Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Previous Thread

@Heifer glad you are feeling better despite ignoring all the advice! 😄

Apparently today's rail strike is not happening? DH is still going to take DS to the gig though, he wants to see him and cheer him up and also go and see his folks.

Nottingham people, I've just seen a post on WIWIKBU about a uni student getting a warning letter for attendance being below 80%, lots of people talking about scanning in. Do they do this at Notts? I'm asking because I know that DS has missed a few lectures over the past couple of weeks and I don't want him getting in trouble! 😬

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn I am usually good at taking advice, but when it comes to going to docs, not so much.

Re Nottingham lectures - DD definitely seems to think that only practical's/workshops/seminars and tutorials are compulsory and that it's ok for her not to go to some lectures and just watch it online. She got into trouble for missing 2 tutorials the first 2 weeks (tutor moved both sessions and DD hasn't been keeping up with uni emails and didn't know (she had view set to conversation which I've got her to amend to single emails so it's more obvious when tutor emails)... I was originally hoping things were monitored to stop her missing lectures but I think it's the only way she will cope if she feels she doesn't have to go.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn DS hasn't even got his student card yet so definitely not scanning into lectures (and he's missed a few). He did get an email about missing a tutorial but it's hard to hide when there's only 5 of you. He's had to give his student number at tutorials and was supposed to scan his non existent card at the test he missed but is sitting this morning 😬

So he definitely has been to his tutorials and seminars so that's good! he tells me he has caught up on the missed lectures online so I hope that's true.

@mummyinbeds how has he still not got his uni card?

It was cancelled due to a Poppy event and moved to next week.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn when he first went to get his ID card they didn't have it (not just his) It then became more complicated to track down where to go to sort it out and despite me and Google finding out for him he hasn't done it. Admin his not his strong point (and he wants to be a lawyer 🤦)

Heifer re Notts attendance, ds just said he needs to scan into everything, and has.

(Ignore us. We are not the norm re attendance because all 4 of us are literally never ill and always go to school / work, even when we are). My 2 always want the go to school, dislike missing it, and ignore any of my suggestions of staying home and having a day in bed. (Wierdo's! ) I think ds2 had had one afternoon off school in his whole schooling life. So I'm not expecting any attendance issues.

@mummyinbeds @JustHereWithMyPopcorn @Oblomov22 apparently they have QR codes up at the front and you are supposed to scan in but it doesnt work half the time. Hence the attendance problems.

I have a weirdo too Oblomov. 3 school sick days off in 14 years, 2 of those were covid isolating related.

DS is similar, he's had the odd day off for x-rays/surgery on broken bones here and there but has not had a day off school for actual illness since about year 4. Even then he was only off about twice in his whole time at primary school. He hasn't had covid yet and never had to self isolate either. Nursery was a bloody nightmare though, the first winter he picked up every bug going, but I think it has left him with a good immune system.

Ealing 🤣

Same. I do remember lots of conjunctivitis at nursery, that I battled with over the weekend so that they could back to nursery on my next working day (Tuesday, had Mondays off).

My 2 don't get colds, never ever had D&V. None of us have had covid. Very odd.

I was never allowed time off school (mum was a nurse so unless I'd stopped breathing I was going) I've had the same attitude with my two and fortunately they've never really been ill. I think DS is making up for never catching a cold now. He even got symptom free Covid over Christmas. I remember him crying once because school sent him home after he'd thrown up all over the science lab 🤦

I think it’s being in a nursery early here, DD was in one full time from 4 months when I went back to work, not just because of only getting SSP. Very sickly in her first year with lots of chest infections, chicken pox etc, and then after that, pretty good.

Now she’s like a typical freshers kid. Permanently drained, coughing and colds but dragging herself in, but no, a night off mid week? What a stupid suggestion mum 🙄

@Zebracat I use the Hull Trains website which can sell you tickets for any journey eg Birmingham to Bristol and it very helpfully puts up a prompt if you're about to make a duff decision like that. Also generally cheaper than Trainline. (Scowling at a previous charity employer who insisted we use Trainline.)

@Heifer Had the same conversation with DS over accommodation contract. "I can read you know." It eventually came because they need a parent as guarantor. No reader, he did not know what joint and several liability meant.

