In what circumstances would you tell your adult offspring she can't come home for a holiday

[fenestras]

What's your limit ? I've just found mine...

Never and none whatsoever

I would not want my dd doing that or being a prostitute out of fear of the harm it would do her. At the age of 27, she is too old for you to discipline her

I'd raise an eyebrow but say nothing. It's her choice. Maybe a chat around keeping safe but that's all.

actually mine would be drug and alcohol addiction and stealing. and i'm not talking the rare joint but even that, if someone needs a rare joint they can hold off till they return to their own home.
there would be zero tolerance for this level of sexual depravity but again they would know this and know they are free to do this in the confines of their own home not mine.

The cool parents are out in force today.
I wouldn't be happy if DD was on OF, but I know she would never do anything like that.

I wouldn't stop her from visiting me, but I would not want her to do it under my roof.

She was outside? In the garden or something?

Uuummmm I’m sorry, but what’s only fans, a porn site ?

Basically. Your “fans” tell you what they want you to do on camera for money, and you do it.

You walked in on her but she was outside ... You don't want her to come home for a holiday but you're both already in the same place ... You're not making any sense.

Exactly what I was thinking!

So, am I understanding this correctly? You went outside to lock up and found her wanking (or worse) on camera in your back garden?

Yep I’d find that a bit grim. Not sure I’d kick her out, but I would tell her I did not want any more filming at my house.

What does meh mean ? Have seen it before but don’t understand it !

@Mylovelygreendress "meh" means i don't care, i'm not bothered, no skin off my back.

You think you can tell an adult how to live their own life and make their own money?! And you think it’s acceptable to tell your own daughter that she can’t come home because you don’t agree with a lifestyle choice? Wow. You sound like my mum (who I’m no contact with). I hope you’re willing to permanently destroy your relationship with your daughter because you will, if you behave like this.

I'd be disappointed Op but it wouldn't stop me letting my daughters come home. That said, I'd tell her it wasn't allowed in my home - there needs to be a level of respect there. If there's no respect, then likely I'd not let her back.

Other than that, druggie, stealing or abusive behaviour would be red lines for me (but I'd like to think I'd try to get them help before it ever got to that).

@babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo the thing is you can discuss these and any or all sensitive topics.
there may be some butt hurt and maybe even some stompin of the feet but as a parent there is nothing wrong with discussing: employment health financial and lifestyle choices. as a more experienced adult the additional years of life might prove a helpful insight.
but like others have said much if not most of this would be covered before the young adult left home.

I’d rather my daughter didn’t do only fans, can you let her stay but have “rules” around what she’s doing in your house. I know someone making thousands a month from OF and there are worse ways to earn money.

MN Rule.
Your DD posting porn on only fans = OK
Your DH watching porn on only fans = LTB.

Personally that would be cause for celebration here 😁.

She's 27, her body, her choice. I might express my feelings about it but I certainly wouldn't stop her visiting.

OF isn't always explicitly pornographic. It can be fairly low level "titillation". If my DD was doing webcam work I'd be concerned and would want to support her to find a more rewarding career. I wouldn't kick her out. My line would be if my DC were putting other members of the household at risk or stealing.

Sounds like your DD needs your support to move away from this kind of work, not to be excluded from returning home.

I would be horrified if my daughter was doing this too OP, so I understand where you are coming from. However, I would want to find out why she was doing it. Easy money or is she facing a financial crisis of some kind?

I was coming here to say this.

Heaven forbid I’m defending OF but actually it’s not all pornographic or explicit. Some very savvy women manage to get men to sign up and follow them just for how they speak to their “fans” and make them feel special. There are of course also accounts with degrees of nudity - some might be underwear, others topless, and at the far extreme it’s performing sex acts on camera.

I can’t imagine any mum would be delighted about their DD working on OF.

But surely it’s not being a “cool mum” to accept that your adult child may make lifestyle choices you don’t approve of, and that it’s no reason to ban your child from coming home?!!

You don’t have to think OF is a good idea - but banning your DD from the home? Bloody hell 😳

Uh yeah… my only positive thought about this is that at least she was outside so your house isn’t recognizable.

You can’t tell adult how to live their life, but you can disagree with their actions and values, and you can request that they aren’t carried out under your roof.

I'd never speak to any child of mine again if they did that.

Just because society has convinced young women that prositution is wonderful and should be celebrated, doesn't mean I have to agree.