Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Previous Thread

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn DS doesn't seem to have done much law yet. Definitely no reading as he doesn't have any books 🤦 There are three essays coming up - DS doesn't get 'writing week' but gets a week without law and a different week without French 🤷 I'm not sure if he's going to cope with it at the moment. He's got a French seminar presentation and a French translation and evaluation to do for tomorrow, neither of which he has started. I'm more concerned that he didn't eat yesterday 😢

It's frustrating, not knowing, isn't it? (Not that I think I should know about how much work DS has, or that it would be beneficial for anyone if I knew, he is rightly in charge.)

But parenting at a distance is hard - I asked DS how he was doing yesterday and he texted back "I'm doing alright, getting by". Is that good or bad?!

Oh gosh mummy I'm sorry to be moaning about trivialities when your DS has so much going on - I hope he manages it all ok. Not eating doesn't sound good, why was that?

@mummyinbeds that sounds like a lot! On the eating thing, could you send him up some treat food? Or DH sent DS a pizza while he was watching footie with him the other week? Just thinking of something that might tempt him? I get it's a bigger thing but it might help a tiny bit?

@singingstones it's so hard especially for a control freak like me! I think 'doing alright' is a good thing.

Ds hasn't called. I text him. He replied, says it's majorly full on. I guess that's good - at least he's being taught, lectured, loads of content, essays, exams, projects with fellow course mates. Suppose we should be grateful he's getting his moneys worth.

Mummy, I agree with Popcorn, what about a nice food parcel.

@mummyinbeds your DS is catered isn't he? How many meals has he managed to have? Maybe someone needs to speak to student support about whether there is another way to access meals - maybe somebody picking up from canteen for him? When someone is not eating I think the university welfare people take it seriously.

@singingstones moan all you like about anything, trivial or not. We all have a million trivial things worrying us and it helps to spill them out on here.
I've managed to book a work trip next week and thanks to the train strike (and my clever planning) my route will take me via Nottingham (ish) so I'm calling in for tea and cake. I'll do a little shop on the way too 😊

I agree. He needs help and support. Spoken to tutor? Student support re food and anything else they can help with. Just trying to put a few practical things in place to help him at this time?

@Monkey2001 yes he's catered. He's missed breakfast since the first few days. He's hit and miss with using his lunch allowance but DD helped him last week. I don't know how many dinners he's missed. He says he doesn't like eating with other people so unless he can rush down as soon as it opens he won't go. Yesterday he had lectures until 6pm so I guess that's why he didn't go. I'll look into what help is available...

Thanks for the thread.. she’s home for reading week. She’s really happy to be home, loves University, She used to really struggle with transitions but she walked in full of news and hugs. We spent the evening saying goodbye to our cat, who has been pts this morning.
Our girl seems so wise. We have been so blessed to have her come into our lives. Hope that doesn’t seem like showing off, I know others are having a tough time worrying about their kids health and attitude.
I am so pleased for @Benjispruce4 s daughter, she’s coped so well with the rough stuff.
I think I’m going to rake leaves. Carbs and hard work are always the best cure for sadness for me.

Congrats @Benjispruce4 and @OrangeCinnamonLatte - great achievements by your DCs!

Sorry to hear about your cat @Zebracat
Hope your DS manages to find his way @mummyinbeds - it's hard when they are so far away.

No real news here - DD seems to be OK since we left her at the weekend (I found it harder to leave her this time than I did originally which was a bit of a surprise!). I saw an Insta post from her SU saying don't rush into finding housing for next year - they will be holding workshops in February giving help and advice! So hopefully there is plenty of student housing in Norwich!! She has found one girl from her course she would be happy to share with so that's a start.

I'm so sorry about Dcat Zebra, I'm glad you were able to say goodbye together. And that DD is loving Exeter.

All unis should have support available for food to be provided if student is ill, say .... flu/bronchitis and can't get out of bed, but needs subsistence.

