In what circumstances would you tell your adult offspring she can't come home for a holiday

[fenestras]

What's your limit ? I've just found mine...

I'd be immensely disappointed and frankly contemptuous of her choices, and I would make this very clear.
I'm amazed so many pp are saying 'she's just working and she could make millions!!'. Come on now.
However, I wouldn't ban her from my house as long as she understood that making porn in my house was an absolute no.

If I’m being really honest I’d want her home so I could give her a really good talking to and express my disapproval at 20 minute intervals. I’d be fucking horrified tbh.

Also did you ask her? how do you know its 'only fans'.

Going back to the days of Polaroid here but at 14/15 my mam caught me trying to take a 'selfie' of my ass. I got the 3rd degree (is it for some guy, my mam was constantly obsessed with the idea I would be stupid enough to fall for a grooming ring) and some dirty looks.

There where no nefarious reasons, I'm actually very self conscious about my ass then and still now. I just wanted to see if it looked as 'fat' as I though it did.

This it’s her choice. Ok she could’ve not done it somewhere with no privacy. OF is also good money.

Yes, yes and definitely no. I don't want to burden my children with caring for me when I'm too elderly and decrepit to care for myself.

Do you actually have children? If you do, I can't imagine how damaging it must be for them to have grown up with a parent whose "love" for them is so fragile and so conditional upon them making life choices that meet with approval.

This "do you want them to look after you when you're old?" is a favourite MN trope. Pathetic

Absolutely never

But, but, I thought all women who do porn are forced in to it

According to MN at least

I don't necessarily mean physical care. I mean actually just care. As in sort out power of attorney, ensure you don't get dumped in an abusive home, generally watch out for you and visit.

A complete rejection from your parents for petty reasons (and this is- ok to have words and say "please don't here") means they might not watch out for you later.

Elderly people who have been horrible to their children often live to regret it. I see it every day.

She's an adult she can do what she wants. Being on that service might not mean what you think, but equally it could be, but it's non of your business.

As a parent you can be disappointed but don't cut her off. Its not like she's a paedophile, serial killer or worse is it. She's def made a bad choice, but it's for her to learn from.

I'm guessing you don't know much about Only Fans. You'd never speak to them again? Wow.

Oh so she’s flaunting her tacos for dollars on OF! Without actually being at risk of STDs and exposing herself to potentially unsafe men… whilst earning money… hmmm morals aside, your girl is a clever cookie!
not that you can proudly boast to Janice next door that your daughter is an excellent lawyer but (no pun intended) your daughter will be fine. She might regret this … might not. I’m not judging her… I’m judging you for not providing what should be an unconditional love. Who cares what she does? It’s not illegal, she’s not adding to the population neither she’s subtracting. She is still your child.

I wouldn't be over the moon if my daughter was doing onlyfans but I would also recognize that she is an adult who can make her own choices.

Knowing the way onlyfans can go as well (ever increasing out there demands) I would have a conversation to make sure my daughter was okay.

There are very few things that would make me ban any of my children from my home.

I would say 'be respectful, absolutely no filming in my home' and leave it at that.
What she does elsewhere is not my problem. She's an adult.

Does she make much money from it? Does she have a job?

If it pays the bills in this climate, she's in control of it all what's the issue?

Huh?

Excellent reply.
And this is a stupid thread, with a stupid decision - banning the daughter from coming home isn't educational in the slightest and can't persuade OP that doing porn online is a bad thing. Or maybe OP doesn't care at all about the daughter, but only about her own comfort at home??

really sad. Assuming she has financial issues?

Someone needs to explain to her that she's facilitating the commodification of women.

I thought you were going to list all of the drama she’s caused over the years like physical assaults and stealing etc.

Being on onlyfans is not something I’d think is any of your business and you definitely shouldn’t fall out with her over it.

I would say to not do it in my home and explain that I was disappointed but I’d respect my DDs choices and understand that she’s an adult.

Even if she was a prostitute/escort I wouldn’t fall out with her over it. As 1 she’s my DD and I love her and I cannot control what she does as an adult, and 2 disowning her would push her further into what can potentially be a very dark business and my DD will always know that know matter what she’s done/doing she can always come to me for help.
Your DD will not feel she can ever come to you for help now.

I never understand the uproar of onlyfans or strippers etc on MN.
If a woman can make £££ from desperate men and not have to touch them, then she is laughing.
Obviously if it’s a family member it’s going to be worse but a full grown adult at 27 is more than capable of making up her own mind.

Don't give up on your kids. Hang in there and they come back to you.

@maratara my trio are 38,40 and 41.

I'm finding this whole thread a little baffling. At 27 years old I had a career, a husband, a home and was pregnant with my first child. I certainly didn't go home for holidays. I visited my parents for short periods when invited but more frequently they visited me. They way this post is worded is as if your 18 year old daughter has come home from uni and you caught her doing something you disagree with.

Ultimately, at 27 she is an adult and can do as she likes. You can disapprove and you are entirely within your rights to tell her not to do this in your home but banning her from your house is a rather bizarre reaction. Is she quite immature for 27? Does she have a job and a place of her own? It is a bit odd to me that she has come home for some sort of extended holiday and is then on only fans. I think you both need to work on your adult parent and child boundaries / relationship.