Thread 45 GCSE Covid Cohort - Bunnies bouncing into Spring

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

previous thread

Haha, feeling the car frustration! We have resident's parking, so I juggle them and sometimes get it wrong and end up with a ticket. I also feel guilty because the area is short of parking, but I could not put the DSs on either of our main car insurance policies when they passed, so we kept the old car for them. However, DS1 has now taken that car up to St Andrews for his final 12 weeks there, so we only have 2 for a while and DS2 can go on either of our other cars now that he passed his test over a year ago. @Delphigirl you could look into how much it would cost to add your DSs to your other cars when they come home if you don't all need to use them at the same time.

DD is in Sheffield this weekend, trampoline competition. 0830 start for the comp so it will have been a very early morning today. They always seem to have a later start on the Sunday, I assume after the big Saturday night, it’s kind of a shame Saturday can’t start a little later for the ones travelling! First proper comp after breaking her elbow (I think the club didn’t do Nottingham, and DD didn’t compete in Edinburgh, but went anyway) so fingers crossed she’s okay.

We're the opposite way with cars- dh thinks we should sell DDs car but I know she'll want it over the holidays. If she can't drive that, I'll have to juggle her using mine, and the thought of her driving my little electric car that is like a go kart is terrifying!

Interesting that trampoline comps are Sheffield and Nottingham, just like the dance ones. Good luck

Unfortunately we do need to use them at the same time. We are just outside oxford but rural and no public transport within 30mins walk so the kids need to drive to go anywhere, and I take my car to work every day, and DH drives to the station a few days a week.
thank god no parking probs though, I would constantly be getting tickets if I had to remember to move cars around!!!

I understand the car thing! DS1 bought himself a new car in December and his old one sat in the drive until yesterday when he finally sold it. We were that annoying family with 5 cars at times (DH, DS1x2, mine and sometimes DH has a work hire car). Thankfully most fit on our driveway but we can’t get them all out if they are on the drive so it’s a juggle and we end up with one on the road, occasionally two.

DS2 (the one I always write about in this thread) chose not to buy a car but shares mine when he’s home. So at least that’s one less.

DS has been hit by another lurgy which is really unlike him. He usually has by far the most robust immune system of us all. It’s taken him out of lectures for a couple of days last week and another couple of days this week. His course in intense so I hope he will be able to catch up this week.

DH went to see him earlier in the week for a sports match. I feel a bit jealous as it will be 7 weeks not seeing him this time as he’s not back until Easter. He’s not the most communicative and wouldn’t spend loads of time with me if he was home but I’d still like to give him a big hug. Unfortunately it’s 3.5 hours each way so not easy to just pop down and see him.

Are there others for dance @NCTDN? The other trampoline ones are Newcastle and Liverpool, done for this year, and Manchester next month. Plus the Scottish comp in Edinburgh and the Irish one in Belfast, both of which invite the north of England league.

I think there's a Manchester one too. Maybe the places are picked as they're quite central in the country?

@Delphigirl we have 5 cars as dh has his "toy" car in the garage. Ds1 isn't due back until Jan. but dh says if we sell a car then he will return early and won't have a car. Ds2 is considering taking his car to uni in sept. But undecided yet. If he doesn't then it would make sense to just add him to my insurance when he's home. But my car is only 3 years with 2 litre diesel engines. So I'd be nervous of him driving it. Insurance would probably be high too.

I am a bit worried about ds2. He found a breast lump a few months ago. Never said anything because he knows his friends have had them. But they were around age 13 or 14 when they had them as did ds1. Anyway...I suggested he went to the dr as we found out dh carries the brca2 gene. Ds says the gp had to get another gp to look at it, they said it's unusual in an older teen. Then they both decided to refer him to the hospital. So he's waiting for the appointment. I keep telling myself they are just being precautionary. It's worrying not being down there with him though. I'm sure all will be fine. Dh's dd said she'd take him to appointments.

Good that he’s getting it checked out ican 🤞

It’s great that he’s been brave enough to get it checked out @icanbewhatiwant I think many teenage boys would brush this under the carpet.

SLIGHT CHANGE OF TOPIC PLEASE

Sorry to butt in on convo about cars and insurance BUT needed to ask advice about something and didn't know where else to ask so pls pardon me.

This is particularly for those with DC with an anxiety disorder. As I've mentioned in previous threads. DS has generalised anxiety chief amongst which is health anxiety. A situation has come up and I'm think it is VERY important he sees the GP but very wary about how to communicate this to him.
My questions is, how do you communicate to your dc that they need to see the GP urgently without letting them know it is urgent or that you the parents are worried about it?

Has his gp got written consent from him that you can communicate with them? They could then invite him in?

No, he hasn't done that. I'd been meaning to discuss that with him but hadn't got round to it. If i mention it now he'll either treat it as the same 'non-urgent' as he is now or he will wonder whether it is connected to case in point - his foot, so have to give that a swerve.

Could you encourage him to just seek advice first? You say it's his foot- would something like physio be an easier first step?
How did you find out about the issue - if he mentioned it in the first place, just ask about it each time you speak/message etc?

Sorry to sound so vague. There's a black spot under his foot. He's had lots of things like verruca's in the past so i know what those look like. This looks very different! he sent me a pic of it just to ask what i thought it was and i was very calm about it but told him to see the GP about it soonest, 'it's nothing but best to get these things checked etc', 3 weeks on he hasn't seen the GP as he doesn't think it's urgent and is 'busy'. I'm scared shitless what it could be and keep looking at the photo.

@icanbewhatiwant oh I’m sorry about ds2 that is worrying, but I’m so pleased he has spotted the lump and told you, so he can get checked out. Not all teens would. Fingers crossed.

@shimy there are some very good “mole watch” type apps from which you can scan moles freckles and spots, then by AI they are assessed. If no problem you get a message. If AI thinks it might be something the scan goes to a qualified medically qualified dermatologist. They review and either send a “no problem” or a “probably nothing but we advise you to keep a watch” or “we recommend consulting your gp” message.

might that put your mind at rest if you got him to download and use an app like that? Would he do it?

I know this sounds like i'm batting off all the helpful advice but perhaps I'm thinking about it the wrong way. DS has had severe anxiety about Cancer in particular, infact it was one of the first anxieties he had. How does one get him to do the app check without arousing his suspicions? If he thought it could be something cancer related he'd be to the Gp in a shot but it will also impact him in the long term regardless of the outcome.

Perhaps there is no soft way around this and I just have to be candid about it and brace ourselves for the fall out.

@Delphigirl Can this scan be done using a photo? I have a photo of it so i can do it without him knowing. Can you give the name of such an app pls as i just did a quick search of 'mole watch' and it's returned some unrelated apps. Thanks.

@icanbewhatiwant Brilliant that he has gone to the doctor. Fingers crossed all turns out to be benign.

@Shimy www.melanomauk.org.uk/download-the-skinvision-app-for-free

Thanks, will do this. Thanks everyone for your advice.

I don’t know Shimy re the photo, but I was going to suggest SkinVision too

Delphi, I 'll have a look at that one that too. 'Anxiety' is such a bummer! normally one should just say, 'DS get to the GP asap because unfamiliar spots should be checked just in case of Melanoma's' etc. If I say that to DS it will completely throw him off balance but might have to anyway.

Hope the health scares turn out to be unfounded for @icanbewhatiwant and @Shimy . Keep us posted.

@icanbewhatiwant well done to your DS for seeking advice. I hope all turns out to be ok.

Fingers crossed!