Just ordered ds Gower cottage brownies. I know you lot are super brownie chefs, but am not.

@Zebracat so sorry to hear that the end has come for your cat, but don't feel bad about sharing the happy stories too, we want to support tough times for eachother but it would be depressing if all bad! I think your DD was very lucky to find you too!

@mummyinbeds I would contact the catering people and ask whether there is a quiet option for anxious people - there may well be! I would try the duty catering manager on here www.nottingham.ac.uk/hospitality/contact-us.aspx

So sorry to read ab ok T your cat @Zebracat : hope the carbs and exercise area useful distraction

Carbs and raking leaves sounds like a great plan Zebra. Hate saying goodbye to furry friends.

Very big unMNsy hugs to you, zebra. We’ve had to have various beloved animals PTS and it never gets easier.

Brava to your DDs, Orange and benji - so lovely to hear them going for what they want.

You have my sympathy, cariad - our DDs sound very similar, and I haven’t missed the tension in the house while DD has been away.
I agree that we probably need to step back and let them run their lives the way they choose and hope they learn from their mistakes, with regards to uni work, but man, it’s so hard to watch them walk into (avoidable) problems; DD seems to have no ability to see cause and effect.

She was absolutely lovely when she arrived home yesterday, so much so that DH and I looked at each other with eyebrows raised and grins on our faces - she was polite, humble, pleased to see us, appreciative of her birthday presents etc.
However…gradually, the old DD started to seep in through the course of the evening; she refused to help clear plates after dinner, insisted we watch her choice of tv programme but then spent the duration on her phone, snapped back at us in answer to anything we said that she thought was stupid/unreasonable - all her usual ways of trying to control our interactions.
DH and I have agreed to have low expectations, to make allowances for the huge transition we’ve all made in our home lives BUT we won’t engage with unreasonableness.

She seems to be loving uni life. Seemingly, she has a BF she’s been seeing since the start of term, that she hasn’t ever mentioned. He’s someone she knows from home but is studying in Coventry, so goes over to see her in Birmingham a couple of times a week.
Obviously, she’s entitled to a private life but now we know about him, it does rather throw a different light on some of her attitudes and behaviour since she moved to uni.
I’m a bit upset that she didn’t want to tell us (she mentioned going to see him in Coventry during freshers, but we didn’t say anything because she dropped it in casually, without any further details), and I’m a bit concerned that he’s her main focus, but I’m keeping any reservations to myself. At least he’s local so she won’t be disappearing across the country during the holidays.
She also informed us that she’s been vaping, “ but only socially”. 😒

Thanks for new thread @singingstones Ds is just history now as he dropped philosophy. But it doesn't matter much really.

Thanks @singingstones

Wow @Zebracat she has really come on, you must be so proud. I'm so sad for you. It seems fitting somehow to be doing a seasonal job 😕

Why did your DS drop the philosophy bit ican?

@singingstones you summed it all up in one on the last thread.

Congrats to those with good news including @OrangeCinnamonLatte @Benjispruce4 and sorry to hear those struggling.

@PhotoDad ds3 is a year 9. I agree, they missed out on a lot too.

Ds2 sent me a text last night saying he was really struggling with his first essay. He said they haven't been told how to write it and what is expected. I asked if he had an advisor, he said no. Ds1 had an advisor he could contact with any problems. I didn't know what to suggest really, he can't speak to the person who set the work until next Monday. It needs to be in on the weds. 1,500 words all about the jat uprising. He said it's not a good weekend to be coming home with this essay to write. He also said he should have done a business degree as he thinks he would have found it easier. But he was always complaining that business was boring. He's enjoying the history lectures. Just not the essay writing. I told him they'll get easier once he gets feedback. All his flatmates have a reading week this week, plus his friends are home on reading week. So he was annoyed he doesn't have one.

@Piggywaspushed ds said the philosophy was difficult to understand and boring, very different to the philosophy he'd done at school. Though one of his electives is philosophy based and it's the best one.