Thread 39 - Covid Cohort - Our Adult Children Now Post 18

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

Thanks for all the well wishes, last night dd could not stop talking about the course, its a huge relief. Your support has been lovely the last few weeks.

I'm looking forward to reading all your starting days and next steps now whatever they are!

Nottingham people @singingstones , DS messaged me last night to say that he has paid his Broadgate Park deposit as he managed to get into the hub. Won't have more info until I see him tomorrow night though.

Hi Heifer, not 100% decided here just yet, as Durham is catered, TCD self catered, but we have agreed (if latter), to give £250 per month, but we'll pay for mobile and any sport subs. We will not be funding her social life as the expectation is that she'll get PT work, we've not funded this for the past 2 years.

It may be tight; cost of living in Dublin etc, and if there are exceptional one off items, I'm sure we can pick up, but ideally we'd like her to be as self sufficient as possible, given that we are picking up accom/tuition costs in lieu of zero Student Finance.

On a PT note, apologies if you are all already aware of this site, but, if any of your DC are looking to pick up flexible PT hours at reasonable (they dictate their rate) whilst at their UK universities or jobs, then the Bubble app is worth getting signed up to, if they are good with kids and like baby sitting type duties.

After signing up and clearing references (the site people are very on it!), she got her first jobs within 24 hours with a starting rate of £10 for her first gig, they do take commission but it decreases as you secure more sessions. Think similar to Borrowmydoggy, really flexible for what your DC are skilled/have interests in. BOYS too, think spending a couple of hours gaming on an evening with kids to while away the home sick hours? (I am of course generalising tongue in cheek on interests of your boys, my DH has never gamed in his life!!)

@Heifer , DS has his student loan (minimum), we can him a budget for accommodation which we felt covered a mid cost hall and if he wanted anything else he'd have to fund it. As it is he's ended up in catered, but the price inc catering was as much as a premium SC en suite room, he's paying £40 a week towards the cost, leaving him with about £60-70 a week (I think that's plenty)

His grandparents are going to send him a bit of pocket money - £50 once a month.

I'm hoping his Dad may put his hand in his pocket, but I'm not holding my breath (he hasn't offered anything towards setting him up at Uni and has barely paid any maintenance since Easter .

Anyway I've gone off on a ranting tangent , I'm also expecting him to want to try and get some part time work too. He likes earning and has lots of bar work exp which I'm hoping will help!

Have a good day today Also, I hope it all goes smoothly.

Thanks for the heads up about Notts Heifer and omni. I have sent the welcome week link to DS and we will try paying the deposit today.

Re money, DS will have about £85pw self catering, so after food maybe £50pw for socialising / eating out / travelling / clothes / anything he needs for his course. Doesn't seem much when one night out could easily cost that much but he can get a job if he wants any more! He will be well kitted out at our expense before he goes, gym is free, we'll carry on paying for his phone which is sim only and very cheap.

Always interesting to read about money etc.

DD has minimum loan, and we are topping it up to what maximum loan will be (which means a top-up of about £100 per week outside London, right? We are spreading over whole year as she might stay away during the summer.)

She found uni accommodation which is almost exactly paid for by the student loan, so in theory she'll have that £100 per week for expenses. We are hoping that she will be able to save a bit of that towards next year when rent is likely to be for 12 months rather than 10. We'll see!

Yes I will continue paying for his SIM, get some textbooks and probably the onsite gym as well as I can just swap that from here. I think I need to give him £200 extra a month as does his dad but I might be misremembering. Anything after that he will have to get a job yes.

We were in the very fortunate position of being able to start paying her the £100 per week at the start of the summer, so she has built up a reserve. The deal is that she is buying all her kit and start-up costs from that, and will doubtless go shopping for supplies once she knows what she needs! (There's a Wilko 10 minutes walk from her accommodation.)

@crazycrofter & @Tomnooktoldmeto
From what everyone has said, it seems my GP hasn't been very helpful in explaining exactly what Amitriptyline is for. It was prescribed to me for Fibromyalgia but I've declined using it as I was told it's to help with sleep. The constant pain means I'm always trying to find a comfortable position to lie which means walking up constantly. I then spend the whole day dozing and unable to concentrate on anything. I didn't want to compound the daytime issue by using a drug that I was told would make you groggy during the day. I also wasn't told that it helps with the pain as well.
I'm glad to hear such positive reviews to the extent I think I'll be going back to the GP to start on it, could be a game-changer for me.

@Tomnooktoldmeto They can definitely get free prescriptions if still in full time education at 18. I just came from the GP and DS collected his prescription, free. It's says so at the back of the prescription form.

Re: uni, it seems 'Nottingham' is the university of the year on MN for 2022 .
DS1's yr it was UEA.

Hi all, Just giving you a wave so I don't lose the thread. Thanks for the new thread and the updated list!
We'll be proper empty nesters this time round, when our Ukrainian family has moved out. End of an era. When the first two went, I did a lot of going into their bedrooms and breathing them in. But you get used to their absence after a few weeks and it starts to feel quite normal. It's then the whirlwind when they come back for holidays that feels odd.

@Shimy I also take it for Fibromyalgia, of late I’ve been having a lot of success with CBD oil, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but after 20 years of chronic pain I’ve tried many strategies and currently it’s working

On prescriptions Our pharmacy insisted that the DC were no longer covered once the school year had ended. They said that University is not full time education and that both needed a prepayment certificate . It just adds to our monthly bills as our NHS dentist also went private so we have to cover both DC for that too. Fortunately their private health care through DH’s job is till 25

As ours are staying at home in minimum loan we will continue covering all their bills etc, we are very fortunate in a way that DD has a DSA taxi service which provides transportation at bus price so they only have to pay this out of their loans

I have just had a mega catch up on the last week.

