

I’ve got to pick up DS’s PIP renewal again tomorrow, I have got an appointment for help with it at the CAB next week and need to sort it all out in advance, not looking forward to that. DS is OK though, he has started doing Parkrun and is loving it, it’s round the uni campus so he literally has to tumble out of bed and off he goes, says it is really making a difference to his weekends to have that to get up for rather than lazing in bed all morning and he feels much more focussed. He’s on a field trip next week which isn’t too far from here so will be coming straight home for the weekend afterwards which will be nice.

Sending you a hug, EffortlessDistraction. It's hard for the people caring for loved ones who aren't well, for sure. In my case, DH is trying to manage the mental load of our everyday lives, as well as the worry about me, whereas I'm just worrying about what's happening to me and have a team of professionals taking care of that.

When my sister knew she was dying, she told her DH, " For me, the light will simply go out...but you have to carry on dealing with it all after I'm gone. "
So much truth in what she said - it's much harder for the people who love us.

Thanks @Alwaysplayspicc I think you are right. I overheard DH talking on the phone to his GP the other day about his next PSA test and she asked him how he was feeling about it all and he said no worries really, just relieved it wasn’t worse as that’s what he was expecting. He doesn’t really do forward thinking, I am going to be on tenterhooks every time he has a PSA test from now on and I carry the mental load of the family as it is because he is completely inept at admin, so I always worry about what would happen if something happened to me.

Argh.
I've been summoned for jury service in April.
Obviously I can't do it then, as I'll still be in treatment for breast cancer, but does anyone know if I can ask to be excused for 12 months, rather than have to give possible available dates within that time?
I have no way of knowing when I might be fit enough to sit on a jury.

I was under investigation gor ovarian cancer and they excused me altogether also. Phone them up.

Yes, I'm sure they would allow you to do that. The absolute last thing they want is for a juror to have to drop out part way through a trial as they'd have to start again IIRC. I've done it twice and for longer trials they select very carefully considering everyone's circumstances (on my second time there was a 12 week trial starting).

DS's band just came third in the shield section of UniBrass. They did win Best March though and he's an important part of that!

Don't know if they'll get promoted back to the trophy section now.

@Alwaysplayspicc you should definitely be able to be excused with you current situation.

@Piggywaspushed congrats to your DS! 🎉

@EffortlessDistraction Another your hug for all the mental load.

@Alwaysplayspicc I got excused from jury service in 2020 on grounds i couldn't sit through the whole procedure without getting up and down to stretch my legs and relieve hip pain (gluteal tendinopathy of the hips) so i don't see why in your case you wouldn't be excused.

Bringing it home for UoB, Piggy! Well done to your DS.
Can't say I know a lot about banding, although DH has played for a few in his time.
I saw that RBC topped the prizes - bit of an unfair advantage there!

They always do. Huddersfield always dominate too.

@Alwaysplayspicc , Re: RBC, I see it as a testament to how good the others are to be able to compete against them. Ds's uni, Warwick came 4th! he's delighted.

Today's post Unibrass message from DS involves vomit and a blocked sink...

Congratulations to your DS @Piggywaspushed (response to the the earlier post not the most recent!).

@Alwaysplayspicc How very thoughtful and insightful of your sister. I'm sorry you lost her young.

Good point!
Well done to Warwick!

Apparently, they are all off to Cardiff next year.

@Piggywaspushed very well done to your ds, under what sounds like stiff competition!
@Alwaysplayspicc the best of luck for you this week 🤞🏼 I have nothing to add about jury service as I've never been asked for some reason. Dh evaded his by saying he didn't speak English well enough 😳 ( total fib).
In other news I accidentally overdosed the spaniel with worming tablets last night and woke up to 8 lots of poop in the conservatory this morning 😨
Not a good sight first thing🤮

Well done to ds and the UoB brass band @Piggywaspushed ! Takes me back to my trombone playing days 😂Has he had any luck in finding year 3 accommodation?

He does seem to be sorted now , yes. He found people via Facebook who wanted extra housemates. Just waiting on paperwork, now. I just hope they are nice.

Oh that's good @Piggywaspushed , fingers crossed they're nice - or at least, not actively mean! Has he found friends elsewhere now to socialise with? I'm guessing the band is quite sociable?

Ds did his CBT on Sunday and is apparently buying a motorbike today - which is absolutely terrifying! Especially given his ADHD/impulsiveness and his eye issues - he's basically got very little sight in his left eye. But there's not much we can do to dissuade him, it seems. He's got his third attempt at his driving test on Thursday. I'm hoping he'll pass and then start to think about getting a car instead, but three of his friends have got bikes now too, so there's the social side of biking together too.

The band are quite sociable as are his football team, although the weather has put paid to several matches. He seems fine to me, but it is hard to tell.

@crazycrofter I have a motorbike licence. I passed when I was 25 after going out with a biker for a year. 😂 I soon learned that I preferred being warm in a car so haven't ridden in 25 years. I still love bikes but would be terrified if either of my DSs got a bike - what a hypocrite I am! Fingers crossed for his driving test this week!