Thread 48- Covid GCSE Cohort - Summer before Year 2 Uni

[Oblomov23]

Summer ending. Year 2 for many at Uni about to start.

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
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@Piggywaspushed I’m on campus the next two days if there’s anything I can do to help.

Thanks crazy.

Oh @Piggywaspushed your poor boy.
What an awful situation for you all.
Very glad to hear you’ve been able to go and bring him home and that he’s talking to you

The really positive thing is that he reached out, and that will be much easier if it gets to him again, now that you and DS1 all know the situation.

This kind of thing makes me so mad, it really takes very little effort to show basic respect and tolerance towards the people you live with. Are any of them nice or are they all as bad as each other?

I am sure they are all basically nice but got a bit caught up in their own 'banter'. Apparently they do make fun of another lad a bit but they seem generally fonder of him.

I have never liked the way they had DS running around doing all the house admin. They walk all over him a bit.

Oh, just heard they are calling him gay.

Jesus,they are 19 and 20.

Piggy, DD has just signed up to get involved with the uni newspaper. As you know, she has ADHD and she’s also been the subject of some unpleasant bullying this summer, with girls from her previous school targeting her as “weird”. (Long story but it involved a boy…)
It’s bloody heartbreaking but we’ve told her that ANYONE being so vile obviously has issues of their own, so she needs to mentally put them in a box, tape it up, mark it “f* off” and put it out with the rubbish.

I hope the childish dickheads that caused your DS so much distress have had a bloody wake up call and take a long, hard look at themselves.

DS is signed up for that too. Their paths may cross!

Do they know how they've made your ds feel @Piggywaspushed ?

I know lads can be into the 'banter' a bit too much at times. I hear it from my ds with his friends on xbox, but when it's all targeted at the same person it stops being banter doesn't it.

Absolute morons.

Honestly, he should think seriously about going to the uni welfare / accommodation teams about this. He can't be expected to stay in a house with people who treat him like that. He has another 8 or 9 months to go, and they could be much happier if he's living with people who are nice to him. How will he be by the end of the year if he already thinks these arseholes are right about him being weird and irritating?

It does. Given what has gone down, they definitely realise now.

DH actually taught one of them, awkwardly.

God I have no words to add to all the wise folk on here. Horrendously immature at the generous end, but absolute knob ends regardless of it starting off as just banter.

Piccolo is right, this behaviour is more about them than your boy piggy.

Just got home. So very sorry @Piggywaspushed what a bunch of twats. Glad your lovely ds is at least home with you! Big Hug to you Piggy, what an awful shock.

Only just seen all this because been ill with sore throat for 3 days, in bed, but only just got home from London, dropping ds to his Canary Wharf shared apartment. He is sharing with a nice boy from his Nottingham course. All good.

Oh my God @Piggywaspushed Just popped in to see what's been happening and saw your post. What an awful shock for you. I'm really sickened by what's happened to your DS. What is wrong with these people so young yet so nasty? I say that but then not so surprised when I see certain threads and the nasty comments on MN. I'm so glad Ds is back home and getting some respite from these nasty bullies.

Just checking in again, @Piggywaspushed I’m so glad you got him home again, what nasty, nasty bullying.

Oh piggy. They sound like thoughtless boorish wankers. Your poor DS.

Has he gone back @Piggywaspushed ?

I've just been reminded of my sister, who was bullied by housemates in year 2. My parents didn't really know what was going on though, so the situation continued.

Hope your ds has a good placement @Oblomov23

Dd seems to be settled in now. The main priorities for her are finding a church where she can settle and getting a job! Hopefully some studying will be done too.

He has filled in an LOA for this week and seems fairly bright today. GP told him to take this week to reset and rest but wasn't too concerned, it seems.

Oh @Piggywaspushed I have only just seen this after being out all day yesterday with more birthday things. I'm so, so sorry for your DS and for you all, it must have been terrifying to get that call. I'm so glad he's home with you now. I hope the pathetic, entitled behaviour from his housemates is put in check now but I would still encourage him to think about moving away from these people.

DS really doesn't seem to want to go back into halls but knows it is an option.

Could he have a look for any house shares still with a room to fill? I know it would be a bit of an unknown but weighing up possible happiness in a new place vs definite misery where he is now, it might be worth a try?

I know there are financial considerations but maybe the accommodation office could help with this, given what's happened. I'm sure they would not want him to stay with people bullying him to the point where he thinks of harming himself.

Birmingham accommodation office isn't really a thing! There is no physical office ad they are very hard to contact.

I think he thinks moving somewhere else adds a new stress,. Inclined to agree for the meantime. I think e thinks if other people think he is weird that will confirm he is. He is very self deprecating and has realised this gives people things to make fun of - so he needs to stop giving them material.

I can understand that moving into a new house feeling the way he does would be stressful. Does he have any friends still at home (that haven't gone to uni)? I'm just wondering if spending some time with old friends who appreciate him might remind him that he's not weird, he just needs to find the right people.

No, unfortunately his main friend went back to Warwick yesterday.