In what circumstances would you tell your adult offspring she can't come home for a holiday

[fenestras]

What's your limit ? I've just found mine...

Accepted and thank you

there are (at least..) 2 separate problems here IMO.

1. only fans/her doing porn. Apart from the discussion about ethics etc.: her face and name linked to pornography can genuinely hurt her future career opportunities etc. Being drunk whilst doing so doesn’t make it better. I would be very worried about her choices, relationship with alcohol etc.
2. she did this outside, in her DM’s garden. She clearly wasn’t concerned with respecting her DM’s or other people’s boundaries. And then she proceeded to swear at her DM - when she should have apologised!

I mean I'd be shocked and not exactly happy but in this day and age, it's not something entirely unexpected. I wouldn't ban them from my home but maybe draw the line at them doing so in my house- though hard to stop unless you are prepared to be up all night and in all day.

What jumped into my mind first when I read your post was - if my child was a drug addict and I knew they were there to steal items to get money to fund their habit. I wouldn't want to support that in any way but there again, haven't been in that situation either (yet, anyway- just a few issues with weed, hence the thought).

Absolutely this . It’s crazy.

I agree and also sympathise. It must have been shocking for you. I don’t have daughters, but I’d feel shocked like you, too, if it happened to me.

What I would say is that young people take a lot longer to grow up and they do deeply regrettable things, but once it’s online, it’s online forever. Someone could alert her employer to this. The consequences could be devastating and lifechanging. This is what I’d be alerting her to. I’d also be concerned about her getting that drunk alone - that is not healthy behaviour for the mind or the liver.