Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Am enjoying the music on here very much, despite not having musical bone in my body!

DS really happy as has been picked for Varsity swim match v Oxford next weekend. It will be second team but he hasn’t competed since covid shutdown so very excited and it is at Cambridge pool so hopefully lots of supporters. Unfortunately we can’t get down to see it which is a shame as not sure DH has ever missed watching him swim a race. Hopefully if he gets a swim later in year at BUCS that is only Sheffield which was his ‘local’ pool for regional comps until 2019 and only an hour away from us.

@Isthisjustnormal we went to las iguanas - half the family is coeliac so fewer options for us, but if you like Latin American food there is plenty of choice!

Hopefully if he gets a swim later in year at BUCS that is only Sheffield which was his ‘local’ pool for regional comps until 2019 and only an hour away from us.

Is that Ponds Forge? If so then your ds may very well have competed at the same comps as both my niece (she is 21) and ds's friend (the drummer).

@Comefromaway - yes Ponds Forge. I think first competition there will have been 2014 and then until covid.

Ds's friend will be studying near there next year so is hoping to get a job lifeguarding.

My niece competed up until covid too.

DD is having a wobble about uni in September. Wants to meet new friends as she wfh and isn’t meeting anyone but is worried about it not working out again. I’m so exhausted by it all. It’s her life.

@Isthisjustnormal my DD has just been complaining about her group project on fractals - I think it must be the same project as your DS!

@GoldenRuby We do!

Are there any types of MOOCs she xan do to see if she ok with course content? Any activities she can get involved with ?

Not sure what MOOC is.
She’s joined a hockey team and loves that. All her friends are at uni so it’s hard. The job pays well and started out as hybrid but is now wfh full time. It’s very convenient and she’s doing well but I don’t think it’s healthy. It’s a long term temporary role and she’s likely to be offered a permanent role that may be better.
She wants to make friends her own age but is so worried that Uni won’t work out again. I’m thinking York will be different as it’s college on campus based and a world away from NTU . She’s quite anxious about the whole thing. We’re supportive of her choices but worry that she’ll make a decision based on fear.

@Benjispruce4 that sounds tough. The best way to tackle it probably depends on her character. Would it be worth writing down why Nottingham did not work out for her? Has she been invited to an offer holder day for her course? If she went to one she may meet some people she likes, which would make her feel much better about going. Great that the job is going so well, it will give her an edge when she applies for jobs as a graduate if she decides to go to university. If she gets on a good career path without a degree, she could always do one later.

Ooof, @Benjispruce4, tricky decisions! Can your DD try to find friends in advance at York, from course and/or accommodation, by means of facebook groups etc? Fingers crossed. Currently just approaching York on the train as I type..!

I think it’s the pressure of second time. Plus a few friends have told her they are struggling being away and finding the work hard. She has a tendency to worry. I’ve suggested we go to an offer holder’s day.

That's tricky @Benjispruce4 and there's still a long time to wait. Nearer the time, and certainly after results day, there will be group chats for accommodation and course which she could join. Maybe have an honest chat with her about her friends' experiences - it won't necessarily all be plain sailing, there might be rough patches, that's what life is like - but it doesn't mean she'll have a repeat of her awful NTU experience. That was extreme and unusual, she didn't do anything wrong. It's a shame she's working from home full time as that leaves her quite isolated and with lots of time to worry.

Dd is back later today for reading week (and driving test). I've had a few messages from her saying she's really behind with work, getting overwhelmed and she think she has ADD (her brother has ADHD). She wants to get a GP appointment but she knows a diagnosis could take ages and medication might not even work. I think she got behind in December due to her social life and working at Wollaton Park and then she got ill so couldn't catch up on last term's work in Jan, which was her plan. And she's already behind this term due to time off ill. I'm going to try to help her formulate a plan. Part of the issue is her social life.... she just won't say no to anything.

Yes still plenty of time. I’m encouraging her to keep the wheels in motion. Was so easy with DD1 as she definitely wanted the uni experience and a degree. She tends to go for what she wants and figures any issues out later whereas DD2 will worry away before there’s an issue. Obviously her experience hasn’t helped this.
Sorry to hear about your Dd’s struggles. Young people seem to be so aware of ND conditions don’t they? Do you think she could be? Socialising and getting behind sounds standard student behaviour to me! 😉

I know! I don’t know to be honest, if she is then she’s not textbook. But even if she has ADD, she still needs to find ways to start her work and get it done! At least your dd is doing well at work so if for whatever reason Uni round 2 doesn’t work out, she knows she’d not options.

It's tough isn't @Benjispruce4 . DD is in a similar position, stuck at home waiting until September to re-start her life. She still hasn't found a job and all her friends are back at uni so loneliness is a big issue. She had plans to meet several people last week as they were back for reading week, managed one on Monday then went down with a sickness bug and has been in bed for the rest of the week so had to cancel a couple of others
At the moment she seems quite keen on going back in September but is worried about the living situation. I don't how she will feel when the time comes.
Could your DD go and stay with any of her old friends at their unis to see how uni life can be when it works?

@Seeline what a nuisance that the sickness came at that time!
DD’s bf is at Leeds and she’s gone up there lots of times and that’s not helped as he hasn’t had a great experiences either!! In one way she’s had the worst so it can only be an improvement whereas some go in a high and land with a bump. Must be very lonely for your DD if she’s not working either.

Sorry @Benjispruce4 a MOOC is like a free online course/ degree taster .

I've remembered to make a new thread for when we have finished with.this one

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4745396-thread-45-gcse-covid-cohort-bunnies-bouncing-into-spring

@Benjispruce4 ,@Seeline . We are in the same position. Ours had a horrible experience yesterday, she was going to Europe to stay with a friend for a week. She got the flights, got herself to Stansted, the plane took off, and the couldn’t land because of high winds and they came back. I darent even ask If she’s going to try again. She’s applying for jobs, some of which seem more suitable than others.But her friends are all away, and she really just has us. She’s bought an unlimited ticket for the local cinema. I think she is scared about going back in September, if she gets a job she likes, my guess is that she won’t, but I think she could regret that in a few years.
I really worry that once you leave one thing, it becomes more likely that it will happen again. I’m thinking about a friend of my dd2, who had such a bright future ahead of her, but left 2 unis and now scratches a living in retail. All her school friends have established careers, bought first homes, started families, and she’s had to move back in with her parents at 31.
But it is their life. I was parenting her for her emotional age before, but now I’m minded to foster independence at every opportunity. Trying really hard not to provide solutions, just to ask the questions.

Thanks @OrangeCinnamonLatte .
What a mare @Zebracat ! Can’t believe they just flew back and didn’t land someone else and arrange travel by train etc.

Zebra I can't believe they just flew back ✈️. What a bummer.

Well, they were hurricane level winds, and I’d sooner that than a plane crash! Iam so impressed with how she handled it though. It was her 3 rd flight ever, the 1st travelling alone, and it was really scary on that plane. She held it together for the terrified child sitting next to her.This trip has been everything to her., but she seems able to cope with the setback. Resilience!

That must have been terrifying! Hope she gets to rebook soon.