@mummyinbeds Good to know he felt up to eating in the dining hall.

DS is another who enjoys ridiculously good health. After the small baby stage I can only remember him vomiting twice. Once was our fault when he was a toddler and we fed him then drove up, down and round some mountain passes. The other time was memorable because he was still quite young and he just suddenly fled to the bathroom and threw up. We didn't know how he knew aiming for the bathroom was a good plan. We put it down to having a dog for the first twelve years of his life.

Wow another new thread, thanks @OrangeCinnamonLatte. How lovely to read about your DD's job - is it Secondary as she was hoping for?

Brilliant news about your DD @Benjispruce4. I can highly recommend the gap year - DD is enjoying hers immensely.

@Zebracat eek to the train ticket(s) price. I can see my DD doing the same.

Thanks @AnneOfCleavage the only difficulty is that she’s quite lonely as everyone is away at uni, including the bf. She was really looking forward to uni to meet lots of new people as 6th form wasn’t great for her. What’s your DD doing with her gap year?

Back on the subject of October Reboot, my sister has started "Slimpod" which seems to use hypnotherapy techniques to retrain food cravings by listening to a short podcast every night. Have any of you tried this one? As I have failed to do anything else yet I am going to give the free 10 day trial a go. In case anyone else wants to try - thinkingslimmer.com/

@EwwSprouts Thanks for Hull trains, I will tell her.
Just been out for cake and learned that actually she’s struggling with motivation, and feels she’s never had a break and that there is pressure on her to be a success. I do sympathise, but I also think that there isn’t any money for her to take a break, so she would have to work and a minimum wage job is harder than 10 hours a week contact time as an undergraduate.
Shes asking if childhood trauma counts as a disability. I don’t know, but I feel very strongly that identifying herself in this way is not especially helpful. I had a dreadful childhood, and also suffered trauma, but having an education and a profession was better for me. She thinks she is feeling pressure, but actually she benefits from structure, and I think may be suffering from too much free time. She became really miserable and withdrawn in Lockdown. I suggested she take a yoga class. She was not impressed.
I dont know how to help her. I love her so much and want to support her but having her back has reminded me of the mental load I carry for her. I can’t do it again. Of course , I didn’t say all this, Just the structure bit.
I really don’t underestimate the effects of her childhood, but most 19 year olds struggle to get out of bed and to start their assignments, it’s not going to be better if she is facing a day in a call centre or a care home. I really dont know how to respond.

Not a lot of illness here either really. I never even had chicken pox as a child. But when ds1 was 6 weeks old I came down with it. I guess being tired/rundown lowered my immune system. The nurse and gp both said Ds wouldn't get it as I was breast feeding and he'd pick up immunity from me. I did point out that I obviously wasn't immune. Of course Ds got it at 8 weeks old...he was so ill, poor thing. It was scary at the time and the most ill any of the dc's have ever been. Ds2 did 4 years at primary without a day off sick. Ds3 has only had the odd day here and there. He was furious recently when I sent him in with a sore throat, he was convinced he had covid. Negative test done...so he went in. As far as I know ds2, ds3 and Dh haven't had covid. Ds1 had it with just a sore throat. None of mine went to nursery young, I have always thought growing up on a farm with dogs, chickens and cattle probably helped. Ds2 only asked recently why he's not ill so often as his mates. I'll find out when he comes home if he had freshers flu. He's still due home tomorrow, I'm very excited about it.

@Zebracat I'd ask her to set out what she feels would be making a success of year one. Are her aspirations reasonable? Is she comparing herself to others in a negative way?
To my mind DS will have had a successful year one if he's made a few friends, attended everything he should have (or online) and handed in all assignments on time to a reasonable standard. His tutor has told him students should not work too hard in year one but aim for balance. DS's view would include doing well in his sports.
I don't know whether carrying her trauma should be labelled as a disability but there are some things known to carry over into adulthood. Foetal alcohol syndrome for example.

Btw @mummyinbeds (and others) maybe we could arrange a quick sneaky Christmas drink when we pick ds up in Dec?

What date do all your DCs finish for Christmas?