DS and his GF love the Dunelm reading pillows I gave them for Christmas after the recommendations here.

@NCTDN I think your DC got Wills Hall (which is fabulous, beautiful staircases and stained glass and a chapel, great balls). Parking on the Downs is free for a few hours, but the street parking north of the Downs is all free and unrestricted. Goldney also one of the best halls (particularly the gardens and grotto and great location), so good allocations to the Bristol DC on here. Parking for Goldney more tricky, all residents/payment 6 days/week.

My DC are super sleepy, DS1 would happily sleep until 2pm, managed to get to about 3 of his catered breakfasts last year. One of the few good consequences of Covid is that most universities have all lectures available on line now, so you can't oversleep for them as you watch at your convenience. His clinical years will be a shock! I think sleep is addictive - the more you have, the more you need.

@Piggywaspushed bit late on the music stand thing, but if he needs to be able to carry the music stand and euphonium to rehearsals it may be worth learning to use the compact ones. Is he going to have to store it in his room? DS2 will have a similar issue as he plays double bass.

@Tomnooktoldmeto That is really strange advice your pharmacist gave. Of course university is full-time education. My dc have both received free prescription post 18. See attached prescription form. If you are enrolled on a 'full-time' degree, then you are in full time education.

@Tomnooktoldmeto

Sorry just re read that and contradicted myself! duh DS2 has had free prescriptions after they turned 18 (May baby), infact just this morning! So maybe we are the ones in the wrong? the form says up to 18 and in full-time ed. I've always thought they were covered and we weren't queried at the pharmacists, he completed the form tick box as usual. DS2 completed form HC1 for dental treatment when he was 19 for free treatment but that's only covers when they're 19 I think? I must look into this properly because ds2 is on repeat meds.

Your pharmacist is wrong though that university (full time degree) is not full time education - it definitely is! it's the age bit that's a red herring.

Sorry to hear you have Fibromyalgia as well, it's a horrible condition. I was just diagnosed 3 yrs ago but been having symptoms for about 14yrs. I tried a cbd Patch last yr for painful shoulders but it did absolutely nothing. I don't know whether I didn't get the right type but it was recommended on a support group I'm on.

I didn’t think NHS prescriptions are free for UG level, it’s not mandatory education even if it’s full time Ed, so up to 19 if you are a sept born like mine?

if I’m wrong, I’ll be delighted!

I'm not sure about prescriptions but I suddenly remembered this morning that I need to post DD(16)'s letter to HMRC to carry on with child benefit through her A levels, I had put it to one side till she decided where to go (you may remember my school v college dithering last week, she enrolled at college yesterday BTW). Just in case anyone else with a 16yo needs to do this too.

Just had to pay for dd's dental check up

@ZittiEBuoni yes, Goldney looked rather grand.
DD had her dental check up in August as I knew it would still be free.
We are celebrating DD's 19th birthday today.

Goldney hall is stunning.
Dd1 was there the first year. The grounds & garden are so beautiful & I was rather taken by the huge rooms in the communal areas. Though much of the socialising seemed to be in the modern flats, mainly via pre's & parties. I remember the Goldney ball was good fun. DD so misses being near the action, as Somerset is the pits from a social point of view, albeit very beautiful from a scenic view.

You can check eligibility here: services.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/check-for-help-paying-nhs-costs/start

18 and in full time education is free (includes uni see screenshots)

Just a note for those who obtain private prescriptions. Boots is way cheaper than other chemists. Very important if you're a student. DD has been quoted anything from £20.00 ( boots) to £75.00 for her roaccutane prescription. ADHD drugs likewise.

Thanks for the openness about money. I so didn’t want our girl to have less, but I think she may end up with more than others. She has the maximum loan and may also get a bursary. We wanted to soften the blow of ending her allowance and phone payments so we gave her £500.00 at the same time. Then rang her phone provider. We can’t change her current package which is £61.00 a month, and we can’t transfer it to her either as she has no credit rating. So we have to keep paying till next May. And all the setting up stuff is so expensive. Really regretting the 500 quid now.
I got her 2 sheets, pillowcases, mattress topper, duvet and pillows, and a reading cushion but she thinks she needs a second duvet cover and is sending links for fancy ones. I think the spare is going to be from a sale somewhere! Towels are definitely coming out of the cupboard.

Zebra, sent you a PM

Thank you @Monkey2001 Do all halls do their own balls? I hadn't really thought of that - I went to a small college so never really experienced socials on a big scale.

@heifer I think dd will have a bit more to play with in the first year, or at least we’ll have more flexibility as she has a mid size loan which exactly covers her (catered) accommodation. For years 2 and 3 she’ll have minimum loan and not catered, so we’ll have to top up rent.

We’re just taking on a big mortgage and bigger house due to having to move for dh’s job so things will be tight. I’ve said £50 a week this year but term time only. She’s got her child trust money intact still (about £3.5k) and she’s planning to work as much as possible. I’ve said she should aim not to spend £50 a week as she prob won’t have that after food costs for years 2 and 3.

I hope I’m not being unreasonable. To be honest, I can’t see her life at uni being that different to now. She’s managed to do heaps of social stuff this summer, with travel costs and eating out/clubbing etc too, using her £25 a week allowance and earnings from jobs.